Office Spiders

What's the view on Office Spiders

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I had to create a "spider friendly environmental policy" yesterday after discovering that a  large spider living over the stairs near my office was cruelly and deliberately killed. (whist I was away from my office - suspiciously). Whats's the general view on this important issue?

I am pro spider - anti fly, but it appears I am in the minority, many colleagues seems strangely squirmish when encountering a spider.

Am I wrong, are spiders evil?

Replies (40)

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By Duggimon
17th May 2017 09:46

I'm very anti-spider, they freak me out. I still employ a more buddhist method of control though and eject them firmly but gently out the door via a glass and card.

It's very ugly seeing people batter something to death because they don't like it, even if it is just a spider.

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By SteveHa
17th May 2017 09:55

I'm not the biggest fan of spiders. However, as long as they stay out of my way I'll leave them be. Now, if the insist on perching upside down on the ceiling above my head, one of us has to go.

Even to the point that at home, as long as it's on the far wall, and not too active, I'll leave it. If they start getting boisterous it's time to turf them out via the glass and cardboard method.

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paddle steamer
By DJKL
17th May 2017 09:55

Spiders are welcome at home- they tend to be outdoor spiders at this time of year but come Autumn they start turning up ,which to me shows some perseverance (Robert the Bruce) as we are the top two floors of the building so they have to get past the neighbours and their cat and dog first.

We do not get many in the office but it may be due to not being very warm and having a suspected wasps' nest in the outside wall. Frankly if I was going to squat our offices would be low down on the list of candidates.

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Replying to DJKL:
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By sosleepy
17th May 2017 15:15

DJKL wrote:

Spiders are welcome at home- they tend to be outdoor spiders at this time of year but come Autumn they start turning up ,which to me shows some perseverance (Robert the Bruce)

Was that a Stewart Lee reference?

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By newstarter01
17th May 2017 09:59

There's been research carried out in Clacton showing a natural progression from battering spiders to voting for UKIP then voting leave

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Richard Hattersley
By Richard Hattersley
17th May 2017 10:00

Stick me in the camp of gently scooping the little fella up in a glass and tipping it out the window.

That said, we're on the fifth floor at AccountingWEB towers so I don't think the window option would be that favourable for the spider.

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Replying to Richard Hattersley:
By SteveHa
17th May 2017 10:04

Unless it's a particularly overweight spider, it should be fine out of the window. Air resistance will ensure a gentle fall.

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Replying to SteveHa:
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By NeilRH
17th May 2017 10:18

SteLacca wrote:

Air resistance will ensure a gentle fall.

Unless there is an unsuspecting person below!

I'm a keeper of tarantulas, knowing this means you can probably deduce my perspective. However, my flat seems to be a summer holiday home for daddy-long-legs and their web is a pain when you walk through a door an immediately have to perform some freestyle karate! I have a similar issue with my car, as at home it's parked next to shrubs that seem be a breeding ground (literally, I believe) for spiders, they even live in small crevices in the bodywork, behind wing mirrors and if the sun shines at just the right angle you can see the odd piece of web in the car!

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Replying to SteveHa:
paddle steamer
By DJKL
17th May 2017 11:57

Surely weight/mass ought not to matter that much.

Terminal velocity is a factor of acceleration and time, acceleration is here surely gravity less air resistance, terminal velocity is v=u+at. Obviously if we launch at an angle we will need to consider some basic trig re the vectors but if a straight drop then we can ignore the U.

We can roughly calculate time from height of the drop using S=ut+1/2at^2, this likely simplifies to S=1/2at^2, then solve for t using 9.82 less air resistance; this latter is going to be really tricky to calculate- has there been much research on spider air resistance?

Of course there is then the force when impacting the ground, but providing Boris' additional mass accompanies an additional surface area then the force per mm^2 ought not to be that bad.

Now, if you were to strap a lead weight to Boris prior to launch, that would be a very different outcome.

Warning:-No assurance of accuracy re the foregoing is implied, this firm does not advise on applied engineering and certainly not in relation to spiders.

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Replying to DJKL:
By Duggimon
17th May 2017 12:48

Air resistance is a function of mass and surface area!

