OK, I exaggerate a little - but they're getting me all hot and bothered.
Life is tough on the front line of accountancy. For more than five years, our intrepid correspondent has been bringing us news and views from a typical West Country practice.
I'll tell you what I know - every day I get the feeling that I know less and less about more and more!
First it was benchmarking. Apparently, said people like 2020 and AVN, clients are crying out for it!
My recent experience is very much in line with the commentators on the recent article on HMRC's attitude towards Time To Pay arrangements - i.e that despite the Governm
May Day can only mean one thing for many small practices like our's - we're about to get VERY busy.
It has been all over the Internet since Swiss bank UBS AG issued staff with a 43 page tome on the corporate dress code.
We knew this all along, but now scientists have confirmed it: older staff are more productive than their younger colleagues!
Is it just a generational thing, or are people becoming much more familiar these days?
What I mean is, for example, sales people who phone you and immediately think it's OK to address you by your first name. When did that start? Or rather, when did that become acceptable?
At least it has down here in the South West. In fact daffodils are almost finished, spring flowers are fading and the weather has taken on a distinctly summer-like feel - yes, it's raining!
Not much to say, was there? More political posturing and soundbites, but nothing earth shattering.
And nothing to make many of my clients beat a path to my door for urgent tax advice.