Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- Value pricing 701 25
- vat return 235 2
- RTI Annual Scheme Query 140 4
- Payroo Employer allowance query 152 4
- Small employers paying people when sick thanks alot! 3,008 32
- PAYE coding notice - deliberate misstatement 166 4
- Private residence relief with entrepreneur relief mix 279 4
- Reregister for VAT 130 2
- Producing graphical KPI's etc 196 6
- Weely paid employees 243 3
- Would this save hours of your time? 465 11
- Director's tax return 278 6
- Keep receiving RTI late submission notice 210 6
- Wrong career 474 18
- MONEYSOFT - EARLIER YEAR UPDATE 283 7
- Laptop purchase 1,387 20
- PTP software disaster 274 2
- CIS repayment shambles finally over? 230 2
- Treatment of EU Purchases on Sage 102 2
- Tricky VAT question 194 1
- Residential Property Purchase Above £750K 797
- Using Sage with Sofa Categories 550
- Does anyone have an unwanted ICAEW wooden plaque? 415
- Goods shipped inter EU and VAT Reporting 294
- Free Tax Legislation? 266
- Director Loan account operation 245
- transferring simply accounting 2010 from xp to windows 7 240
- Non-Resident Director - UK Tax Position? 236
- Sage 200 and Access Dimensions reviews 229
- Paye procedures for CVA 159