Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- SA302 181 3
- Amazon Fees, Sage VAT/Tax code T20? 102 1
- Scottish independence - what happens to HMRC? 1,045 56
- Are HMRC cutting out Agents in tax investigations? 252 2
- Dental practice incorpration 113 1
- Audit rules 154 4
- Stopping trading and de-registering for VAT 228 5
- Disengaging a client who uses our office as a registered office address 819 20
- Go Cardless 266 8
- business entertaining deductibility 127 1
- Self assessment tax arrears 144 2
- R & D 104 3
- Shareholder/Directors termination payments 80 1
- Childcare vouchers and final month payroll Qs 111 2
- Can anybody help withe the RTI end of year process? 163 3
- Payroll software with annual pay period? 154 1
- New Business Registration 216 5
- Hosted email exchange 135 4
- Excel formula for UK corporation tax including losses 151 1
- G P life time allowance 122 3
- Xtuple 502
- Qtac payroll for bureau 336
- Confused - Professional Association a Mutual trader, or not? 281
- Industrial & Provident Societies 277
- Mehjoo 221
- Data transfer from Sage Line 50 to VT Transaction+ 218
- New strategic report 171
- Domain name sale and limited company 159
- South African Government Pension 156
- CIS schemes 151