Caption competition

Whilst lighting up it suddenly struck Brian that the perfect Christmas present for Jane would, after all be that Philips Ladyshave.

Unfortunately time had not been kind to cousin IT

The agency were supposed to send a couple of wallabies - not wallies!"

oh i like your coat is it mine

Under-cover anti-smoking police make an arrest.

The Spectre of Recession is getting far too cuddly these days.

After years in recluse following Rod's untimely demise, Emu makes a surprise appearance on a mystery man's arm at this year's Fashion Awards.

But I’m only lighting the fag to get rid of that awful smell of damp fur

I just wish I’d vacuumed before playing under my boyfriend’s bed

With temperatures plummeting, the Abominable Wo-man is sighted in London

Actually, the thing I’m most worried about is static electricity

Of course it’s fake fur. You don’t think any animal would be stupid enough to look like this, do you?

Who was that weirdo I saw you photographed with? Yes - the one lighting a fag.

Amy Winehouse regretted using so much Baby Bio