Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- Anybody still doing returns? 900 35
- Tax relief when working away 119 3
- Capital allowances on transfer of business 233 9
- Money laundering and can accountants be sued by clients if they make a report 1,297 20
- Designated sole Residence 220 5
- A little knowledge 226 5
- Scratch Head 324 1
- Year end 250 2
- US/UK Dual Citizenship 314 13
- Clothing 624 19
- Investment properties/freehold land 150 6
- Parent and subsidiary... 180 5
- Identity check problem 1,509 14
- No tax returns for 6 year 189 1
- Capital allowances on Software 233 2
- Trading Losses - 3 Year Carry Back 125 3
- Company director and KIT days 132 1
- client can't/won't pay 2,193 50
- Digita in the cloud 91 1
- Change to PAYE TAX CODE 253 7
- Form MR01 (Particulars of a charge) - does this need to be filed if you remortgage with the same lender? 960
- Underpaid VAT assessment and relation to SATR 684
- Did you realise Google will not patch android exploit ... 631
- Latest phishing scam 608
- Cashback for opening business bank acct = trading income? 446
- Auto Enrolment Questions Answered 331
- Loan benefit after person ceases as director/employee 263
- Sabbatical payments 223
- Still Christmas at HMRC? 207
- Negligible Value Claim 203