Does anyone want my clients?!

NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.

 

Take my clients please!!

As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered

1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.

2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.

3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.

 

Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.

 

4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice".  My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply

5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.

 

6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?

 

I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.

 

Comments
There are 46 comments. Login or register to view them.

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cparker87 |

It doesn't have to be like that

mr. mischief |
mr. mischief's picture

a shoebox of receipts has just arrived....................

Ding Dong |
Ding Dong's picture

make it as easy as possible

taxhound |
taxhound's picture

Email?

petersaxton |
petersaxton's picture

I keep telling them to F*off.

ireallyshouldknowthisbut |

Don't do it

Paul Scholes |
Paul Scholes's picture

January Madness

Moonbeam |
Moonbeam's picture

Totally agree

mr. mischief |
mr. mischief's picture

All Done

pawncob |
pawncob's picture

£££ upfront plus "a chat"

Lancsboy2 |

horrible clients

Tosie |

I always emphasise the other downsides

ShirleyM |
ShirleyM's picture

Shirleym

pauljohnston |

More valuable work to do

Paul Scholes |
Paul Scholes's picture

All but one...

Fijon158 |

ha ha ha wheeee

Tom 7000 |
Tom 7000's picture

oh yes 1 more thing

Tom 7000 |
Tom 7000's picture

re: Clients

Veronica |

Hehe

Constantly Confused |
Constantly Confused's picture

Nothing Seems To Work

Robert Clubb |

Wow

bigdave1971 |

its easy

Tom 7000 |
Tom 7000's picture

@Lancsboy2

Red Leader |
Red Leader's picture

You break your back for them and then they dont pay!!

whithys |

374 clients, all done bar

Andy Reeves |
Andy Reeves's picture

well you asked

Tom 7000 |
Tom 7000's picture

270 returns in 4.5 days good going

edward33 |

Thank you

bigdave1971 |

Stop whingeing...

Wilbur |

Organ grinders/monkeys? Spike Milligan quote

MartinLevin |
MartinLevin's picture

ABC Accounts Books

petersaxton |
petersaxton's picture

My best year ever (by a whisker)

davidross |

Bag o' sh1te!

Brugesbear |
Brugesbear's picture

How much?

petersaxton |
petersaxton's picture

Beer tokens

Brugesbear |
Brugesbear's picture

Money slang

petersaxton |
petersaxton's picture

No UTRs

NigeC |

card reader?

Lancsboy2 |

illness = disintegrated practice

Lancsboy2 |

Wow!

ShirleyM |
ShirleyM's picture

Backup Plan - Continuity agreement?

Paul Scholes |
Paul Scholes's picture

CA in place

pauljohnston |

Not easy

petersaxton |
petersaxton's picture

But they registered late, so

Andy Reeves |
Andy Reeves's picture

Cheapo post its

VLH |