Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- Limited company built a property and the client has made this messy 265 7
- 2012 13 HMRC QUERY 540 9
- Transferring rental property to limited company 485 14
- Are there Sage Instant Accounts Plus report which give breakdowns of the debtors and creditors control account balances by invoice for each currency? 103 3
- Time recording 159 3
- HMRC Funding for Employee PAYE refund 257 4
- Paying dividends to Ordinary shares with different nominal values 147 2
- Land Registry 272 3
- How did you recalculate your payroll fees 967 13
- Auto Enrolment 673 4
- Separate companies same Director buy from each other 808 19
- Company Number 10000000 411 4
- Advertising Tips? 334 7
- Auto enrolment confusion 1,519 29
- IR35 369 5
- Exclusion of single director companies from the Employment Allowance in 2016/17 428 12
- Revenue phishing examples 271 1
- iris update 11.9.2 238 2
- VAT Box 7 and supplies from unregistered traders 452 13
- 2015 tax year end 547 1
- Self employed and HMRC Worldwide Subsistence Rates 734
- Interest paid - do new rules affect Tax Credits? 435
- Self employed consultant working in Ireland 374
- Costly Accounting Software contract 369
- Directors' advances and credits 286
- Market Invoice (P2P invoice discounting) tax treatment 260
- DTA tie-breaker issue 251
- Tax on internet ad sharing income 235
- Credit against UK NI for NI paid to EEC Countries 210
- CGT for NOn UK residents 195