NIGGLES

Tailgating

What for???? – achieves nothing. I have more respect for an ant than I do for tailgating drivers.

Politicians, Business leaders, Quango heads, Bankers etc….

Don’t people get it? These are all one and the same people. Part of a club. Look after each other. Those that make decisions about stuff (e.g Olympics!!) are cohorting with the big PLCs that win contracts etc. ITS ALL A SCAM.
What has happened about the expenses – nothing! Nuff said about that one.

Barbecues!

The whole nation seems to be hung up on 'having a barbecue'.
Its not the country for it, its not the weather for it and its not suitable here.
Stop trying to be laid back Aussies – you’re not. You’re uptight Brits. Live with it.
I loath the way the media go on about barbecues. I loath the way Supermarkets try to market the UK as an outdoor barbecue type of place . ITS NOT.
Nothing worse than people cooking cheap meat with smoke wafting all over the place and shouting (drunk) like they have never seen sun before.
This usually peaks during the six days of sun per year we have.
Youve fallen for the marketing hype suckers

People over 30 who have dinner with ‘friends’.

Friends, friends – what the f**** is that all about! Most people over 30 are uptight, competitive and insecure and don’t have space or time for ‘friends’. They pretend they have a ‘social life’ because they’re frightened of their own company. Twisted failures.
This dinner/barbecue nonsense is cooked up by the advertising/media industry to trick you all into buying cr** sofas, dinner sets, barbecues etc.. ……to show off at how ‘successful/popular’ you are!
Just look at the way these people drive – then look at them smiling with their ‘wine’ and ‘barbecues’ and ‘friends’ – don’t add up.

Comments
Becky Midgley's picture

Brilliant

Becky Midgley | | Permalink

What a rant! Do you feel better now? Because I certainly do - I loved your post! Brought a tear to my eye that did.

Might I suggest you would get a lot out of a certain comic Modern Toss? Right up your street I think, particularly the sketch 'Drive-by Abuser'. You will have to watch the language, although I would hazard a guess you like a good swear yourself in the appropriate moments?

Can I add one other thing? Drivers who don't indicate... let the floodgates be declared, officially open.

Swedish Chef's picture

And also.....

Swedish Chef | | Permalink

CLODs!

That's Centre Lane-Only Drivers.

DeborahLesley's picture

Oooooohhhh

DeborahLesley | | Permalink

And what about the drivers you give way to and as they go past they look straight ahead without even having the courtesy to put their hand up to say thankyou. Ignorant sods!!!

And the boy racers who block your entrance/exit at a junction and when you look at them in disdain, they have the bloody cheek to give you a two finger salute as if its your fault!!! And you dont get off lightly girls, you are just as bad.

And (changing tack slightly), pensioners and mum's with buggy's containing screaming, undisciplined kids who block the queues in the shops between 1pm and 2pm when I only have 1 hour to get my bits and pieces. Grrrr

Swedish Chef's picture

Queueing

Swedish Chef | | Permalink

In fact, it's not queueing per se, I'm a patient chap.

It's those times when you've been standing there for a few minutes, and the woman in front of you is buying only one thing, which they know costs 75p, yet waits until the bod behind the till asks them for the money before actually opening their bag, getting out their purse and rifling through all the bits of small change to come up with the 75p they owe.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH GETTING THE MONEY READY WHILE YOU'RE WAITING??!!!

Grrrrrr..........

Totally agree with the 1pm to 2pm thing Deborah, - it's always the ones who can go at any time of the day who choose to go in that one hour slot - and they are also the ones you have to listen to moaning about how busy it is!

and another thing!!

mr clean | | Permalink

people .........who have not grasped the concept of waiting a few minutes.....I can accept it from a child.........but when you get to 55 years old and you still dont realise that when you drive to the rubbish dump it pays YOU to wait a few minutes. To wait for the car in front to finish dumping their rubbish. But oh no! Mr t**tface must start doing a 15 point turn and then one again about 2 minutes later when you want to leave - because he cant wait a few minutes. Same in supermarkets, petrol stations etc...

I feel like shouting (like my teacher used to) .....WAIT!!! - But I dont want to end in a public conflict with some retard who really ought not to be here.

Still good to see Darwins theory kicks in now and again and does away with these halfwits. (Dangerous dogs, knifings, shootings, RTAs etc.....)

Democratus's picture

Rant of the week

Democratus | | Permalink

Becky

How come we can't nominate any of these excellent rants for an award?

I certainly enjoyed reading them and am desperately trying to hold in my flow of invective about so many subjects......must hold back.......aaagghh it's so hard.

Another cup of tea might do it.

Holding it all back
D

Lee Tee's picture

Rant of the week

Lee Tee | | Permalink

Gosh - you lot are very grumpy this week. I though this was supposed to be place to post humerous thoughts.

It's Friday - Be happy and put those positive thoughts to good use.
Or just go down the pub at lunchtime.!!!

Becky Midgley's picture

An award scheme

Becky Midgley | | Permalink

Oh it would be so hard to choose a winner!

And I do find this funny, more funny than I should perhaps, but it's good to get these things off your chest, right?

Democratus's picture

Lee

Democratus | | Permalink

Went to the pub - where were you? Everyone else was there enjoying themselves, having a laugh and a strange group in the corner were having biscuits.

There's a pint in the pipes for you when you get there.

Cheers

Lee Tee's picture

Democratus

Lee Tee | | Permalink

You missed me - I was with the group in the corner, testing the biscuits but I think you were looking for a bloke.
I'm definately female so can make mine a white wine please, with a ameratto biscuit on the side.

Democratus's picture

Lee

Democratus | | Permalink

It's my pleasure

How were the biscuits- my self imposed diet doesn't allow them?

Lee Tee's picture

Democratus

Lee Tee | | Permalink

Nor does mine but what the hell - its Friday

Add comment
Log in or register to post comments
Group: Born Dull?! - Accounting humour and fun
A discussion forum for sharing accounting jokes and other lighthearted conversations (keep it clean please!)