Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- Gift to employee 329 8
- You think HMRC are inefficient? 414 7
- I hate HMRC's voice recognition system - The Inept Interrogator 1,094 22
- Company Pension Contributions 2013/14 50 3
- Investment property where tenant lives rent free 393 8
- VAT Cross Border Invoicing 92 2
- Sage Import Data 280 6
- Slight twist on employment related securities 231 1
- Child and Working Tax Credits and sudden increase in investment income - does this trigger a claw back? 69 2
- Best time software for small practice? 188 2
- Residents Association Corp Tax 308 13
- private to company car? 353 9
- Which address 991 11
- Profit accruing in fiduciary or representative capacity 91 1
- Do I charge VAT for event I held in Paris 256 5
- PAYE Refund Farce At HMRC 953 15
- Car maintenance costs deductible against CT 252 6
- Does anybody still use a Filofax? 466 17
- Vat threshold issues 444 10
- Sale of an investment between group companies 161 7
- DTR : TIOPA 2010 Section 42 471
- CTA study material 450
- Sect 102 TMA 1970 323
- Pre incorp expenses 301
- Relief on French Tax Deposit? 260
- Anyone have clients that use Pay4Later to offer customers credit? 248
- What is the tax position if I am working overseas but via a UK agency? 202
- Gift Aid after 5 April, before 31 Jan - Tax Credits 145
- Anybody have that old ACCA Student Training Record (STR1) 133
- Taxation of partners in an LLP following new rules 128