C'mon you poets ... give us a sample of your creative talents please. I'm even going to have a go myself!
First, Auntie Becky is the boss, She wields the sword, and calls the toss, No troll shall pass without her knowing, And soon her line they will be toeing.
John Stokdyk is a likeable chap, But sometimes he gives us a slap, John chooses content, makes the rules, And doesn’t treat us all like fools. Rebecca is our strength (in tax), And never can get to relax, We hound her hard to make her see, That we don’t trust HMRC. Our David Winch is guide and mentor, (though really he is no inventor), Facts and figures are his game, To which he proudly puts his name. Poor Albert has a tale of woe, He suffered from a frightful foe, But guts, and friendship, pulled him through, And now he has a future, too. Flash Gordon is the forums hero, Whose enemies are now at zero, Flash can disarm with simple humour, And turn our thoughts away from rumour. Last of all is the resident troll, Who flames and wars, so very droll, The rules are broken every day, But ShirleyM has had her say! Sorry! I couldn't mention everyone, and no offence intended! I've tried to get the formatting to work, and can't, so maybe my idea is a no-go.
Auditors are people too, we’re not nasty and meanNo need for fear and loathing whenever we are seenDon’t hide behind your desk or go and nervously take flightWe’re only there to try to make sure everything’s all rightSo when we do a test it isn’t just because we canIt’s to check your system’s working right all neatly spick and spanWhen we ask awkward questions it’s simply that we careThat your records may be incomplete with not all you need thereWe look for fraud it’s true but hope to find it? We do not!Dealing with fraud just adds more to the work that is our lotYes auditors are lovely with a helpful task to doIt’s only incidental when we make more work for youI hope that now you understand and so, what do you sayWill you fight prejudice and hug an auditor today?
Sorry, not an accounting one, but thinking laterally ...
If you paste and save in word pad first you can get some formatting (a tip I picked up from someone else on here)
Mighty iron giants
Striding hand in hand
Stretching over green fields
Bringing power to the land
Standing tall and silent
Limbs held high aloft
Taking light and heat
To factory farm and croft
Like giant ferrous spiders
Spinning webs galore
To catch the spark of life
And pass it to your door
Strands of humming gossamer
Carrying the means to live
But touch and you’ll be dead
Trees bow down before them
Nothing halts their march
But you may get wayleave
If your demesne they arch
We cannot live without them
Though the sky they blight
Always towering over
Never far from sight
Their current like a river
Flows out from the source
Keeping all mankind alive
A wondrous resource
But sometimes still I ponder
A world without their care
Could we live without them
I wonder if we dare
Love the poems all. Here's one of mine - it's a parody on The Listeners by Walter De La Mare - a little out of date now but what the hell!
Canvassing for Votes
"Is anyone there?" said the CandidateKnocking on the sunlit door;And his driver in the quiet chomped a sandwichAnd listened to Radio 4.A bird flying over passed commentOn top of the Candidate’s head;And he smote upon the door the second time;"Is there anybody there?" he said.But no one came to greet the CandidateNo tweak of the net at the sillNo face to flash his smile atAs he stood perplexed and still.He knew they were in there listeningWaiting for him to be goneThat then they would make a coffeeAnd turn the TV back on.He put his good eye to the letter boxLooking into the empty hall,Hoping they would give up hidingAnd answer him after all.He sensed in his heart they were ToriesAnd wouldn’t give him a vote.But this was the third house runningSo again on the door he smote.And he banged even harder and shouted"Please vote for me instead.I’ve promised reform and new policiesAnd I’ll keep my word" he said.Not a sound did he hear from the listenersThough he knew they heard him speak"Vote Brown – so I can stay Prime MinisterAfter the election next week."And they heard him mutter "Tory Numpties"As he strode off across the lawn,And how the silence surged softly backwardWhen his size ten brogues had gone.
Tried the paste and save in WordPad and it didn't make any difference - any tips on what I'm doing wrong?
I tried Note pad, and that didn't work either.
Come tomorrow (hopefully), we will be able to paste from Word :)
copied to word pad and saved (it saved as an rtf file) then copied and pasted to AW. I'm on Office 2003, may be if you are on one of the new fangled versions they do it differently.
Now I know how Achilles felt after Homer had immortalised him in The Iliad! Although I can't help thinking my Classical Civilisation A-Level would have been more interesting if we'd been studying Shirley's writings instead of Homer's :)
I'm very impressed at the talent on here. Mine sadly is not quite so good but the below is one of my efforts fromwhen I was doing a creative writing course a couple of years back. Just to put it in context I was decorating at the time and felt lousy and overworked.....
