Ever wondered WHO really believes in MTD?

Here's some light-hearted 'fun' reading for a sunny Friday ...

Didn't find your answer?

Hot off the press is "HMRC IT strategy (2022 to 2025) - HMRC's technology and innovation strategy" at https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/hmrc-it-strategy-2022-to-2025

If nothing else, the title illustrates that they're nor even sure what the 'I' and the 'T' stand for in IT.  But at last we have some guilty names to attach to the woeful verbal diarrhoea that is emitted by the 'believers' (and they are almost cult-like) to make the mandarins feel good in their public utterances.

Spoiler alert: you can use the strategy document *either* sat alone (as a straightforward soporific) *or* in a group (each with a printed copy so you can play jargon bingo) ... just one example of the latter is:

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"Transforming the way we work:

In line with HMRC’s strategic priorities, at CDIO Group we are in the middle of a multi-year journey to transform how technology delivers value for HMRC, our customers and our partners.

We are working closely with policy and operational colleagues across HMRC to build strategic roadmaps for our critical enterprise platforms and co-create capabilities that HMRC needs for the future. We are transforming the way in which we work and collaborate across our internal and external supply chain, to be more agile to business needs while being resilient to macroeconomic and technological change.

My team and I are committed to enabling technology as the beating heart of HMRC – Making Tax Digital, administering our taxation and customs regime efficiently, and delivering a seamless experience for our customers and colleagues."

10/10 to Tom Skalycz, Chief Technology Officer (CTO) in the Chief Digital and Information Officer’s Group, for using 130 words to communicate zilch!

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See how far you can read without either falling asleep or splitting your sides with laughter.

[Warning: potential side effects may include nausea, headaches, violent outbursts or a simple sense of lethargic resignation.]

Replies (10)

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By taxdigital
07th Jul 2023 10:52

Hugo Fair wrote:

"Transforming the way we work:

In line with HMRC’s strategic priorities, at CDIO Group we are in the middle of a multi-year journey to transform how technology delivers value for HMRC, our customers and our partners.

We are working closely with policy and operational colleagues across HMRC to build strategic roadmaps for our critical enterprise platforms and co-create capabilities that HMRC needs for the future. We are transforming the way in which we work and collaborate across our internal and external supply chain, to be more agile to business needs while being resilient to macroeconomic and technological change.

My team and I are committed to enabling technology as the beating heart of HMRC – Making Tax Digital, administering our taxation and customs regime efficiently, and delivering a seamless experience for our customers and colleagues."

You can generate more of this corporate BS here below:
https://www.atrixnet.com/bs-generator.html

Thanks (0)
By ireallyshouldknowthisbut
07th Jul 2023 11:05

Someone has been paid to write that garbage

And others to read it.

"We are trying to improve out IT systems" was all the author needed to write.

Thanks (3)
Replying to ireallyshouldknowthisbut:
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By David Ex
07th Jul 2023 12:23

ireallyshouldknowthisbut wrote:

"We are trying to improve out IT systems" was all the author needed to write.

And the fact that they didn’t, probably tells you all you need to know.

Any normal person would be embarrassed to churn out that 1990’s “look at me I’m doing an MBA” meaningless codswallop.

Thanks (3)
Replying to David Ex:
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By Hugo Fair
07th Jul 2023 12:48

Quite ... but it's not just the posturing 'strategy' statements, there's the complete lack of comprehension of reality. Here's another section with the actual heading of "Making it real"!

"Customer services:
Our existing virtual assistant platform was not able to meet all our customers’ needs.
CDIO ensured we were getting the best out of our technology to improve customer engagement and omnichannel experience.

We introduced voice-based communication for all our customers, driving more than £5m cost avoidance on COVID-19 schemes and improved customer satisfaction scores.
We are investigating capabilities to scale further across the enterprise."

I thought 'voice-based communication' meant 'phone-calls ...

Thanks (1)
Replying to Hugo Fair:
Tornado
By Tornado
07th Jul 2023 13:05

"Our existing virtual assistant platform was not able to meet all our customers’ needs."

I don't think it could ever meet any of the the needs of 'Customers' as it has one basic failing ........ it does not understand what you are telling it!

A basic understanding of English would be useful for a start.

Thanks (2)
Replying to ireallyshouldknowthisbut:
By SteveHa
07th Jul 2023 12:54

ireallyshouldknowthisbut wrote:

Someone has been paid to write that garbage

Looks like ChatGPT BS, to me.

Thanks (2)
Tornado
By Tornado
07th Jul 2023 12:45

The use of zillions of 'buzz words and phrases' leads me to think that this has been written by AI or by someone who thinks they are AI.
What a load of garbage.

You do have to chuckle a bit though on this sunny Friday afternoon.

Thanks (2)
RLI
By lionofludesch
08th Jul 2023 00:14

Here's a plan, Tom.

Answer the phone

Thanks (0)
Jennifer Adams
By Jennifer Adams
08th Jul 2023 10:44

"My team and I are committed to enabling technology as the beating heart of HMRC – Making Tax Digital, administering our taxation and customs regime efficiently, and delivering a seamless experience for our customers and colleagues."

>> which means ...

'we recognise the systems are not efficient although we want them to be'

Thanks (1)
Replying to Jennifer Adams:
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By D V Fields
08th Jul 2023 11:29

Alternatively:
“We don’t know what we are talking about but we can write drivel to prove it!”

Thanks (2)