Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- Stamp duty on multiple property transaction 288 17
- Free invoicing software 70 1
- New business - journal entries 192 15
- BTL property solely in wife's name - can she split rental income with husband? 523 15
- CIS deductions against the wrong UTR 233 7
- Why should I retain membership? 2,538 43
- Looking for BIK v mileage comparison software 151 2
- Capitalised professional fees - with no corresponding asset 395 4
- 100% Annual investment allowance on luxury cars 657 17
- Alerting clients versus walking away from clients 328 4
- Trade name 52 1
- Resident Landlord Expenses 180 6
- Samadian effect on self employed student support workers 113 3
- Employee shareholder contracts 101 1
- Lettings expenses 106 2
- Capital Allowances and Building Improvements 358 12
- Annual tax investigation cover fee? 333 11
- Can a sole-trader make pension contributions to avoid loss of personal allowance? 302 9
- PAYE 460 12
- Using CT600.pdf if all the directors are different 100 1
- Auto enrolment excuses 731
- Feedback on accounts production software for IFRS 700
- Add T&Cs to Sales Order in Sage 375
- Social investment tax relief 195
- Digita Hosted Software 188
- Call Centre Data Costs 185
- option to tax 168
- VAT on deposits 161
- Buying goods in US and selling them to company in US 148
- Travel costs and contractors 138