Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- Accounting for cash put into Ltd 18 1
- LTD home office - would HMRC seek to disallow 1,248 8
- RTI and corrections to payroll 1,227 13
- Accountancy practices - are you closed over Christmas or do you let your staff take it off? 966 29
- You know its over 363 4
- HMRC BACK AND FORTH FIGHT ON BTL PROPERTY ALLOWANCES 502 9
- How do you find shareholders of a Cyprus Company ? 235 13
- Valuing my fast-growing internet business for transfer of goodwill on incorporation 188 2
- HMRC won't let me set up online DD for PAYE 170 2
- What is the amount of dividends received as a shareholder that requires registration for self assessment? 269 3
- Cocaine anyone? 521 8
- Late Registration for VAT 496 13
- EIS/SEIS 153 1
- Amortisation of Goodwill 281 1
- TaxCalc Accounts production 428 5
- Depression - HMRC penalties case won because of this illness. 432 12
- Solicitors now, Accountants next 728 10
- How come if you claim benefits you are not entitled to you either have to pay a 50% penalty or are sent to court and either fined or sent to prison (sometimes suspended) and end up with a criminal record. 564 10
- ACCA - still making me laugh 599 4
- Personal pension 406 9
- Hive up 493
- Accounting referance change & deficient accounts. 462
- corporate hierarchy 444
- Advice - 276
- Anyone had HMRC refusing to act on EPS database glitch? 228
- WWOOFers 219
- Co. limited by Guarantee now closed 210
- Art Gallery - Splitting a property between business and personal use 206
- Tax liabilities in USA for warehoused products 185
- Mutual Trading - Exempt CT Income - Do I need clearance? 177