Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- Is compensation for surrender of a lease subject to VAT 80 2
- Can I take action against my accountant for incompetence? 3,614 70
- Do I need a smartphone? 654 22
- Incorporated when they should not have 200 7
- Help with HMRC investigation 81 2
- IHT 205 partnership and business interests 74 2
- Tax position re this lease? 350 8
- Reasonable excuse for not filing returns....Death? 318 5
- AWeb - download file 115 2
- pension paid by company? 320 8
- Why would they want his purchase invoices?? 732 17
- Late annual return 110 1
- Charity work 208 10
- Company Director In Prison 372 8
- Subcontractor and CIS Deductions made by Contractor 222 12
- HMRC Agents Line 127 2
- Managing Employee Expenses 175 6
- Has anyone read the implications of the Lisbon treaty? 1,684 60
- inheritance tax 569 14
- donations to school via self employed business (registered charity) 164 5
- Property exchange - 8-year legal delay following fall-out 672
- Have you staged yet for auto enrolment? 499
- Cancelled 426
- Cancelled 363
- SAGE Payroll Data for Import to MS Dynamics AX 361
- Probiz 333
- Free-standing washing machine - unfurnished lettings 322
- Phishing emails purporting to be from CIPFA? 242
- Is this UK incapacity benefit taxable in UK or Jersey? 214
- Another HMRC computer glitch? 197