Share this content
14

Brand New Professional Body - Will It Be Popular?

ACEWITACACCAAIMA (anagram of ACCAAATCIMAICAEW)

Didn't find your answer?

Pssst. Heard about the new professional accounting and tax body - ACEWITACACCAAIMA? - (Yes, accounting and tax rolled up into just the one body!)

It will cost just £100 per annum, fixed for the next 10 years. (Yes, just £100 per annum!!!).

For that you get free, unlimited accounting and tax software which actually works!

You also get free quality CPD accounting and tax seminars at least four times a year within 30 miles of your home address. They will be taken by speakers who actually know what they are talking about.

And finally, they will oversee your AML compliance and training using plain English and without boring the pants off you, all for free.

Just wondering if there will be any takers?

Replies (14)

Please login or register to join the discussion.

.
By Cheshire
30th Apr 2020 17:58

It rolls off the tongue so well and its more letters after my name, so Im in!

Thanks (1)
A Putey FACA
By Arthur Putey
30th Apr 2020 18:27

What will the members' designatory letters be and will they vary in the usual manner, A(ssociate) or F(ellow)

Thanks (1)
Replying to Arthur Putey:
By penelope pitstop
01st May 2020 01:52

Good question.

After considerable discussion, it has been agreed to abandon the traditional Associate/Fellow designation. (Out with the old, in with the new etc.)

Since this new Professional Body is an attempt at root and branch change of the previous obsolete system (which is generally detested by all and sundry up and down this great land) a new system of designating levels of expertise has now been chosen.

Since this is a brand new dawn for the UK accounting and taxation profession, it was decided to adopt an aspect of culture from the land of the rising sun, namely Japan. This aspect of Japanese culture is instantly recognisable in the UK, conjures up in the mind images of ruthless self-discipline, self-control and danger, which are essential qualities of the modern UK accountant.

And the new system will be based on, yes, you have guessed, the various belts of Karate. This will extend from a basic white belt in accounting and tax all the way through to the mystical black belt in these disciplines. The full range of levels is explained below.

I am quite sure that this long-overdue change will be a vast improvement to the current Professional Bodies and their archaic, irrelevant systems which will readily accepted by the majority of right-minded accountants.

The pre-existing system of exorbitant annual fee and software increases coupled with non-existent CPD courses (unless you live on the Isle of Man or Channel Islands) just cannot be allowed to continue.

White Belt

White belt is the very initial level of accounting and tax. It is worn by students who have just learned what a personal tax allowance is and know the difference between an asset and a liability. So, this white belt symbolizes their enthusiasm to learn and their clean slate.

Yellow Belt

Yellow belt awarded to a student when they demonstrate they are actually adopting this learning phase in a fruitful way. It also symbolizes the first beam of sunlight that actually gives new rays and hope every morning. So, this yellow belt gives hope to a learner that they are actually learning and practicing at their best. Failure to understand double-entry bookkeeping means no progress beyond this point.

Orange belt

Orange belt represents that student has further opened up their mind and skills are improving rapidly. Just like when sun rays turn orange give representation of growing strength of sun, orange belt also symbolizes improved confidence in double-entry to the point where errors in accounting can confidently be "swept under the carpet" without much risk of discovery.

Green belt

Green belt represents that a very basic step of tax and accounting has been accomplished successfully. Green belt is awarded to intermediate students who have garnered sufficient skills to embolden them to ask for a pay rise.

Blue Belt

Blue belt represents further improvement and one level up. It is awarded to students who have started learning technical skills and additional knowledge about taxation. Blue colour actually symbolizes that minds and bodies of students are continuously growing, particularly where they spend extended sedentary periods munching crisps and Mars bars attempting to rebalance books from clients who have tried to prepare their own balance sheets, p&l accounts and tax returns using apps on their own mobile phones.

Purple Belt

As purple represents the colour of dawn, so purple belt is awarded to students who have endured a 36-hour marathon session, without sleep, preparing final accounts for a thankless client. Purple belt indicates the student is converting into the advanced stages of learning. They are no longer considered students beyond this point.

Brown Belt

Just like the of ripening seed that is ready for harvest, the brown colour in accounting represents that skills are getting matured and are levelling up to higher expertise. So, brown belt is awarded to accountants who have now realised they will have to suck up to their bosses if they want to be considered as partner material. ("Brown" appears to have some mystical connotation in this context, but its significance quite escapes me).

