Day nine: The greasy pole

Barry had lost count of the days Silas spent out of the office, on courses in particular.

“How do people get to run them?” Silas asked on returning to work. “Mr Jobsworth’s same old insights into the glaringly obvious. As usual, I was able to tell them everything they needed to know. You should try one, Cressida; even you might know something they don’t”.

Cressida, still frothing with career-pathway aspiration, failed to spot the barb.

“I see Silas and me competing for the top jobs”, she gushed.

“Yeah, but you’ll bounce off the glass ceiling”, Silas retorted. “Especially if you’re married - definitely if you have kids”.

Barry coughed loudly, his way of signalling off limits.

“Ah, but it’s not what you know, Silas, it’s who you know!” Cressida hoped she was being mysterious.

“Oh, yeah, Tabby Tams, I’d almost forgotten”, said Silas wearily. “I’m so scared”.

“Any light in your tunnel?” I asked Barry later.

Barry had spoken with Erin; this was progress. However, while Barry was worried and perplexed by Clarice’s reading, Erin was taking it in her stride. Drum’s reference to Rajkot, she assumed, must be a reference to Indian call centres, and she thought ‘wait and see’ was the best policy. She had not, however, reacted as Barry hoped when he told her Cressida seemed to want his job. “So does Silas,” she said.

“He’ll want to talk to you as soon as Cressida does,” I confirmed. His face fell.

“They’ll walk all over me, won’t they? They want me out, don’t they? They think I’m useless, always saying and doing the wrong things, don’t they?”

As Barry crumbled, I tried to unravel the various ‘theys’ in my mind. ‘Self-knowledge is the beginning of wisdom’, I considered but thought better of it. How could I explain that every firm has a Barry - whipping boy, scapegoat, fall guy, stooge - and every Barry is indispensable? I decided instead to explore his faulty thinking.

“Barry, I don’t think I’ve ever heard such a full demonstration of faulty thinking in barely one short sentence - gross generalisation, limiting beliefs, mind-reading and mass distortion – all neatly packed into a diatribe of less than 30 words. We need a full session on this.  Let’s call it ‘new perspectives’.  Say 4 o’clock?”

“So I’m safe because I’m hopeless?” Barry concluded from our discussion.

Just then, the secretary popped in to say that Erin wanted Barry to call her back. “I expect she wants a divorce,” groaned Barry.

Given the impression I’m forming of Erin, if she called about a divorce it would be to tell him it had already happened.

There can’t be any way back from this. Don’t miss next week!