Expenses claims

Childrens clothing and ladies lingerie was put through the books by a male client of ours. The reason given by our client was ... 'I just thought I'd see if they could be claimed!

All new clients are advised by us that if they are unsure whether something is a business expense to include it anyway, but to highlight it, or create a special heading. I am unsure why he thought these costs may have been a business expense, though!

Claiming a lot of petrol receipts when they have a diesel van, or vice versa!

who is an author. Expenses for massages, prostitutes etc.

General chit chat "what book is that for then". "Oh I haven't written it yet but I might in the future".

I have a well known author, too, but he doesn't make any expense claims like that ... but  .... my clients wife prepares his records ;)

training I had a second job working evenings in a pub. The publican was a manager and he reckoned the only thing that he couldn't claim for was toothpaste. That was in the sixties though.

I remember we were one of the first whitbread pubs to have draught lager. I really don't know why I said that cos it's got nothing to do with the thread. Perhaps it's the sun shining on me and the thought of the end of the eurozone is nigh. I think it's high time DC invited UKIP into the coalition.

I remember a client he was so busy giving us all receipts of all kind of expenses that once a £50 note was also given to us

of us go back to the days of the green shield stamps. Not as good as a £50 note though.

A drag queen vetriloquist would be able to claim these!

I trust those finding money and vouchers in clients books either return them or make an MLR report on themselves!

When I was with the Inland Revenue (I was very young - I knew no better!!), one of the inspectors uncovered a dodgy fuel claim - for an insurance salesman who eventually admitted to visiting all his customers by bike - he didn't even have a car!

He'd have gotten away with it too of it wasn't for those pesky kids and that damn dog - oops, sorry, been watching too much Scooby Doo with my son.

What I meant to say was, he'd have got away with it too if the Inspector hadn't happened to know the area he was working very well and wondered why his mileage was so high so started asking to see the service records, MOT certificate etc to check the mileage!

Cathy

my first wife started out in the local tax office. She used to say that they all had a good time, laugh and giggle but got through loads of work.

I wasn't knocking it John - I was making a joke! That's the problem with written communications.

I enjoyed my time with IR and they trained me very well. But some of them certainly didn't work very hard when I was there - not compared to when I joined an accountancy practice. That's part of why I left - I was working hard (having been brought up that way) and earning less than people who didn't do much work but got paid more becuase they were older than me!

Cathy 

for you. You can be a useless twot (as my sister would say) and still earn loads and get promoted.

We've just published an article about how 13 December is Expenses Day, according to software supplier Concur, because it's when it processes the highest volume of claims.

Thanks for helping to add some extra colour to the story!