Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- US LLC - anomaly in UK and US treatment 61 3
- Basic Tools and PAYE succession 110 1
- Advice please! 358 2
- VAT on new builds 135 3
- incorrect old p60 177 3
- CGT query on investment property sale 106 1
- Related party disclosure 58 1
- Summarise excel cashbook by month 319 6
- Are accountants facing a doomsday scenario? 1,907 28
- Redundancy Pay 441 6
- Entertaining - am I missing something or is my client taking the mickey 706 6
- Cost of demolition of a shed - revenue or capital? 722 19
- Sage Priority Support 117 2
- HMRC interview re client authorisation 512 4
- Becoming a subcontractor to Accountancy Practices 361 2
- Rental business through company without owning the property? 146 1
- Pensions Auto-Enrolment when no computer/internet access 138 1
- Bank Interest Held by Solicitor During Divorce 155 1
- Missing tax return 209 2
- Are you going to Tick and Bash on 21 May? 925 24