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Day fourteen: The storm breaks

7th May 2010
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At 2pm (British Summer Time) in Barry’s office, Jeffery Drum didn’t know what appalled him most - having new neighbours related to a non-equity member of staff, hearing that same lowly wage-serf boldly asking for a pay rise, or the prospect of Cressida Lilywhite making a formal complaint against Silas Horne for use of sexist language.

On sexism, Drum had been on all the right courses: “Not now, Cressida, I’ve got important stuff to do”.

On pay rises, he was a seasoned, wily old negotiator: “Put it in writing, Barry, and post it to Santa Claus”.

On social status he was a walking barometer of class distinction: “I live in Woodstock, Barry. People there are fussy who they rub shoulders with”.

“They’re not”, boomed a distinctive and distinctly unfussy voice. “If you live in my street you’re common as muck. Where’s Barry Abacus? I want to shake his hand and apologise to him”.

Barry gasped; in a blur of unreality he shook Charlie Tams’ hand.

“Your brother-in-law just called me. It’s brilliant, the TV series, especially as I’m wondering how well I’m really doing. How well am I doing, Jeffery? You’re my advisor.”

Described as common, Drum was puce.

“I suggest Barry’s the man to ask, Charlie...”

But, as Cressida’s exasperation boiled over, Drum was interrupted.

“Excuse me”, she said, “if I can’t get anything done about Silas, I’m taking matters further. I’m going to the institute”.

“Yikes where’s Coach Carol when you need her?” intoned Barry.

Just then, one of the receptionists popped her head round the door.

“Jeffery”, she trilled, “there’s a Mr Chowdhury on the phone. He says he’s calling from a railway train in the Himalayas about the advertisement in The Times of India. What advertisement would that be?”

“That would be the advertisement Jeffery asked me to put in the paper”, Cressida offered helpfully. “But they’re not supposed to phone here; I gave them a number in India. Or I think I did....”

Barry grinned stupidly; that advertisement...

The room filled with silence and, as Jeffery stopped making shushing gestures at Cressida, stillness.

“Why always India?” Charlie Tams wanted to know. “Tabby goes on about India non-stop just now. I...”

Charlie Tams looked squarely at Jeffery Drum and pointed a burly burger van master’s finger.

“What’s going on, Jeffery?” he asked.

Find out the answer next week.

 

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