Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- What to say to Tom, Dick and Harry... 235 1
- EU eservices VAT change imminent 321 6
- VAT Tax Point - Overseas Purchase 139 4
- VAT surcharges and change of business entity 15 1
- Recourse to Accountant for incorrect accounts 2,362 20
- Should I move back home away from my office? 496 10
- Property income in different capacities 134 2
- ethical- to continue to act or not? 250 6
- Contract Hire of Vans for Limited Company 89 1
- Recharge for private use of a company car 422 10
- SATR - ommission of capital gains 149 1
- Scanners 187 4
- Overdrawn Directors Loan Account 151 1
- Solar panels - VAT and Capital allowances 247 3
- Payment plans for clients 168 2
- General rule: Evidence that the customer is in business 249 1
- Do most of you still use MS Office? 300 7
- Are any of you agents for doctors? 397 2
- P60 or payslips? 131 1
- IHT dilemma 1,392 21
- Auto enrolment excuses 1,179
- Feedback on accounts production software for IFRS 800
- Add T&Cs to Sales Order in Sage 494
- Digita Hosted Software 322
- Credit where credit's due....... 280
- Director phone costs 242
- Buying goods in US and selling them to company in US 229
- Flat rate VAT- other income calculation 161
- how to object to registered company name... 145
- Double taxation relief - same income, different individual 142