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A new client came to see me today...

Blankety Blank

Ok, its not Friday and there's no Time Out section, so to lighten the mood as we approach 'stressy season' I thought we could play a game of 'Blankety Blank'.

(In my best TW accent)

"A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out a ..."

 

AWeb have promised a Christmas Hamper to the best response - thanks John!

 

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By Briar
14th Nov 2017 16:12

... a smart phone with all their accounting records on!

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14th Nov 2017 16:13

"A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out a ..."

..bottle of water and said "here you go, here are my accounts, downloaded from the cloud"

Sorry..

Thanks (7)
By Ruddles
14th Nov 2017 16:29

"A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out a ..."

... paperclip

That's Amazon packaging for you.

Thanks (2)
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By PD
14th Nov 2017 16:32

....cheque book and pen!

Thanks (1)
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14th Nov 2017 16:45

A refund cheque from HMRC for £0.56 and a floppy disc!...

Thanks (1)
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14th Nov 2017 16:46

Pulled out a 'click here to view more of my records' button?

Thanks (1)
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14th Nov 2017 16:53

250 page print out of the nominal ledger in type 20 font (the only copy!)

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14th Nov 2017 17:03

Another large Jiffybag.
Inside which, was a manilla folder
Inside which was a plastic wallet
inside which was a post-it note saying "put receipts here for 2016/17", and nothing else.

Thanks (1)
14th Nov 2017 17:05

Either that or "a kitten"

#Kittenswinprizes

Thanks (2)
14th Nov 2017 17:11

A 12 inch [***] as he had brought the wrong box.

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By Mr_awol
to Glennzy
16th Nov 2017 10:59

Glennzy wrote:

A 12 inch [***] as he had brought the wrong box.

Why has the swearfilter censored 'record'?

Thanks (1)
By DJKL
14th Nov 2017 17:31

"A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out a time machine" saying,

"remember last year when we had problems discerning when dividends were declared, well........."

Thanks (0)
14th Nov 2017 17:44

...a balaclava so they could ask the question anonymously for free.

Thanks (1)
to stepurhan
15th Nov 2017 09:23

You were fonejacked!

Thanks (0)
14th Nov 2017 17:46

...medium-sized box, from which they pulled out a small box, from which they pulled out a tiny box, which contained the one receipt they had saved (on which the ink had faded).

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By Briar
14th Nov 2017 18:13

... a carrier bag full of scruffy petrol receipts. He had weighed it and written the weight on a stick-on note attached. We compared the weight to the previous year's bills' weight (in our file). It was 10% more, so we added 10% to the motor fuel charged last year!

Thanks (1)
By mrme89
14th Nov 2017 18:18

"A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out a ..."

Last years Christmas present for the kids that was forgotten about in the loft. A dog.

It wouldn’t have been the same if they gave it to the kids this Christmas.

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to mrme89
15th Nov 2017 09:05

Seriously unfunny, especially at this time of year when hundreds of poor little pups and kittens can look forward to being thrown out with the rubbish by new year :-(

Thanks (1)
to slipknot08
15th Nov 2017 12:00

Quite right! A pup or a kitten isn't for Christmas, it's for life!

Unlike a turkey, which isn't for life, it's for Christmas!

Thanks (1)
15th Nov 2017 08:57

A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out a ...royal warrant of appointment which began "Dear Cheapie Accountants, One wishes to do away with tax planning altogether, and receive large tax bills instead. One hereby appoints your firm ..."

Thanks (1)
14th Nov 2017 18:21

. . . large green bird puppet. Its large eyes suddenly burst into life and the beak began to move in time with the client's lips.
"I wish I could fly way up to the sky, but I can't." lamented the puppet/client.
" You can." replied the client, encouragingly.
"I can't." insisted the puppet/client.

Thanks (0)
14th Nov 2017 18:50

barge pole with "for display purposes only" written on it.