Sore throat,Fuzzy head,Feeling lousy,Wanting bed. Pile of paper,Work to do,So little time,So much to do. Painting waiting,Doors and frames,Beware of pussy cats,Wanting games. Tiny paw prints,In wet paint,“No not me Mum,I’m a saint” Innocent look,Big wide eyes,From the hallway,Plaintive cries. Little brother,Looking sad,“It was me,Is Mummy mad?” Early bed,For naughty boys,No evening cuddles,No play with toys. Bed for all,Work will keep,All tucked up,And fast asleep.
And despite looking fine on preview once its posted the formatting goes!
We could all email our poems to OGA, and OGA can format them and paste into AWeb for us ......
.... or we can wait for the new super duper AWeb where we can paste from Word :)
... for a small fee of course!
BTW, will we get proper smilies tomorrow?
... the cheek of Old Nick.
You write a poem mentioning all the AW contributors, bar one, then expect that one to format your poems for you!
I thought you enjoyed helping your fellow AWeb members OGA ;)
I am sorry to inform you that your formatting skills may be redundant after today, if the new AWeb is on schedule.
It seems I have also started a brand new problem by being discriminatory with my poem (if it can be descibed as such ... I would be really chuffed if it was). Should I change career? ;)
I don't what the problem is, took less than a minute to do this for you! May be the problem was with the operators, not the software, what was that about tools and workmen?
First, Auntie Becky is the boss,
She wields the sword, and calls the toss,
No troll shall pass without her knowing,
And soon her line they will be toeing.
John Stokdyk is a likeable chap,
But sometimes he gives us a slap,
John chooses content, makes the rules,
And doesn’t treat us all like fools.
Rebecca is our strength (in tax),
And never can get to relax,
We hound her hard to make her see,
That we don’t trust HMRC.
Our David Winch is guide and mentor,
(though really he is no inventor),
Facts and figures are his game,
To which he proudly puts his name.
Poor Albert has a tale of woe,
He suffered from a frightful foe,
But guts, and friendship, pulled him through,
And now he has a future, too.
Flash Gordon is the forums hero,
Whose enemies are now at zero,
Flash can disarm with simple humour,
And turn our thoughts away from rumour.
Last of all is the resident troll,
Who flames and wars, so very droll,
The rules are broken every day,
But ShirleyM has had her say!
That's great :)
Thanks, OGA :)
I can feel a 'poem' coming up to repay my debt ( ...... it is cheaper than paying a bill!)
PS. Oh dear! I admit I am hopeless at formatting. Please feel free to mercilessly slag me off at every opportunity (I have a new hobby .... I am collecting some of the more 'colourful' descriptions of me ... it's quite good fun!) :)
I came a bit late to this formatting party, thanks to OGA for sorting it out.
I fancy myself as a bit of a poet actually. All a bit too sombre and serious for these pages though I reckon! I also used to write songs for my band (many moons ago).
I was always very precious about my writing, felt it a very personal thing and was conscious of people reading/knowing too much about me from my poetry. But, this year, I have taken the plunge, and just last week selected 4 poems for a competition. I don't mind if I don't win, Iit just got the point where I thought I'm sitting on all this writing and perhaps I could do something with it. So we'll see. The winners aren't announced until October so there's a bit of a wait!
(and thanks Shirley for immortalising me in the opening line of your poem, chuffed I am!)
There is lots of hidden talent among AWeb members, as we have seen. I am sure there are many more who are hiding their light!
Give us a sample, Becky, please! We want to share, not criticise.
.... and good luck with the competition, Becky :)
OGA is a ferocious beast
He imagines we're his feast
He glares and scowls from the forum here
And scatters all of us in fear
But what is that? A joke I see?
No! No! Humour it cannot be ...
A wolf in clothing? A sheep in part?
Or just a truly mischievious heart!
You are looking at it from the wrong way ...
My avatar is on look out guarding the pack from Hector and his cronies!
(just sometimes some of the "cubs" need to be kept in line!)
That explains it! You see me (and others) as being one of your cubs?
Protector and disciplinarian! This gets more and more interesting! ;)
There was an Accountant from Ealing
To the tribunal one day was apealing
The Assessment was high
The tribunal said Why?
HMRC went away somewhat reeling.
Don't slag me off too much OGA (time limits)
I say ode but.... Becky had just one objective She was tough yet fair and selective She banned all the trolls And set us up polls And thus kept Aweb free from invective
I'm blushing! I am loving this. Thank you so much for that sweet little ode. You've made an otherwise grey day a lot brighter :)
It's not what you would call cultured but more well intentioned.
Also I had to do something to stop the OGA / Shirley love in!
I didn't know you were a killjoy! ... but the ode was great :)
Maybe I am just not very observant ... but the hobbies thread, this thread, and many others, has made me see lots of people in a whole different light.
... stop dissing my bird!
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