For Ageing Small Practice Accountants

I worked on this with NAFTA

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In an unprecedented move that is set to redefine the future of accountancy, the National Association of Forward-Thinking Accountants (NAFTA) has today announced the launch of a groundbreaking Age-Reversal Programme specifically tailored for ageing small practice accountants.

Dubbed "CountBack", this innovative initiative promises to turn back the clock, merging cutting-edge technology with age-old accounting wisdom to rejuvenate the minds and spirits of the most seasoned professionals in the industry.

The CountBack Programme: What's in Store?

The CountBack Programme, set to commence trials in the heart of London, involves a series of workshops, activities, and even a bespoke diet plan, all designed to reverse the effects of ageing and inject a new lease of life into the accountancy profession.

Highlights include:

The Calculator Calisthenics: A physical fitness routine developed by leading gerontologists and fitness experts from across the globe, integrating the use of traditional accounting tools like calculators and ledger books into a workout regime.

Memory Ledger: A cognitive enhancement seminar aimed at boosting memory recall – essential for remembering those pesky tax codes.

The Fountain of Youth Water Cooler: An actual water cooler, installed in participating practices, which dispenses water infused with vitamins and minerals, purported to enhance mental clarity and physical vitality.

Skeptics Turned Believers

Critics may be quick to dismiss the programme as just another gimmick, but early testimonials from a select group of accountants who underwent preliminary testing have been overwhelmingly positive.

One participant, John Smith (name changed to protect the ageless), reported, "I was skeptical at first, but after the programme, I felt like I could calculate tax returns faster than I could in my thirties!"

Participation and Eligibility

The programme is open to any small practice accountant who feels they have lost a step or two over the years.

A Note from the Creators

In a statement from NAFTA, the brains behind this revolutionary programme noted, "We believe in the power of our seasoned accountants. With CountBack, we are not just looking back with nostalgia; we are literally taking our accountants back to their prime!"

Replies (7)

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By FactChecker
01st Apr 2024 01:03

Today NAFTA expelled a group of new members who were observed trying to impart the doctrine's methods into their mobile phones. Attention became focused on them after one had tried to feed his phone by dropping it into the Fountain of Youth and was stunned when it ceased working.
An HMRC spokesperson has denied that they were all managers from the MTD project working undercover, hoping to have found a way to save their futures.

Thanks (7)
David Winch
By David Winch
01st Apr 2024 07:50

Will the program also be available to accountants who are NORTY (Naturally Oarsum Retro-Thinking Youngsters)?

Thanks (3)
By I'msorryIhaven'taclue
01st Apr 2024 09:10

There's a good spoof in the Telegraph this morning in which the Bundesliga have invoked an 1898 rule preventing foreign players from playing internationally, which means Harry Kane can no longer play for England.

The Bundesliga are willing to relax that rule provided we agree to replay the 1966 World cup final, on account of the ball never having crossed the line*

*It didn't. Everyone knew it didn't. The linesman was Russian - from Stalingrad in fact - and it was just twenty years after the war.

Thanks (2)
Replying to I'msorryIhaven'taclue:
paddle steamer
01st Apr 2024 10:10

Well, on the plus side they do not seem to want to refight WW1 and WW2.

Thanks (1)
paddle steamer
01st Apr 2024 10:08

If they can couple their programme with time travel they could be on to a winner, deal with all the inconvenient client activities undertaken pre advice and the accountant drops a few years (and pounds) into the bargain.

Thanks (2)
By Paul Crowley
01st Apr 2024 13:20

A new exposure draft policy for office plant has been released.
Appreciation is limited to leaf development as observed by independent actuaries.
The FCA is looking for views to be submitted within three months

Thanks (0)
By Tornado
01st Apr 2024 13:37

It sounds great to me.

Where do I sign up?

Thanks (1)