Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- Holding companies 110 5
- Money transfers between companies owned by one person 64 1
- Offsetting CIS tax suffered against CT 70 2
- another ir35!!!! 953 5
- A change from the old Q v NQ debate 116 3
- I'm not sure if this is the correct forum but here goes 507 6
- Soil Survey Required Mortgage 194 6
- What does it mean?? 160 2
- PayPal Transaction Analysis 66 2
- Donations/grants by a CIC 167 1
- VAT Registration 388 18
- Gifting shares 226 4
- Is our client doing anything wrong? 641 5
- Notes to statutory accounts 185 9
- Childminding & Wear & Tear Allowance 81 1
- VAT on motor expenses 846 30
- Two clients (married to each other) disappeared from client list 177 4
- A question about share structure 172 2
- VAT & Landlords 109 2
- Client died family to pay redundancy 207 2
- Skandia using wrong address 1,525
- Nil Rate Band Trust - index linked debt by way of charge over property 838
- International interest certificate 456
- NOVA 314
- Can Limited Company Buy Share of Rental Property? 202
- Subby expenses subject to tax & NI? 199
- Bonus Bonds 198
- Management expenses for investment company 189
- DOUBLE TAXATION RELIEF BETWEEN A PRIVATE LTD COMPANY AND GREECE (the private Ltd has no employees and its main activity is 175
- Have we escaped Gift with Reservation of Benfit & Pre-owned asset charges? - Gift after benefit 165