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Where and when to draw the line?

22nd Sep 2011
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I had my first meeting with a new client today. He had agreed to become my client over the phone.

It was hell. He started to talk about all his problems as if I was his psychological counsellor. He just would not stop. It says more about me, in that I did not know how to stop him and move on.

I need to draw the line and not let a client move on and talk about their personal issues. The question is where and when to draw the line. This is so difficult.

The meeting went on for about an hour and half. I kept saying to myself when will he stop, I went to get on my work! I pretended to listen and went into my own world of my todo lists, increasing fee level, marketing, my weight, and so on.

Finally I just got up from my chair, this I think gave a clear message this meeting is over now.

How do you handle people like these?

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Replies (7)

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By MarionMorrison
22nd Sep 2011 21:07

With patience

Some people are looking for someone to listen to their problems and if you can be (or seem to be) a good listener, then you'll get more recommendations.  Just so long as you don't get too much time that's unchargeable, just smile and no understandingly.  Or treat them the same and start talking about your issues.  

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By petersaxton
22nd Sep 2011 23:31

Offer advice

What's wrong with listening to his problems and offering advice?

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By BillyBob
23rd Sep 2011 08:13

Like Peter says

Offer advice - they may not take it but it shows you're listening, implies you're caring and makes you stand out from the rest. Not sure how you can use it as a strapline - 'we also sort out life's little troubles for you, providing a full life service' maybe?!

Admittedly if you get it repeatedly you need to build it into the fee or find a way to reduce it but it's a good way to bond. Plus it gives you an excuse to make contact from time to time - a quick email 'just wondered how you were doing after your girlfriend dumped you for a man half your height and twice your age' or whatever. It may not be 'here's a handy article relating to your business' but I bet they'd appreciate it more!

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By Monty Python
25th Sep 2011 22:59

Look at it another way -

- if the client has a problem that's distracting them so much that they want to talk to you about it instead of their taxes, business etc, then you can be sure that the problem is also distracting them from running their business to it's full potential.  Look on it as a warning sign that the business could be heading for the rocks.

 

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By User deleted
26th Sep 2011 08:27

BillyBob is correct

At a first meeting, nothing wrong with getting to know your client and his background. Of course, it may well reveal issues that cause you concern (though I don't agree that a business not being run to its full potential is necessarily "heading for the rocks". Not charging for work, for instance, means that a business is not being run to its full potential, but I don't imagine for a second that this does the business any harm. But we all have distractions [comment moderated - inflammatory content removed]. Distraction, it seems, is not in itself a bad thing.

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By User deleted
26th Sep 2011 10:00

Distractions - work or personal

I'd agree with BKD that sometimes work distractions are not a problem and can beneficial - some people really thrive on having multiple tasks on the go and would struggle if they just had one priority, I'm much better dealing with one at a time (though don't mind an tidy list to follow on as it can focus me on the job in hand).

Personal distractions? Maybe more of a problem but again I've known a few individuals who thrive on having a constant crisis / drama. (Please note I'm referring to people outside AWeb!) They still get their normal lives done but it's with a soap opera attached. You need to be careful not to get sucked into those though FT - it can be very draining when you've had the same drama several times - Groundhog Day without learning to play the piano or get the girl! If it's a one-off from them then I'd go with the previous advice and listen - brownie points count regardless of the subject and it demonstrates great people skills which some clients will want.

You never know, you might be able to open another office just for psychotherapy sessions - there's good money in that too, especially if you can get referrals from private consultants :) 

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By rhewitt296
26th Sep 2011 16:32

A suggestion...

Why not re-train and also become a self employed therapist and charge them double?

Just a suggestion to earn a bit of extra money on the side.

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