Red Belt

Just like red colour represents hot strength of the sun, red taxation represents that students have gained more detailed knowledge and they are well aware in discipline of their skills. Red colour also signifies danger, so the accountant who gets awarded with red belt is entrusted with sensitive accounting and tax aspects which, if mishandled, may result in class action against the partnership they work for. Therefore, the tax accountant is considered to be more dangerous in his/her skills and knowledge.

Black belt

Black belt is awarded to individuals who seek to gain deeper and complete understanding of creative accounting and borderline tax avoidance. Many people after receiving black belts are considered to be experts in their domain and pass on their skills to like-minded peers in a mystical setting behind closed doors.

I hope this clarifies matters.

Penelope Pitstop BBIA&T (Black Belt in Accounting and Tax)

Thanks (1)
Replying to penelope pitstop:
.
By Cheshire
01st May 2020 00:14

Brilliant! Now where do we sign?

Cheshire PBIA&T and RBIA&T (just because I like the colours) and grade 8 tap dancing.

Thanks (1)
Replying to Cheshire:
avatar
By legerman
01st May 2020 11:51

Cheshire wrote:

....and grade 8 tap dancing.

I did tap dancing once but I fell off the sink!!

Thanks (1)
Replying to penelope pitstop:
Hallerud at Easter
By DJKL
01st May 2020 10:10

Differentiating using colour is discriminatory and just not appropriate, in fact general grading using a hierarchy seems plain wrong as some accountants will feel slighted; all need to be viewed as equals just with some more equal than others.

Your system also sidelines Man in Pub who may know absolutely nothing about accountancy and tax but is so stupid that this message has yet to percolate his brain, in this proud profession of ours surely he deserves a belt. (I could have used his/her there but was then in danger of sounding like Sean)

I personally think an Institute with more rituals is probably the way to go, for years accountants have had the boring label appended so introducing a few ceremonies with aprons, rolled up trouser legs , dodgy handshakes (that are now a no no ), playing about with goat entrails and taking oaths regarding the mystery of the craft might capture the imagination of youth and lead to accountancy becoming a "fun" profession.

Once you sort all the designatory letters etc you then possibly ought to consider an Institute song.

Thanks (1)
Replying to penelope pitstop:
A Putey FACA
By Arthur Putey
01st May 2020 13:24

01:52 am, had the rose wine really kicked in by then, hence the colour of your post, and a clue to my designatory letters below.

Regards
A Putey AIAWJABITW

Thanks (1)
Replying to Arthur Putey:
By penelope pitstop
01st May 2020 13:32

No. I have a special arrangement with AccountingWeb.

They have agreed to colour my longer posts the same as the car I used in Whacky Races.

Google "Whacky Races Penelope Pitstop" all of you young critters out there and "be enlightened".

OMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Thanks (0)
Replying to penelope pitstop:
Hallerud at Easter
By DJKL
01st May 2020 16:18

"I'll protect you from the Hooded Claw, keep the vampires from your door", even Holly Johnson remembered Wacky Races. (I think Whacky Races may have been the X rated version)

Penelope Pitstop, the glamour gal of the gas pedal. (These days considered a very non environmentally friendly programme)

Thanks (0)
Replying to Arthur Putey:
By penelope pitstop
01st May 2020 13:34

A Putey AIAWJABITW

Go on then. Enlighten us

Thanks (0)
Avatar
By I'msorryIhaven'taclue
30th Apr 2020 20:56

And, more to the point, will we each receive a certificate to hang on our walls alongside our birth certificates / college diplomas / marriage licences / decree absolutes / fishing permits?

Thanks (1)
Replying to I'msorryIhaven'taclue:
Hallerud at Easter
By DJKL
30th Apr 2020 22:55

Is it not a fishing licence you all need to have down south, up here we have no such requirement.

I think the challenge is to actually say something meaningful (with all the letters), so maybe see if perming say ICAS in helps, or other professional (and not so professional) bodies.

Thanks (0)
Replying to I'msorryIhaven'taclue:
By penelope pitstop
01st May 2020 00:06

No. Again, a revolutionary concept - you get a frame! Yes, just an empty picture frame.
You can put in it what you want or sell it on Ebay.
End of.
What more do you want?

Thanks (2)
Red Leader
By Red Leader
01st May 2020 12:32

I'm worried about you Penny.

Thanks (2)
Share this content

Related posts