M & S opens a bank - RBS to sell underwear ? | AccountingWEB

M & S opens a bank - RBS to sell underwear ?

Here's a conundrum for the stratgy wonks and CFOs at the high street banks. Somebody with a big presence, a loyal customer base and a very strong brand has parked their tanks on your lawn. One option is to meet force with force , including sellign of their products in your outlets. Will RBS and its fellow banks start flogging socks and pants in their branches ? Hmmm, I am unsure if they have enough floor space for a full range , although a lengthy queue is a captive audience and surely there's more to be done than advertising loans nobody can afford , rip-off mortgages and pensions that are duff.

If you were the Financial Direcotr of a bank how would you maximise the return on floor space in a bank to compete with the new challenge that is slicing your cake ever thinner ?


Derivatives ...

JC | | Permalink

The RBS response should be to cobble together a package of underpants, bras, socks etc. under one basket and call it a derivative

The resulting derivative could then be traded in the market and it is win/win all round - bank makes money and customers lose it - result!

The bank doesn't really need the floor space because it is a virtual basket of underwear and nobody actually ever takes delivery so this space remains free for other businesses

Use this floor space for 'pop up' businesses that come into vogue and then vanish such as Bank Mis-selling PPI Claims, Accident Advice Claims

Or better still Wonga etc. - after all the banks are not lending so you could straight from your managers loan refusal to a payday loan in the same building

Flying Scotsman's picture


Flying Scotsman | | Permalink

What a brilliant reply . You are clearly wasted as a beancounter The problems begin when the undergarments and smalls develop  a hole .

No doubt by then the socks will be owned by a brace of pension funds who thought they had

purchased the actual wire shopping basket (in the hope that the price of steel would rise steeply)

and not the contents 

Bank could sell insurance to cover ....

JC | | Permalink

any holes that appear under a 'Derivative Repair Package'

but with an exclusion that any holes appearing from use cannot be claimed because after all it is part of a financial instrument and not really to be used - just traded

All of which could be rated as AAA by Moodies just to provide assurances that everything was in order - like the last time around

Thinking about the insurance aspect perhaps there is scope to expand this - Soc Gen & JP Morgan probably have a use for this type of cover right now with a catchy little phrase like

The underpants derivative to afford cover and not leave you naked/exposed

Flying Scotsman's picture


Flying Scotsman | | Permalink

Slightly confused over this please can you elaborate - I tried the first link in your posting but it did not work .


Admin removed posting & user ...

JC | | Permalink

@Flying Scotsman

Think Aweb has intervened and removed the spam comment, which is why the post does not relate to anything

Essentially there was a user named @Robin Theakston who posted a spam message to drive people to his site

The message has been removed and so has the user - presumably by admin

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