Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- Vat on digital download of music 19 1
- equipment rental 134 6
- Experience with Islamic investor following Sharia-compliant rules? 676 2
- SATR won't match P14 - what would you do? 59 2
- Glass-half-full member of the year? 287 11
- Playstation 4 - Allowable expense or not? 3,246 64
- Help needed.... 80 2
- Claiming salary pre incorporation 46 1
- Quirky thread of the year: Community Awards 403 7
- Freight Forwarders - VAT 115 4
- Non sequitur 364 4
- The complete uselessness of the British banking system 338 6
- HMRC website error 177 1
- Fixed asset registers 168 7
- Has anyone got copies of the Tolley's CTA study manual pdfs from last year? 173 3
- Entrepeneurs Relief 95 1
- Opening balance and suspense account on sage line 50 38 1
- Incorrect Generic non-filing notice 303 10
- What is wrong with HMRC? 349 3
- Very Difficult to type on Aweb again 272 8
- Desperately seeking Susan, Sam or anyone with any other name 1,328
- Darwinpay Partnership Assessment 427
- S464A Charge to tax: conferring benefit & BIK 345
- Alphabet shares 226
- Agent fees to sell business 223
- ACCA continuity of practice arrangement needed 214
- Office recharges 175
- How to reclaim VAT for a non-EC UK visitor 159
- Charge out rates in London 151
- which entity 144