Does anyone want my clients?!
NOT A QUESTION REALLY BUT I'M SURE YOU'VE ALL GOT SIMILAR STORIES.
Take my clients please!!
As we all are, the last two weeks tend to be left for the dregs of society. In the last 24 hrs I have encountered
1) Drove to taxi driver's house (you would think he could get in his taxi and come to me) - we went through his box of cr*p and "lo and behold" the last two year's blank VAT returns were there after all, as was my letter and draft accounts. Funny that.
2) Met with second car dealer whose accounts show a GP of 7%. Nice chap but the "I'm stupid I don't understand figures" is wearing a bit thin now. Then he wondered if I could pop back with final accounts so he could sign - it seems a stamp is too hard. Managed to say no.
3) Collected records of another client who hasn't paid PAYE for a year. Says he hasn;t got any money. Hasn;t paid £14,000 to last firm yet, hasn't filed 09/10 yet but now concerned with the automatic £100 penalty even if no tax due!! Cheque upfront on this one me thinks.
Before anyone starts getting bitchy about "don't leave the office get them to come to you" all of the above were near enough next to each other. No cups of tea offered either.
4) Client came round last night at 8pm last night with £2,000 cash (to save her bank charges of course). Then I get a text to say I never signed for the cash as proof I'd received it. (Like 3 months credit to her wasn't enough she wanted proof that I wouldn't ask for the same amount twice". My wife stopped me storming out the house and giving her shoe pie and stopping sending back a very long rude text. But she did get a blunt reply
5) Another client whom I've known 12 months has given my name to someone wanting a character reference. Didn't bother to ask me. THis shady firm called and emailed yesterday as I funnily enough haven;t found time to reply to their call and email of Thursday.
6) Clients sign and send back accounts but not the tax returns!! Can't these monkeys read a letter?
I'm sure there's more but this rant isn't making 25 o/s returns nil. I shouldn't really moan as the above five client all add up to over £6,000 which to some people is six months work.
- recompense capital input 206 12
- How can i allow my clients to digitally sign? 743 15
- Tax refunds for 2014/15 1,150 22
- Spousal transfer and PPR 701 31
- Overseas business trip - accompanied by family 75 1
- unmarried couple, two houses, one rental - CGT? 256 8
- Exports/Dispatches - non VAT registered 106 2
- Capital allowances on taxis 231 2
- CT losses carry back 108 1
- Thoughts on revenue recognition 547 17
- help guys! self employed or still company income? 174 2
- Do I have grounds to dispute our accountant’s fees? 771 19
- Deferred Tax Asset & Liability 420 12
- Where has Portia gone? 2,281 68
- Financial Advisor / Mortgage brokering 157 1
- Associated disposals - Entrepreneur's relief 184 3
- Are Sales to Germany considered VAT Taxable turnover for HMRC? 232 5
- New Client wants an Income Certificate for a Mortgage 993 22
- What shall I reduce payments on account to? 220 3
- transferring from franchisee to ltd comapny 263 5
- Services via intermediaries and new HMRC reporting requirements 800
- RTI - duplicate employee record 565
- Pensions Regulator 455
- How hard is it to reduce a code? 414
- Portia ... Where art thou 337
- Sanzar 317
- How do you do it 304
- Digital marketing focus group 300
- Kashflow balance sheet difference 274
- new investor structure 185