How to get him out of my car

How to get him out of my car

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So a new 'man' (18) started last week and I got chatting to him in the car park as he was loitering waiting for the office to open.  It turns out he lives vaguely near me and I, in passing, said that if he was ever stuck trying to get to work (e.g. from rain, hail, wind or snow) he should let me know and I could always swing by and fetch him.

On Monday he asked if I could bring him to work.  Being soft I said ok and gave him a lift.  Then home.  Then Tuesday to work and back.  Yesterday he got in and said 'Oh, I've been thinking, I should pay you for these lifts'.  Resigned to my fate as being soft and letting him keep getting lifts I consoled myself thinking 'Oh well, my petrol is £45 a week, at least he will cut my commuting costs'.  I gave him a lift home and he said 'Is this alright for a weeks worth?' and gave me a pile of shrapnel.  I counted it when I got home and it was £7.91.

I can't smoke with him in the car as he coughs.  I don't like to have music on as I feel obliged to force conversation.  He is 18 and therefore annoying to talk to.

I want him out of my car, but he is nice and I am nice, so how do I do it?  If I pushed him out on the dual carriage way would the police take a dim view?


Replies (29)

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By User deleted
17th Mar 2011 16:31

They call it lying but....

I may now get slated again for encouraging the telling of lies (!) but if you don't want to tell him the truth and hurt his feelings why not say casually tomorrow night when you drop him off something like 'just remembered, I won't be able to drive you next week / ever again as I'm going to be staying at my partner's / mate's / going round to feed my granny's cat / checking in with my probation officer (insert plausible excuse) but thanks for the company this week' He'll be half way out of the car at this point so won't be able to question you and will have the weekend to get over it. Hopefully after a couple of weeks he'll forget you ever drove him!

If you don't sort it quick you'll be driving him for years!

An alternative is to smoke constantly and have your worst music on at high volume in the hope he changes his mind but I wouldn't count on it!!

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By taxhound
17th Mar 2011 16:33

on the positive side

he is not only making a (small) contribution to your car costs, but you are saving money on cigarettes too!

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By User deleted
17th Mar 2011 16:34

Or another....

Flirt outrageously with him and scare him witless! Though you may get a reputation you don't want in the office. Fun though :)

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By Constantly Confused
17th Mar 2011 16:42

I like the idea...

... of telling him bad news as he leaves the car, maybe then revving the engine if he tries to question me.

I think a key part of this is to break the habit, if I can keep him out of my car for a short while he might find making his own way isn't so bad and stick with it.


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By wockywocky
17th Mar 2011 16:49


...steer the conversation to how funny/beneficiail/useful the Any Answers section of accountingweb is and resubmit your original post.  Not very subtle but it could be effective.



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By paulwakefield1
17th Mar 2011 16:51

What's wrong

with the idea in the final paragraph of your original post? He jumped yer 'onour.

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By cymraeg_draig
17th Mar 2011 18:16


.....  say casually tomorrow night when you drop him off something like 'just remembered, I won't be able to drive you next week / ever again as I'm checking in with my probation officer  Posted by Flash Gordon on Thu, 17/03/2011 - 16:31


A better excuse is your "going to see your therapist" - and make sure there's an axe laying on the back seat of the car.

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By Rammstein
18th Mar 2011 08:30


Why not have a strong curry the night before and let nature take it's course!

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By bernard michael bayly
18th Mar 2011 09:06

Unwanted passenger

Perhaps he fancies you

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the sea otter
By memyself-eye
18th Mar 2011 10:51

Buy an MG Midget

and drive everywhere and in all weathers with the hood and windows down (note: 'hood' not 'roof') and the heater on full. The bone jarring ride, minimum passenger comfort and hairing raising proximity to the ground, plus the ability for you to then smoke should put him off for life.

If not, drive it everywhere at maximum velocity, which, given it's 1950's mechanics will not be very fast.... 

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By cathygrimmer
18th Mar 2011 10:59


I gave a man a lift to a group that we were both members of because I drove past his house on my way there so it seemed a reasonable thing to do. One day I picked him up and, out of the blue, he announced that he was in love with me. I nearly crashed the car!

I have been wary about offering regular lifts ever since!


[email protected]


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By ShirleyM
18th Mar 2011 12:40


Your experience reminds me of a young woman I once employed a few years ago. 

She lived on my route, so I would pick her up in the morning, and take her home at night. This worked fine until we got a bit busier, so I often worked a bit later to get a task finished, or had 5pm meetings with clients. She didn't like the idea of public transport, so she used to put on her coat and stand at the window of my office until I was ready to leave, which was very embarrassing if I had a client with me. It did serve to keep the meeting as short as possible though!

My instructions were mostly ignored, and this young lady would also browse the internet in preference to doing any real work.

I gave her every opportunity to show she really wanted the job, and there were no doubts as to her ability, but as you have probably guessed by now, her employment with me didn't last very long. 

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By Dr G House
18th Mar 2011 15:30


Tell him you have Lupus, always works for me.

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By chrissyangell
25th Mar 2011 11:04

He Jumped!!??!!

I presume by now you have taken the plunge and used one of these wonderful ideas!! But I do have to say the first one makes the most sense and is along the  lines of the answer that came to my mind. I was thinking of suggesting slightly changing your hours but after reading about the employee standing at the window that doesn't sound like it would work.

Please keep us updated as to what does work as I am sure I am not the only one who is interested.


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By andrew.hyde
25th Mar 2011 11:21

This is a problem?

Try the Central Line on a Monday morning.

