Youngest runs off!

Last weekend I had the biggest scare of my life. If being a mum was a job, I would have happily quit last week.

We went to a family friendly pub over the weekend and met up with some friends for a house warming and baby shower and general catch up. As we were leaving, I put the girls coat on. I put the youngest one on first and she was ready, I gave the oldest one her coat and shoes to put on by herself and then I turned round to put on my coat. I turn back and the youngest has disappeared. Everyone is busy getting their coats on and saying their goodbyes to everyone and I’m looking to see if the younger one is playing with someone or gone to the play area and I can’t see her anywhere. My older daughter is still putting her coat and chatting to her friend. I start asking my friends if they have seen her, which no one has. I’m walking up and down the pub, I check the toilets, well only the ladies as I didn’t take her to the men’s. I can’t see her outside and I’ve now got the staff looking too. There’s a Santa’s grotto room which was slightly open but she’s not there. I’m holding my older daughter’s hand and panicking now and phoning my husband to say I can’t find her and just then one of the staff brings her out of the men’s toilet. I’m in so much shock, I’m so happy, I want to cry, I want to hug her, I want to shout at her but I give her a big hug and carry her back to the car while still tightly holding the older daughter’s hand. We’re in a pub so it’s not even like some play groups you go to where there’s security and you have to swipe in and out. Anyone could have just picked her up and taken her forever. Usually, she’s not the one to go anywhere without checking that you are following her. She can’t even play hide and seek without giggling and popping out from her hiding spot within minutes. So when I can’t find her, I can’t even imagine what’s happened. Why would I even check in the men’s toilet? From what I can gather she followed another random kid into there and then couldn’t get out.

Those 15 minutes felt like 15 hours of hell. I think I’ve only just got over it. I’m not even sure if I have. It made me question everything about me being a mum. What kind of mum loses their 2 year old daughter? What’s the point of me working from home to be a ‘mum’ if I’m not teaching them anything and looking after them properly? It’s not something that you can tell them once and it’s done. It’s a constant on-going thing that you have to tell them and remind them to do all the time, not just about running off but about everything. I’m so lucky that I have two good(usually), happy, healthy daughters and I am going to step up and do my best by them. One hell of a wake-up call!