Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- New shareholder 252 4
- Newly Started Practice 787 16
- Moneysoft update problem 75 1
- HMRC stupidity of the day 285 3
- Directors obligation to notify 222 2
- Bookkeeping software for cafe and VAT 232 4
- Clients 819 17
- Practice Company Secretarial Software recommendations please 267 5
- Lets hear it for HMRC! 375 3
- Don't HMRC collect CT anymore? 339 2
- Sage Payroll 193 4
- PAYROLL - SAGE v Microsoft Payroll Manager 186 3
- Client's company struck off 1,021 19
- Simplified auto enrolment? 270 2
- Tax and children 222 1
- ACCA, ACPA, IFA, ICPA 613 8
- Does SMP and SPP go up if leave goes across 2 tax years? 409 16
- Starting new accounting business 385 6
- Leaving the flat rate scheme 175 4
- error on companies house accounts 799 18
- QROP pension input amounts 506
- HMRC BENCHMARK EXPENSES 494
- write off loan or loan to equity swap or both 451
- EPS and CIS deductions 313
- Sole trade business in UK, but the owner works from EU 300
- Construction CIS LLP Company 292
- Stamp duty on house transfer between spouses 259
- SAGE winforecast 210
- LIVE: Budget aftermath webinar 196
- Tax Investigation - Employee Travel 191