October 31 – A long weekend and then I met the Chair for breakfast this morning.
We discussed last week’s board meeting and he was clearly pleased but I had to admit to the fact that over the weekend I had made myself come to terms with something that some who read this may have realised for some time, even though I have not.
Candidly, I’m bored.
That might seem to be a remarkably frank admission but as a mater of fact it seems to be true. I am working hard. I am seeking to deliver. But as is obvious, much of that is seeking to hold on to what we have got. And after eight years here I am now all too often dealing with sorting out situations that were all of my own making, however well intentioned, last time round, and there is something really rather odd about that.
I am not sure why I realised this over the weekend. It just occurred to me. And once it had it was obviously true.
Of course, I have to some extent been here before. I tried to buy this company in 2008 and the banking collapse in the autumn of that year ended that. Then I was a non-exec director, but problems here and the fact that (if I’m honest) I was not making the headway I wanted ended that.
So I’m here, doing what I’ve done.
And I’m coming on for 50 and am wondering whether this is it for life? If so, what? Can I do that?
I really don’t know. And I took the risk of sharing that with the Chair this morning. Maybe that’s rash – but he’s there to be my sounding board and I use him as such.
We’ve agreed to meet again soon. I need to work this one through.