Seriously though, there is alot to be said for car sharing.  I did this for some years with a younger colleague, and later a third person joined us. Now, I realise that this sounds like hell to you, but actually it became quite normal and we either conversed or were relaxed enough with each other to just listen to music or sleep. 

Now, here's the bonus.  As they got older they passed their tests and acquired cars. So it turned out that 2 weeks out of 3 I was driven door to door by two attractive young ladies. How good is that?

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By Ermintrude
25th Mar 2011 11:39


as you want to anyway.  And scratch a lot - preferably your genitals.  And as hinted at by earlier poster - fart.  Flirting (also as suggested by earlier poster) could work well, especially if you're a man.  Although not necessarily, I suppose.

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By andrew.hyde
25th Mar 2011 11:46

Smoke, fart and scratch genitals...

All at the same time?  You might want to risk-assess that.

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By pricejune
25th Mar 2011 11:48

How do I get him out of my car

No need to lie.  This is how you do it.  Tell him that you're glad you could help him out that week BUT.. you wont be able to do it on a regular basis as this is your quiet time during the day.  The only time you get to be alone and you like to have that time to yourself to think about things and relax and you hope he understands that.  That  you sometimes go other places before and after work as well but that you devote this time in the car just for you.

Why do I say that - its true for me and I've already had this problem.

He wont be able to argue.

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By ferengi
25th Mar 2011 12:20

From the 18 year old...

... well, ok, maybe not THE 18 year old, but I can remember being in an identical position as the 18 year old recipient of a lift and assuming this would be a permanent arrangement.

Being told politely but clearly that this was not to be the case was just part of growing up -  at that age you don't really immediately see why 'quiet time' and 'personal space' might be important until someone tells you... remember he probably still gets lifts from parents, or at least this will likely only recently have stopped.

Take him for a coffee at lunch, tell him, then ask how work's going etc, tell him that of course if he's ever desperate you'll always help out etc.


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By Ermintrude
25th Mar 2011 12:22

Smoke, fart & scratch - its multi-tasking!

It's what we ladies are good at!  Although these 3 might imply I'm not a "lady" by everyone's standards............

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By pauljohnston
25th Mar 2011 13:06

Why not get a motor bike

That should discourage him....

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By jromanab
25th Mar 2011 13:20


the whole matter is hilarious.

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By steve2646
25th Mar 2011 14:27

Be Unreliable

Tell him in the morning that you will run him home at night and then either forget about him, give him some lame excuse or leave him waiting outside the supermarket while you do your weekly shop.  If this dosent work as a last resort you could forget to pick him up in the morning occasionally.  If you add to this asking him to pay the same amount as it would cost for public transport he might just get the idea. 

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Red Leader
By Red Leader
25th Mar 2011 16:40

Just say no

Don't make arrangements to pick him up next week. If he asks, just say you can't do it, sorry, bye. Simple.

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By coolmanwithbeard
26th Mar 2011 20:10


Why not pour a litre of water onto the seat before he gets in and when he mentions it apologise as you'd had your aunties dog in the car and handn't noticed - best done in the morning i think

Or try the same with itching powder - and mention what a flea ridden mutt it is

Or start listening to insprirational or teaching cds or opera

Or send him into sainsburys on the way home with a list


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By conradm
27th Mar 2011 13:16


I feel your pain sister.. you are too nice and have a) been nice, b) cause to regret it, but c) don't want to hurt his feelings (because: refer to a).

I suspect you don't like confrontation either and are dreading the thought of having to tell him you don't want to give him a lift.

My suggestion is that you get a job somewhere else - ideally, in the polar opposite direction to the one you currently have, relative to your house. This will avoid you having to i) lie about not being able to give him a lift and ii) give him a lift.

Don't thank me if this helps, just make a donation of some sort to something or other.


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By ajnmx
05th Apr 2011 15:29

Get another job

 I had a similar problem. Offered a guy a lift once to help him out when he'd just moved into the area, then got stuck with it. And he was consistently late. I just couldn't think of a way out of it without me looking like a real jerk. So I got a new job in the end.

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By bencooper
13th Apr 2011 17:06

Call yourselves accountants/maths specialists!

I am amazed to see that nobody has broken down the figures on this to see if it is actually in some way profitable.

To make it easier for some bright spark here are (as i see them) the key facts and figures:

Weekly fuel cost = £45 of which you can say 5/7 is work related i.e. £32.14 on commuting (this does assume you don't go out much weekends I'm afraid which as, like me, you are on AW that is perhaps a fair assumption)

Contribution = £7.91 reduces fuel to £24.23

£32.14 (actual fuel cost for commuting) assumes total commute mileage of 230 miles a week (assuming 14p per mile consumption)

230 miles at average of 50mph = 4.6 hours driving per week (For London decrease average MPH to 7mph and re calc)

1 cigarette takes approx 6 mins to smoke so assume 1 every 15 mins = 18.4 cigarettes per week approx 1 pack per week not smoked = £7.00 saved

We are down to £24.23 for fuel plus £7.00 back in your pocket for not smoking and a year onto your life (what price?)

Where I need assistance is working out the effect of having another body in the car as this will have a knock on to fuel consumption (so actually your cost will increase) and general wear and tear. We need to understand his mass. Are we talking lardy, slim, hairy. A beard can cost £5.00 a year in drag.... You may have an off set reduction in fuel use/battery draw as you do not have the stereo on. You also have to value the irritation factor for which I am sure there is a mathematical equation.

Over to you accountants from here but I reckon it is probably not a bad deal thus far.

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