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Joker of the year

Joker of the year

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Catching up on TV 9:32pm Saturday 30 January- mobile text alert.

"Hi this is John - you act for my brother James. Can you help me with my tax return?" (Names changed)

Declined to reply....... As Eric Morecambe said ..... There's no answer to that

Anyway- he can find out where I live and may come over today.....

Replies (21)

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By bernard michael
31st Jan 2016 10:56

I'd go down the pub all day or put a sign on the door saying "Gone Away"

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By hje
31st Jan 2016 11:30



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By gerrysims
31st Jan 2016 11:57


Course it could be 15/16 and he's the most organised client ever ! Text him back and say 'no probs, call me Monday'

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By dropoutguy
31st Jan 2016 15:39


I was asleep on the sofa and a client has tried to call twice.  His return has gone in.  Everybody's returns have gone in.  I'm not answering.

How much should I charge for waking me up on 31 Jan?


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By Mouse007
31st Jan 2016 16:02

e mail just in

Sun 31/01/2016 15:13

"My 2013/14 income is attached. I know it’s too late."


They think I do magic

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By WallyGandy
31st Jan 2016 17:06

Thanks, Mouse007- you got the better of me there.....

But another joker (several years ago) rolled in at 10:00 am February 1st.  I politely informed him he needed Dr Who's attentions, not mine.

Am I in the lead again?

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By Witch-Queen
31st Jan 2016 18:28

email received Saturday 30/01/16 8.29pm

"I have attached my husbands accounts. Could you please take a look to see if they are OK?

Could you get back to me by tomorrow afternoon if possible, as tomorrow is the deadline. I will then call you and I can file it online myself if you talk me through it and I can use your log in"

Now that s taking the P

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By bigmuggsy
31st Jan 2016 21:35

Email received tonight 18:53.


Please find attached my bank statements and spreadsheets for my tax return, as requested.

. Is this a winner 5 hours before midnight?

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31st Jan 2016 22:04

Why turn them away though?

Just tell them you can do it, but it'll be late. It's not as if they'll get a different answer elsewhere, and you might be able to train them up for next year. Stranger things have happened.

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By Mr_awol
01st Feb 2016 09:11

One of my clients seemed surprised that I wasn't working the weekend (he cam in to sign his Return tail end of last week).

I pointed out that there had been 42 previous weekends since the end of the tax year - and that, since any clients bringing their books in now had valued those weekends too important to bother doing their books on, why should I sacrifice this specific weekend for them?

Apparently im crazy, don't understand business, and have more money than sense............

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By lionofludesch
01st Feb 2016 09:45


Test received 20.13 last night.

"This number you gave me is no good. It should start with a K. There's nothing on this website that says it's my account and it doesn't tell me what to pay.  I don't trust it."


"OK. No problem.  Wait long enough and they'll pop round your house for it."

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By whatdoyoumeanwashe
01st Feb 2016 10:55

Email from a friend in New Zealand at 9.30am on Sunday 31st (=10.30pm in NZ). "Err, just tried to file my UK tax return and apparently I can't do the residency pages online. Can you help?" I was just waking up in a B&B with a massive hangover the morning after a wedding.

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By cathygrimmer
01st Feb 2016 11:28

11pm 31 January

A few years ago, I had a call from an accountant client at 11pm on 31 January. Fortunately i was already out and my phone was on silent and I didn't know about it until the next day. Probably a good thing as I'd had a few glasses of wine by then and was in no fit state to give tax advice!




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By halblackburn
01st Feb 2016 15:11

Your're never alone ...

Whilst labouring away on their tax return (evening of Sat 30th) I got the following in an email from a medic client (intensive care consultant):

"Thank you for your late work.  My next week-end on call will feel a bit less lonely."

I guess the patients don't feel up to a chat with the doc.

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By skumara
02nd Feb 2016 11:40

A supplier of a client rings on Sat Morning - I do not understand self assessment and I need to do a return - I am self employed - turns out she had not done a return for three years and just incurred penalties for ignoring it!

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By whatdoyoumeanwashe
02nd Feb 2016 11:48

I (in theory) have a client who has tax returns to file from 2008-2015 inclusive. Nothing to report except PAYE income and maybe some bank interest. Two years ago they came to me to help them sort out their mess. Other than sign my engagement letter (double fees for each year) they've not got round to sending me a single piece of information!

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By cheekychappy
02nd Feb 2016 11:51

I had a client come in yesterday. He’s ignored all correspondence to date, but wanted me to backdate the submission so that he could avoid the penalty.

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By whatdoyoumeanwashe
02nd Feb 2016 11:57

Classic. I'd backdate his disengagement letter instead.

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By Flustered
02nd Feb 2016 12:06


One existing client turned up about 5.00 p.m. on 31st - with no information. I asked him what he expected me to do. He turned up yesterday with all the information....So why didn't he let me have it sooner? - "HMR&C didn't send a reminder"...maybe not - but I did - several. 


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By the_fishmonger
02nd Feb 2016 14:22

This year was the straw that broke the camels back.

For the past few years, it seems that those clients not yet on DD have delayed more and more just to hold off paying fees. So much so that there were still too many outstanding on 24th Jan. I called all those o/s and have now informed them that unless they supply their records prior to 31st August this year, they will be charged double this year's fee and more if it gets to December.

Some were affronted, others just thought it fair enough. All in all, I reckon most of the really late ones could be lost without my health being put in jeopardy and I could improve fees on the whole client base by using that time better for them.

"Just putting the numbers in for me" implying bookkeeping 12 months of receipts et al., preparing accounts and then plucking the interest out of bank statements (because they are so useless "they don't know how") is now beyond my tolerance limit

I'm not sure many of us can take the 4 (or more) deadlines that are looming large under DTA, so tell 'em it straight

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02nd Feb 2016 15:05

Good one

I got an email on Sunday evening from a client whose tax return was the last one to be submitted last Friday - "Now that your are no longer busy with tax returns, can you please deal with the due diligence request from a multinational investor's lawyers and corporate advisors for the £2m they are investing in my company. The deadline is Friday 4 Feb" - I have quoted double the fee I normally charge for this kind of work!

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