Day ten: There’s no ‘I’ in team

My most recent coaching session with Barry raised yet more puzzling questions. He appeared to be unravelling before me and there didn’t seem to be much I could do to pull him together at first.

“They’ll walk all over me, won’t they? They want me out, don’t they? They think I’m useless, always saying and doing the wrong things, don’t they?”

That was Barry. That was the rhetoric that generated this coaching session. I thought I’d start by getting to the bottom of all these ‘theys’. “Tell me, Barry, what makes you think Silas and Cressida want you out?”
“Not Cressida and Silas, Drumsie wants me out”.

 “Ok. Let’s talk about Jeffrey first. What evidence do you have that Jeffrey rates you?”

Barry’s mouth shut. I didn’t mean to wrong foot him but turning around the question had clearly taken him by surprise.

“He always puts me on his jobs - but that’s only because I never say no”.

“What else?”

“Well, I’m still here after 12 years”.

“Good. Dig deeper”.

Once he’d started, there was no stopping him. They kept on flowing: responsibilities, authority, autonomy, decision making, bigger mandates, promotions. Barry’s demeanour, his whole physiology, transformed. Talk about a walking, talking Smile File*! Ok, so there was precious little direct verbal acknowledgement, but actions do indeed speak louder than words.

“So how does Jeffrey getting rid of you square with all of that?” I asked him.

“Well, it would all fall apart without me,” he quipped. “But everyone’s replaceable, aren’t they? Silas and Cressida would take my job like a shot”.

I asked him what he thought Silas’ strengths were, speaking as his line manager.

“He’s got the gift of the gab, he’s always in the right place at the right time, and he knows the ropes on networking but doesn’t go the extra mile. He’s a bit of a loose cannon, really”.

Still reeling from the mass of idioms, I ventured “And how do these qualities equip him for your job?”

“Well... If I had the gift of the gab I’d be able to make a better case to Drumsie and I wouldn’t keep get trodden all over”.

“Good. Let’s mark that one up as one of your development areas – assertiveness”.

Barry quickly came back with, “And Silas is so unflappable. Look at how he was with the Tams’ return”.

“Unflappable? How would that help him do your job?”

“Well, he wouldn’t worry or panic like I do, but sometimes he is a bit too laid back - no sense of urgency, prefers to talk himself out of a situation rather than do any work”.

“Knows when to pass the buck,” I offered, drily.

“Actually Silas would be useless at my job. I’m the one who gets things done around here”. It was a breakthrough moment for Barry, I felt.

“What role would play to Silas’ strengths?” I wondered aloud.

Before we could get any further, Barry’s mobile phone burst into a cacophony of brass band. “Sorry, I’ve got to go – it’s Erin calling”.

Our exploration of Cressida-shaped career pathways would have to wait until next time.

Is Barry finally starting to get his mojo back? Are Silas and Cressida actually after his job? Find out next week.

* A Smile File or Success Journal promotes a more balanced view of the world. Recognising positives and successes moves an individual away from unproductive ‘all or nothing’ thinking.