Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- Finding a Company UTR for a newly formed company 116 1
- Recomendations for a purchase order management book please? 118 1
- Instant CPD offer 280 4
- Cash basis 514 13
- Income from rent charged to business 120 2
- payroll software 365 3
- CIMA accountant wants to start consultancy 439 5
- Statutory sick pay 308 4
- Dividend in specie 368 9
- Complicated Company car purchase 220 2
- Ltd Company Buying Own Shares and Transferring Assets 175 3
- Retail vat schemes for a restaurant 145 1
- Rental Property W&T And Equipment 273 1
- Legislation access for part-time sole practitioner? 294 1
- Ownership of land - declaration of trust 167 3
- Fee base v staff ratio 383 6
- NIC thresholds - two employments 1,857 27
- Statutory Accounts - Dividends Disclosure Note 334 3
- Unincorporated organistion ceasing to exist 258 2
- Gift in kind to charity by company: services 108 1
- Skandia using wrong address 573
- FHL, period of grace and Entrepreneur's relief 306
- Does anyone use PS Financials accounting software out there? 306
- Employee rewards 288
- Gift of reversion and lease into trust by two different people - later PPR 254
- EPS Analysis - Change to EURO 228
- Etax Australian 187
- LLP in Construction Industry 155
- Selling On Amazon & Calculatign Prices/Vat 132
- Interest and late payment charges HMRC 131