Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- Is Xero payroll as rubbish as I suspect it is? 1,862 41
- Rent a Relief for small husband and wife run guesthouse 236 2
- Xerocon 2016 801 12
- Personal Tax 173 2
- Mortgage Reference 157 2
- Entrepreneurs relief after enhancement 147 3
- VAT - Check on clients business 1,176 45
- Practical experience 848 15
- Buy Samsung Galaxy Note 5 430 9
- VAT 305 1
- Gift aid procedure please? 208 4
- What counts as income for the £100k 'salary' cap for free childcare from 2017? 170 1
- last minute request 275 3
- US tax form 1099 (misc?) 78 1
- Cash gift from India 499 13
- GP ACCOUNTS 83 1
- Write an article on latest tax changes for landlords. 452 16
- Stamp Duty based on Exchange or Completion Date 118 2
- Re-Training costs - tax reief 270 6
- Maternity and claining expenses 668 6