A low density object like a spider has large surface area in relation to their mass, a high density object such as an elephant has low surface area in relation to their mass. If you chuck them both out the 12th floor window window then the elephant will be eight tons of kebab meat a good ten seconds before the spider gracefully lands.

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Replying to Duggimon:
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By mabzden
17th May 2017 12:57

Our office elephant policy clearly states that people shouldn't chuck an elephant out of a 12th floor window under any circumstances, and ignoring this policy is a serious disciplinary issue.

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Replying to mabzden:
paddle steamer
By DJKL
17th May 2017 13:53

Is that the Elephant in the room re office policies?

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Replying to DJKL:
By SteveHa
17th May 2017 13:20

You haven't taken into account web slinging, which can also help slow descent.

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Replying to DJKL:
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By GaryMc
17th May 2017 15:48

But is this an African or a European spider?

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By mabzden
17th May 2017 11:46

I can't comment on office spider policy (it's never come up as an issue) but I did find a very large specimen in my shower yesterday morning.

It looked like a mouse with eight legs and had leopard-print markings on its back. I respect all God's creatures so I put it outside.

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Replying to mabzden:
By mrme89
17th May 2017 11:52

mabzden wrote:

I did find a very large specimen in my shower yesterday morning.

No need to brag.

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By Dick Stastey
17th May 2017 11:25

You're never more than three feet away from a spider!

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By mrme89
17th May 2017 11:45

It's the office snakes that you really have to watch out for.

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boxfile
By spilly
17th May 2017 12:07

I'm always happy to see a money spider though.

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By Democratus
17th May 2017 12:16

In case anyone wants it

SPIDER FRIENDLY POLICY

The Company aims to conduct its operational and administrative activities in a manner that protects the existence of spiders, spider webs and associated spider friendly environments.

The company is committed to:

• Continually reviewing its services and evaluating the options for enhancing the existence of spiders in the building and where possible company vehicles.
• Preventing the destruction of spiders and their environment.
• Monitoring and recording of our spiders to demonstrate our progress in achieving 100% effective spider protection.
• Setting and reviewing spider friendly objectives and targets.
• Continually improving our Environmental Management System to the benefit of spiders.
• Complying with all regulatory and legislative requirements with respect to allowing and encouraging the existence of spiders.
• Ensuring that all personnel on and off site are aware of their responsibility regarding the protection of spiders from accidental or deliberate death.
• Communicating our policy to our suppliers and employees.
• Making our spider friendly policy available to the public.

All staff are to ensure compliance with this policy. Any member of staff who has a phobia or similar fear of spiders must report to the Spider Protection Officer where they will be issued with a blindfold in order to ensure that they don’t see any spiders.

Employees caught interfering with or complicit in the disturbance of spiders will be offered aversion therapy to ensure that they are not involved in any future incidents.

This policy, which provides the framework for setting and reviewing our SPIDER FRIENDLY objectives and targets, shall be reviewed at our Management Review meeting and updated, as required, in light of changing environmental legislation.

Democratus
Spider Protection Officer

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Replying to Democratus:
By slipknot08
17th May 2017 13:17

I'm not sure the policy covers the wearing of ear-protection to a sufficient degree... anyone in my vicinity when I discover a spider (including, presumably, the poor innocent arachnid) is likely to be exposed to dangerous decibel levels for a sustained period of time (my husband says I attain frequencies which could seriously inconvenience the local bats). I'm firmly in the "gently usher them outdoors" camp though - I don't see why a poor spider has to suffer for my irrational fear :-)

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Replying to Democratus:
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By Hugh Simpson
17th May 2017 13:29

Was this policy formed over the web?

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Replying to Democratus:
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By kiwilondon99
17th May 2017 15:37

this should be extended out -
have a lizard/gheko policy +officer and a mouse/field mice policy and officer. tadpole etc and of course + a rare breed is bound to found lurking in the corner or under the refuse

this way everyone will have a second job and loads of H&S + conservation meetings, or just plain job creation NICE

OP from the original post- did the cleaning co find itself in breach of contract ?

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Replying to kiwilondon99:
By Democratus
17th May 2017 15:47

No, they will argue that they are not paid to clean up spiders. (or a whole lot of other things it would seem).

It was the girly staff in the main office across the corridor who persuaded on of our engineers to "deal" with the issue.

