I saw a piece in the Times today about Doctors. The article listed about a dozen things that patients do and say which wind up their local GP. It then went on to explain why each of these (very common) behaviours was a wind up, what you can do to seem more reasonable and also how you can exacerbate the situation.
What do clients do/say that winds you up?
Mark Lee
Tax Advice Network
Mark Lee
Replies (25)
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Not an accountant but....
Best one I have seen was the BUILDER husband of my then boss going on record in the daily mail, complaining that they could not afford child care and in the next para saying he had only earnt £50k that year.
I mean, seriously... whoever heard of a builder (the original cash in hand man) declaring his earnings in the national press!
Even better, you can imagine the gormless look on his face when the VAT man came a knocking!
Late PAYE Returns
".... I didn't know that I had to submit an annual return since I took on my new employee 2 years ago....." (Recent client recommended to us by Accountant)
"..... I am paying the pension monthly so I thought it was all up to date..." ( recent client who had not submitted their NHS pension annual return for the past 10 years,)
Straight from my dad
He started self employment, registered for VAT. Several months later he complained to me he had a VAT bill.
I had to patiently explain that 17.5% of the money he was taking in was not in fact his and the fact he had spent it was akin to HMRC deciding to throw a party with our taxes rather than pass them on to the Government.
Wind you up or crack you up?
How about asking a client for details of income for his tax return - "it's the same as last year". Nice try, but I think not.
"I won't have to pay tax on the rent, because it all goes to pay off the mortgage" Err, not quite right.
Or the subcontractor who didn't like the tax bill, so sent in a copy of "his" expenses claim from the year before. The one with "T BLOGGS" altered (in biro!) to "C BLOGGS" and with hotel and subsistence expenses when he told me that he'd been working locally all year!
Or the standard question "If I've made that much money, where's it all gone" Answer: "You've spent it, sunshine"
How many times have you had a client complain on 20th January that it's not enough notice of his tax bill, when he didn't bring the records in until just before you shut down for Christmas, or even later?
And of course there's always the ones who complain about their company tax bill because they've got to pay back half of the savings from monthly PAYE when they switched to dividends. 21 monthly savings are completely forgotten.
Finally, when you advise somebody to delay VAT registration until they reach the threshold, saving output tax on £60k, and they whinge because they won't be able to claim the VAT on 10% of that in terms of inputs.
It only winds you up if you let it!
Laughing out loud
I thought it was only me that had these clients! Two days ago I had a client who's van was broken into, and his paperwork stolen.
When I taught at college, one lad had his homework stolen from his car !
I'm going to print out all the comments in this thread and pin it on the wall for clients to see.
Thanks for posing the question Mark.
I've checked my tax return and it's wrong...
...the profit figure on the accounts isn't the same as the taxable profits figure on the tax return.
Same bloke, same thing every year.
Clients response to advice on tax liabilities
'How much?!!'
Reply 'You are a victim of your own sucess!'
Commission
How about when they blame you for their tax bill, and you cannot be doing your job properly.
Answer
I am on commission with the Inland Revenue!!!!!!!!!!
It's what they say and what they do
"It shouldn't be much work"
"It's pretty easy, I can get a junior to do that"
One thing that used to frustrate me a little, but it wasn't what they said - new business clients that without even seeing a profit have the new cars for themselves, the partner, manager... getting top of the line branded laptops... and then expecting the accountant to wave the wand to keep the cash flow comfortable and show a profit!
David Toohey
The Accountants Circle
Excel Accounting Tools | Wholesale Support Services
Annoying clients
My bank manager reckons "buy to let" is a great idea and he knows a firm of Accountants who will give him cracking advice on it!!
Shredded Bank Statements
You can't have our bank statements we have shredded them. It said on the news that the police wanted everyone to shred their bank statements to avoid ID theft
Wind upS
1. Chasing payment and told "can't you afford to put petrol in your car now"
2. CTA, Can you do tax returns?
3. Income all on the bank statements, no invoices and missing bank statements.
4, Ignoring repeated requests for further information.
5. Thinking they are the only client and you must immediately remember everything.
6. And of course all the pub ones, must go there for futher CPD points.
Mary W
Its not what they say that winds me up ...
its sitting in their lounge on the leather sofa, watching TV on the 42' plasma screen sitting on the newly laminated floor and catching a reflection of the shiny BMW X5 on the drive ..... and still hearing moans about the tax bill!!!!
How about
"Can you give me a quote - my books are staright forward, there's not a lot to them"
or
"Wow that's a lot less than I'm currently paying my accountant"
(at which point you start to ask - why? What have I missed? - or doh!!)
Wind ups
"Well whose side are you on? I'm the one paying you!"
"How can I have made such much profit when I've no money left in the bank"
"My son has been onto the HMRC web site and......."
" Can't answer that.. or that...or that - the wife does all the bookkepping stuff and she's not well at the moment"
"How was I supposed to know...(pick any one of 100's of mis-accountings).. it's your fault for not warning me."
"My mate in the pub knows someone whose uncle-in-law reckons that I'm being overcharged"
"I will be able to pay you once someone has paid me."
Always said AFTER you have completed their accounts.
One last week
Heard last week (when I told a client that his tax bill was in the vicinity of £5k) "what, my mate's tax bill was only £3k"
He's even bringing in his mate's accounts to see whether there's anything we can also claim for him - as soon as I get paid, I'm sacking this one.
CIS subby saying....
What do you mean I have got to pay tax, I was expecting a large refund.
My mate down the pub.....
.....earns the same mini cab income as me but HE doesn't pay any tax at all.
Agree with EL and would add
1) "I rang the Revenue and they said...."
2) " a friend in the pub said that he's certain that"
Lots!
1. I just popped everything in this carrier bag here - I knew you could sort it all out for me.
2. Don't worry, it will be with you by the end of the week. (Deadline is the following Monday).
3. My friend's accountant says.....
4. I need a mortgage reference - you will make the figures look good for me won't you.
5. I've put the cost of the new extension through, as I do make coffee in the new kitchen while I am working from home.