POLITICS EXPLAINED AT LAST !

POLITICS EXPLAINED

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

The state takes both and gives you some milk.

FASCISM

You have 2 cows.

The state takes both and sells you some milk.

NAZISM

You have 2 cows.

The state takes both and shoots you.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The state takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the milk
away.

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

ROYAL BANK OF SCOTLAND (VENTURE) CAPITALISM

You have two cows.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of
credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity
swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back,
with a tax exemption for five cows.

The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a
Cayman Island Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells
the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one
more. You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States , leaving
you with nine cows.

No balance sheet provided with the release.

The public then buys your bull.

SURREALISM

You have two giraffes.

The government requires you to take harmonica lessons.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyse why the cow has dropped dead.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you want
three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and
produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called a Cowkimona and market it
worldwide.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows, but you don't know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You have 300 people milking them.You claim that you have full employment,
and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

You worship them.

A SPANISH CORPORATION

You have 2 cows but owe Santander for 6.

Nobody drinks milk.

You have a siesta and read about the collapse of the Euro

A GREEK CORPORATION

You lease 2 cows and pay somebody 3 times the going rate to milk them using
borrowed money.

You refinance the 4 cows to secure the services of Goldman Sachs. They sell
the future milk production of the 60 cows and fund your lifestyle.

You retire to anywhere that doesn't use the Euro.

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the cr_ap out of you and invade your
country.

You still have no cows, but at least you are now a democracy.

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have two cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have two cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.

AN ARGENTINIAN CORPORATION

You don't have any cows.

But you claim sovereignty over the ones belonging to your neighbour 

 

Comments
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Thanks

Democratus |
Democratus's picture

The Gordon Brown Corporation

memyself-eye |
memyself-eye's picture

Cows

HUGH W DUNLOP |