Astrology | AccountingWEB


Does anyone believe in it? (I don't). But in particular, does anyone think that their star sign influences us, as accountants and tax advisers, in the nature of the advice that we give to clients? Does one star sign make us a little more cautious, another more aggressive in tax-planning etc?

Paul Scholes's picture


Paul Scholes | | Permalink

No to both questians........apart from Libra males (I think, or was it Gemini, no Libra....I think)

Constantly Confused's picture

Courtesy of Weird Al

Constantly Confused | | Permalink

"Your Horoscope For Today"

There's travel in your future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus
Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-Mole seventeen hours a day

Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what those idiots at work say

The look on your face will be priceless when you find that forty pound watermelon in your colon
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a hickey to Meryl Streep

You will never find true happiness - what you gonna do, cry about it?
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch of stuff, and then go back to sleep

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your explosive flatulence
Your love life will run into trouble when your fiance hurls a javelin through your chest

The position of Jupiter says you should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while taking your driver's test

Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and staple it to your boss's face, oh no
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it down with a gallon of strawberry Quik

All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent - except for you
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with your head impaled upon a stick

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least a bit unlikely
that the relative position of the planets and the stars could have
a special deep significance or meaning that exclusively applies to only you,
but let me give you my assurance that these forecasts and predictions
are all based on solid, scientific, documented evidence, so you would have
to be some kind of moron not to realize that every single one of them is absolutely true.

Where was I?

A big promotion is just around the corner for someone much more talented that you
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that when your appendix bursts next week

Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall screaming from an open window
Work a little harder on improving your low self-esteem, you stupid freak

All your friends are laughing behind your back (kill them)
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine you've got hanging in your den

The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person, but you know they're lying
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never never never never never leave my house again

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today

That's your horoscope for today (that's your horoscope for today)
That's your horoscope for today
That's your horoscope for today (yay yay yay yay yay)
That's your horoscope for today

Democratus's picture

load of tosh.

Democratus | | Permalink

Not much more to say really

Old Greying Accountant's picture

I don't believe in the prediction tosh ...

Old Greying Acc... | | Permalink

... but I do think there is some credibility in the personality traits, but I feel that may have more to do with the time of year you are born rather than what the various suns and planets are doing.

Unfortunately I seem to be surrounded by a disproportionate amount of Arieans, which as a Taurus is not good! The main problem being that an Ariean always thinks he/she is right, and of course a Taurean knows he/she is!

Constantly Confused's picture


Constantly Confused | | Permalink

Being a Pisces explains a lot about me, given I am two fish swimming in opposite directions no wonder I am ditzy.

ShirleyM's picture

I'm a Leo

ShirleyM | | Permalink

... and like all the other signs, Leo has good parts and bad parts!

Lord Lucan's picture

According to the "experts" ..............

Lord Lucan | | Permalink

..... those who are not either Taurus or Capricorn should immediately give away their clients, rip up their diplomas, and get a new job.  Of course, you could just decide it's a load of round bouncy things instead...............................................................................................................................      Aries (March 21-April 19)
You are enthusiastic, alert, outspoken, ambitious, strong-willed and creative. A career in television or radio, advertising or architecture would be ideal for your ambitious and creative nature. Because you are a strong, natural leader, the army or police force would suit you well.


Taurus (April 20-May 20)
A Taurean is practical, methodical, determined, patient, honest, dependable and a good team player. Look to the fields of banking, accounting and scientific research for your perfect job.


Gemini (May 21-June 21)
You are very optimistic, inquisitive, intelligent and full of energy. You need a vocation that holds your interest piqued and keeps you going, such as a travel guide, cabin crew or a sales position where travel is required.


Cancer (June 22-July 22)
Cancerians are imaginative, dramatic, philosophical, nurturing and protective. You're best at dispensing advice, so consider law, psychology, teaching, nursing or social work for your life calling.


Leo (July 23-Aug. 22)
You are spontaneous, gregarious, independent and born to lead, with a true lust for power. These magnetic qualities make Leos good CEOs, managers, editors and perfect for government positions.


Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22)
Precise, witty, cheerful, perfectionist, attentive to detail, hard-working and tidy, with a knack for languages - all describe you. Technician, statistician, medical researcher, investigator or translator are perfect career options for Virgos.


Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 22)
Librans are very diplomatic, charming, sociable, easy-going and cooperative. Your sense of cooperation and ability to engineer a compromise mean you would do well in the diplomatic service or as a lawyer, mediator, negotiator or administrator.


Scorpio (Oct. 23-Nov. 21)
You are penetratingly intuitive, intelligent, analytical, hard working, motivated and resourceful. Because you like to solve mysteries, consider police investigation, law, physics, research and writing.


Sagittarius (Nov. 11-Dec. 21)
Sagittarians have a positive attitude, boundless energy, love of travel and a strong spiritual side. A sales position would be ideal, as would public relations or social administration.


Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19)
You are rock-solid, dependable, responsible, highly organised, goal-oriented, logical and clever. You thrive in positions of power or any job where maths or money are involved. Consider an IT position because you love software and computers. You are also well-suited for being a doctor, accountant or lawyer.


Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18)
Intelligent, original, progressive, humanitarian and visionary are all qualities that describe Aquarians. Choose a job in aviation, design or music.


Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20)
Pisceans are generous, friendly, sensitive, popular, artistic, versatile, compassionate and spiritual. You will do well in any of the arts: drama, literature, painting, music, but your compassion also makes you well-suited as a charity fundraiser or social worker or in health care. 

A Leo, Shirley?

BKD | | Permalink

Perhaps that's why we share a common "interest" ;)


accountright | | Permalink

My star sign is Libra - well balanced person -chip on both sholders!


It's my birthday tomorrow and I am taking a day off - It's what I term as an "O" dear birthday as it has an zero on the end!



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