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HMRC's secret technical office - THE TRUTH

The one where the difficult questions go.

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HMRC enforcer just arrived at our doors and, because he already had my name, asked for me (ain't I lucky).

Without going into too much detail, client company has a substantial CT debt, with no assets and no income, but is expecting a (significantly more substantial) payment early in the new year and will be able to settle.

In May, I spoke to HMRC and made an offer of three comparitively small payments in May, August and September 2016, with full and final balance in February. Of course, the telephone operator couldn't agree this, and referred it to the technical back office for consideration.

Fast forward to today. The enforcer and I compared notes of my earlier conversation, and the only difference between them was that I'd recorded the referral to the technical office. This amused the enforcer enormously, and he ventured that he wished he knew where this technical office is, because he's never encountered it, and nothing had happened following my call until it landed in his desk.

So there we are, from the horses mouth. There is no secret technical back office. It must just be a comforter for the untrained front line staff to think that someone somewhere knows what they are doing.

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27th Jul 2017 16:13

Oh you poor fool. Of course he's not going to admit there is a secret technical back office. If he is important enough to know about it then he is certainly not going to admit it exists (it's a secret!). And if he is not important enough to know about it then he's not got a clue.

One thing's for sure - your name is now on a list. Check your rear view mirror.

Thanks (3)
to Tim Vane
27th Jul 2017 17:01

Thought that myself, Tim.

It's all just a blind.

The technical office is in a secret nuclear bunker near Durness.

Thanks (1)
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By gphemy
to lionofludesch
27th Jul 2017 17:18

Disguised as Balnakeil Craft Village, perchance?

Thanks (1)
to gphemy
27th Jul 2017 17:40

The entrance is through the Chocolate Shop place.

Thanks (1)
to Tim Vane
27th Jul 2017 20:20

Tim Vane wrote:

One thing's for sure - your name is now on a list. Check your rear view mirror.

Fortunately, I commute by train. They don't have rear view mirrors and the times are so erratic no-one could ever track me.

Thanks (2)
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27th Jul 2017 17:05

I keep picturing Clint Eastwood as the HMRC 'enforcer'.
"This is the most complicated legislation in the world, do you feel lucky punk?"

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27th Jul 2017 17:18

I had occasion to have a case where it was referred to "Policy". Basically from what I could surmise it was a team of ne'er do wells in London deciding the course of key issues for HMRC to increase tax take.

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28th Jul 2017 09:46

I think you've all been fooled. Reference is made to the " Technical Office " when HMRC want to get rid of a phone call or enquiry they can't or don't want to answer

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28th Jul 2017 12:55

Use Platform 9 3/4 King's Cross Station N1 9AP and ask for Harry Potter - Lead - VAT Specialist (Back Office)
Been there with a client recently, funny chap though.

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