Born Dull?! Big Brother house
They say variety is the spice of life. That is certainly true of the Big Brother house, in which the crazy mix of people makes the series strangely compelling and addictive. The subliminal advertising for the series is already in full swing.
So that got us thinking. If you could put anyone in the big brother house who would it be?
After much consideration and heated debate, the Born Dull?! team came up with their fantasy Big Brother contestants. For our choice read on - but we'd love to hear who you would put in the house.
Who would wind up who?
Continued...
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In the House
How about these candidates?
Patrick -with trainers and suit or beachwear and black shoes and sand and gossip direct from the lurve island
Davina- good call, no more presenting for her ha ha
Dec and Ant -and this time they do all the challenges and the washing up
The House Doctor to boss everyone about and re-arrange the furniture
The Presidents of ICEAW and CAMI to form a housemates club
Mr Tweedle -whose challenge is to explain the importance of changing to IFRS to all of the other housemates so that they understand it
The Man behind the Crazy Frog -who will pay for all the texts sent to the show personally
Flavour- on condition he shuts up all the time except to recite Accounting Standards for Mr Tweddle
Bestie- to keep Pat company and reminisce about drink and women
Cheggers -to scare the ghosts away
Jimmy Fixit armed with a ticking stick to maintain order
Mr Pestcott to entertain everyone about the funniest bits of Hull
Presented by Julian Calry assisted by Terry Wonag on the voting
er That's it,
back to bean counting zzzzzzzzzzz
I nominate Dan Brown
And his house mates should be
(hopefully they between them could provide the answers)
Jesus Christ
no introduction needed
Mary Magdalene
companion of Jesus according to Gnostic Gospels
Jacques de Molay
Grandmaster of Knights Templar at dissolution
Leonardo da Vinci
no introduction needed
I M Pei
architect of Louvre pyramid
Bérenger Saunière
Priest at Rennes-le-Château
Sir William St Clair
founder of Rosslyn chapel
Baigent, Leigh and Lincoln
authors of Holy Blood and Holy Grail
Fantasy World
How about Gordon Brown?
He drafts all his legislation from his present 'unreal world', so being in another fantasy climate should provide him with lots of new convoluted ideas to confuse us with next year!
I nominate George W. Bush...
...this is surely a lot safer than letting him continue to rule the "free" world!
Lowering the tone
I think that there probably isn't much point in putting nice, intelligent, sensible people in there! The good bits aren't the conversations but the rows, the gossip and the bad behaviour!That's what makes big brother.
So just to lower the tone completely how about
Victoria Beckham (bun fight potential)
Rebecca Loos (see above)
Brad Pitt (for the ladies to oggle)
Tom Cruise (as above)
Derren Brown (to play mind tricks on them all)
Jean Christophe Novelli (talented chef in lots of ways!)
Mary Whitehouse (always outspoken)
Robbie Williams (wants to entertain us)
Angelina Jolie (wildchild and only fair for the menfolk to have something to oggle too)
Davina McColl (so that they have to find a different presenter)
lets make things interesting
the press has speculated that this is the year big brother goes european and everyone gets naked and 'gets down'. Hence my choices:
jenna jameson
that famous dwarf pornstar
pamela anderson
borris becker
with a guest appearance from vlad the impaler
i think that would give the secretly perverted british public exactly what they want.
I nominate Ghandi
I would nominate Ghandi, because when you were doing challenges to win more food/supplies, he would be willing to sacrifice his ration for the greater good. Very noble.
the point is missed
we need a fantasy big brother of tedious accounting big cheeses.
i nominate P Wyman (aka Rowan Atkinson - hav they ever been seen 2gether?)
Dim Primarollo.
PCG Presidente
ACCA ch Exec
ICAEW presidente
Sarbanes-Oxley
oh and of course me - to inject some reality using somthing subtle like two fists and some head-banging.
My nomination would be...
....all the behind the scenes people who do work for Channel 4 in the vain hope that we wouldn't have this rubbish inflicted on our society for the whole summer.
Before anyone mentions the off switch or changing channels, the rest of the media will be delighted to jump on the Big Brother bandwagon instead of thinking and working themselves.