Thanks (0)
14th Nov 2017 23:58

...a fox...

(Viz c.1986 ish)

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to Kent accountant
15th Nov 2017 09:06

...a fox, a rabbit, a lettuce, a homeless person, two Syrian refugees, two owls and a hen, four larks and a wren, and a false beard?

Thanks (1)
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By NH
15th Nov 2017 08:49

A big red briefcase and a blank P45

Thanks (2)
15th Nov 2017 10:11

"A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out ..."

BOB HARPER

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to JCresswellTax
15th Nov 2017 10:26

Halloween was a couple of weeks ago. :-)

Thanks (1)
15th Nov 2017 10:25

"A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out a ..."

Volume of Encyclopedia Britannica. Turns out he wasn't a new client, after all. Just a canny salesman.

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15th Nov 2017 11:37

A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out a blood-spattered ledger. In response to my rather quizzical and in truth alarmed look, the client then said "me and the other accountant, we didn't get on like, you know? Do you have a problem with that?".

And that is a good example of a D client.

Thanks (4)
15th Nov 2017 11:50

A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out a set of last year's accounts.

"Much the same this year, you can fill it in yourself" he said.

Thanks (1)
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By stanbu
15th Nov 2017 11:50

5 Gold Rings (for the fees you know, wink, wink)
4 Colly Birds (not much meat on them for Christmas)
3 French Hens (That's better, but still not a Turkey)
2 Turtle Doves (along with the other gifts makes a three bird roast)

And an Enquiry Letter from HMRC

Thanks (0)
15th Nov 2017 12:09

"A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out a ..."

decent Aweb thread.

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By Briar
to Kim Jong Un's Hair
15th Nov 2017 15:43

Wow, that's very valuable these days due to it's rarity!

Thanks (1)
to Briar
15th Nov 2017 20:59

Like hen's teeth

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to Kim Jong Un's Hair
15th Nov 2017 23:00

You mean hens' teeth.

To you it’s easy,
(alto) When you go one, two, three
Bop bop bop bop, bop bop,
(deep base) You mean bow bow bow, bow bow bow, bow bow...

Oh, it don't mean a thing....

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By DJKL
to I'msorryIhaven'taclue
17th Nov 2017 11:00

I'msorryIhaven'taclue wrote:

You mean hens' teeth...

You obviously don't read " The Broons"

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15th Nov 2017 12:20

"A new client came in to see me today, they brought in a large cardboard box, they put their hand inside and pulled out a ..."

Tax Made Simple for Accountants

Thanks (0)
15th Nov 2017 14:05

...a plum, and said "What a good client am I!"

Thanks (1)
15th Nov 2017 14:40

. . . homeless person.

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15th Nov 2017 15:18

The paperwork and also a memory stick, he said "I've done all the work for you so shouldn't take you long"

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to SpreadsheetUser
16th Nov 2017 13:37

Best response.

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15th Nov 2017 15:26

50,000 word dissertation on why accountants are to blame for all the human race's ills. And then asked for a fee reduction.

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15th Nov 2017 16:25

A Christmas Hamper!

Thanks (1)
15th Nov 2017 16:26

...of Europe without making any plans for making a smooth exit.

Thanks (3)
By DJKL
to stepurhan
15th Nov 2017 16:38

Smooth Exit, a new operator in the funeral market.

Thanks (1)
15th Nov 2017 16:27

Digression. Given it was posted by Kent accountant, I originally thought they were speaking in a Tunbridge Wells accent.

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to stepurhan
15th Nov 2017 16:35

Pulled out a digression? You've lost me.

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to andy.partridge
15th Nov 2017 16:58

It's a metaphorical box. The box represents your mind trying to get accounts done and the digression represents threads like these on AWeb.

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to stepurhan
15th Nov 2017 17:27

Got it now.

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to andy.partridge
15th Nov 2017 23:05

Me too, I think. Was it figurative?

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