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Keep Calm, I'm and Accountant!
By i-accounts
17th May 2017 12:20

I have a simply wonderful FCA (Fly Control Assistant) called Stella Fang and woe betide anyone who tries to remove her as flies play havoc with my touchscreen in the summer months without her presence! he is also brilliant with wasps when they dare to venture near to her web. I find naming them and identifying their usual haunts is enough to ensure they are left in peace by all those who chance to encounter them in my office, Stella lives peacefully in the corner above and behind my monitor and knows her boundaries thankfully as she is huge with very large fangs which frankly make me a little uncomfortable!

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Sarah Douglas - HouseTree Business Ltd
By sarah douglas
17th May 2017 13:07

Wow who would kill a spider. My office can have as many spiders as it wants there harmless.

No I would not be happy if someone killed one. It says more about them. They could have at least put it outside.

We have a spider in our living room every now and then he has a walk and then we don,t see him. My son has named him Jeff. If he does not see him for a while he wonders where he is. There may be more than 1 Jeff but my son believes it is the same one

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Replying to sarah douglas:
RLI
By lionofludesch
17th May 2017 13:29

sarah douglas wrote:

Wow who would kill a spider. My office can have as many spiders as it wants there harmless.

All spiders are poisonous.

Many are deadly.

Happily, not many of these are in the UK.

A friend of mine opened a kitchen cupboard in Darwin, from which a large, red object fell out. Fearing it to be a red-back, he dematerialised, similarly to an episode of Star Trek, and reappeared by the door. After a few minutes of it not moving, he edged closer to establish whether it was dead. It turned out to be a Brillo pad.

He's been subject to a good deal of good-natured chaffing for the last 20 years.

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Replying to lionofludesch:
By Democratus
17th May 2017 14:03

"All spiders are poisonous."?

Not all of them, but i believe that all of them are venomous to a greater of lesser degree.

I agree , happily not in the UK though.

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Replying to lionofludesch:
By SteveHa
17th May 2017 15:23

lionofludesch wrote:

All spiders are poisonous.

Then don't eat them (I'm pretty sure that would fall foul of the spider friendly policy, anyway).

Do spiders have a trade union to protect their rights?

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Replying to SteveHa:
paddle steamer
By DJKL
17th May 2017 15:49

No, they have too many blacklegs when they go out on strike.

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By The Accountant
17th May 2017 16:17

Oh do get over yourselves you do-gooder protectionists. Kill 'em, jump on 'em, mash 'em up. Problem solved.
Seriously, spiders have very delicate stomachs and even a short fall from window height can rupture their stomachs and cause death.

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By 356B
17th May 2017 16:20

Reduced to using a laptop, as desktop is being decontaminated due to influx of Bagheera kiplingi. It's my fault for leaving salad sandwiches on my desk.
I was always under the impression that if I left my mouse on the desk the problem wouldn't arise, but it seems I'm wrong!

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Replying to 356B:
By Democratus
17th May 2017 16:57

Would your mouse not also eat the sandwich?

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Replying to Democratus:
paddle steamer
By DJKL
17th May 2017 17:08

Is that perhaps a more modern day iteration of the fox, goose and bag of beans problem ?

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Replying to DJKL:
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By 356B
17th May 2017 17:58

No. There's no river running across my desk.

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FT
By FirstTab
17th May 2017 23:05

I am evil. I turn on the vacuum cleaner. They have no escape.

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By Duggimon
18th May 2017 10:57

Killing spiders is racist unless you also beat to death any stray cats or dogs who wander in to your office.

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By Southwestbeancounter
19th May 2017 10:31

How can anyone kill a spider?!!

If you are a wimp put it outside but don't drop it from a height as you are likely to kill it - they don't float like you would think they would apparently.

Unless they are poisonous how can you be scared of them? Even the biggest critter is minute compared to a human.

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Red Leader
By Red Leader
19th May 2017 11:27

Eight legs good, six legs bad.

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By Swiss Toni
26th Jul 2017 16:34

Hi yes, sup.

I have no problem with spiders, they eat those awful flies that sit on dog logs and then land on your mouse whilst you sleep at night. Then, when you fancy an elevenses after spending two frantic hours double clicking you are transferring said dog log to mouth. Not ideal.

Chow a-nis airson

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