Has anyone else heard that the Inland Revenue are mounting a full enquiry into the financial affairs of Santa Clause? Apparently, the Revenue are of the opinion that income has not been declared for a number of years. It is blatantly apparent that Santa must have resources to fund his activities!
Santa's little helper
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A Seasonal Song
While Santa cooked his books one night
When seated on his sleigh;
The Revenue appeared to him
And said 'You have to pay'.
Thus spake old Santa and replied
You've failed to take account;
Of all my bills for presents bought
They're quite a large amount.
My books and figures are displayed
Open to human view;
But they've been spoilt by reindeer
Who've done their business - Phew !
The officer was not put off
And served him with a note;
Send all your papers to our place
We'll put them to the vote.
In SCO at Angel Court
Arose a mighty pong;
As they attempted to submit
That Santa had done wrong.
But they were overcome by it
And all the little elves;
Who bashed the officers about
And sorely hurt their selves.
Even the ghost of dear old Nick
Quite failed to turn the tide;
'We give in' - said the Revenue
Although we've really tried.
All glory to the Revenue
And Wanda Roloprim;
Next year's report will be more dire
They've failed to nobble HIM !
(With apologies to N Tate, who wrote the carol 'While Shepherds Watched).
Santa is Sacked - again!
Snow letting up with these dastardly dorks at the Rev.Anew.
Two enquiries in the space of 3 years for poor Santa.
Probably he missed the Jan 31 deadline for filing his S-elf Assessment last year again!
Santa's favourite song foes something like Chim-Chimney-chim-chim-chimney, tra-la-la-la-la....
I tried to explain away my present from him last year of a pair of antlers, but no one would believe me when I said they were awfy deer!
Long may he reign deer!
Now I just have to organise my sole practitioner Christmas lunch today. I circulated 5 hotels for a quote for a party of ONE, but got no response, so I think it will have to be a bottle of Lilt and a Cornish pastie eaten in a roadside passing place once again.
Who said Accountants had all the fun! It just doesn't add up for us S/p's!
elf employed
I always thought the claim that his staff were elf employed was a little dubious