Laws of the loo

Returning to the office and bathroom etiquette

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Here’s a nice sophisticated Any Answers for you lot. There have been a few images circling around of EY office notes regarding bathroom etiquette. In one office an employee had stuck a guide on how to use the toilets, named “Guidelines for feral male staff”. 

In another, the company had stuck stickers around the office with “please be considerate and flush after use”. Is this just an EY issue or, as one of the guidelines stated, are men just “improperly socialised”? 

With more and more people going back to the offices after working from home, have we forgotten how to share work toilets? 

In a profession known for precision, shouldn’t accountants know how to handle the intricacies of bathroom cleanliness and etiquette?
 

Replies (45)

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By Wanderer
27th Feb 2024 17:20

“Guidelines for feral male staff”
No doubt intended as a joke however is that acceptable?

Can just imagine the outrage & possible discrimination claims if something similar was put up about female / BAME / LGBTQ+ / elderly / young / particular religion staff.

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Replying to Wanderer:
paddle steamer
By DJKL
27th Feb 2024 17:38

I would feel hurt and abused if I were a male employee at EY, it could take me all of 5 seconds to get over the flagrant abuse.

Personally, if I were to review all such habits, I would want to consider time spent in the facilities, in my experience whilst all staff can likely perform the task at hand at a similar speed, some seem to want to linger for a long time after completion. (May be something to do with these novel shiny things called mirrors)

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the sea otter
By memyself-eye
27th Feb 2024 18:08

Bathroom?
Isn't that an American...ism.
Here we call it the loo, toilet, lavatory, bog, p*sser, Sh*thouse, even 'John'

Never taken a 'bath' in any of the above!

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Replying to memyself-eye:
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By AdamJones82
27th Feb 2024 21:01

Beat me to it. I wanted to reply the bathroom etiquette I undertake is making sure I don't leave towels on the floor......

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Replying to AdamJones82:
the sea otter
By memyself-eye
28th Feb 2024 14:11

I forgot 'khazi' !

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By FactChecker
27th Feb 2024 20:32

Molly, you're a month (and a coupla days) out for April Fool postings - but ...

As per Wanderer's comment, try replacing 'men' with ANY other word for a group of humans in the phrase 'are men just “improperly socialised”'? Now watch the sky fall in!

Anyway, "the intricacies of bathroom cleanliness and etiquette" ... is that related to the general need for people to understand that being an adult (in any situation) may require the casting aside of a 3 year-old's me-centric worldview?

Or, whisper it who dares, is this an indirect fallout from the move in modern offices to unisex (aka 'shared') toilets?
I've seen worse behaviour and messages between flat-sharers (and sometimes even between partners) but, however unfortunate, the fact is that different people have different 'standards' - and will use these to justify an attack that may well be based on entirely unrelated animosities. It's what called prejudicial bias.

[And I managed not to question what this is doing on an Accounting forum ... oh, hell.]

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RLI
By lionofludesch
27th Feb 2024 21:19

Who has a bath at work ?

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Replying to lionofludesch:
DougScott
By Dougscott
27th Feb 2024 21:57

lionofludesch wrote:

Who has a bath at work ?

I used to have a shower at work, but only because they didn't have a bath. Now I work from home I can have a bath.

And I do wish women would put the toilet seat back up after they've used it.....

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Replying to Dougscott:
paddle steamer
By DJKL
28th Feb 2024 10:36

We have a shower, it was a requirement from Planning when we built these offices- our required Green Travel Plan (we also had to install bike racks)

I have no issue with the bike racks, they do get used, just not by us, but not sure the showers have ever been used. Still, cannot throw insults too much at Planners as my daughter is one.

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Replying to Dougscott:
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By Paul Crowley
28th Feb 2024 15:41

Seat and lid should be down before flushing. QED and end of exercise

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Replying to lionofludesch:
paddle steamer
By DJKL
28th Feb 2024 09:37

I thought that was what you took on the fees you ought to charge.

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By adam.arca
28th Feb 2024 08:42

The bit about notes and stickers reminds me of a client where the shared toilet facilities were, erm, basic and also small and uncomfortably adjacent to the main office.

The bookkeeper pinned the following notices to the stall door:

“Ladies: please remain seated for the whole performance.”

And:

“Gentlemen: please stand closer. It may not be as long as you think.”

More generally on Molly’s point, I am inclined to agree that this could be yet another example of Gen Z’s work-shy and me-first outlook on life.

Although, on the other hand, every bloke everywhere will have used public facilities a million times and we can hardly deny that, as a collective, our standards are somewhat on the low side.

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By I'msorryIhaven'taclue
28th Feb 2024 08:43

Molly Macfarlane wrote:

In a profession known for precision, shouldn’t accountants know how to handle the intricacies of bathroom cleanliness and etiquette? 

We aim to please!

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Replying to I'msorryIhaven'taclue:
By SteveHa
28th Feb 2024 09:42

Would you aim, too, please.

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Replying to SteveHa:
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By I'msorryIhaven'taclue
28th Feb 2024 15:44

I'll have a shot at it!

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Replying to I'msorryIhaven'taclue:
Melchett
By thestudyman
29th Feb 2024 07:51

Ready aim fire!

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Replying to thestudyman:
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By Paul Crowley
01st Mar 2024 17:26

You are just a gabbler. No finesse.

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Replying to Paul Crowley:
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By HamishMackrell
15th Mar 2024 17:59

one place I worked we fad
* Shorty= he failed to get it all in the pot
** Lefty- obviously dressed to the left and so was his aim
*** The Right Stuffed - Aimed from the hip pulled to the right
Always uncomfortableto be there after them.
Never identified the perpetrators but probably harassed apprentices.
Also had a gentleman who crouched on the Loo seat to perform until one day alas he slipped trapping his foot in the apparatus. Oh dear that was a fuss.
No we did not have to amputate or smash the porcelain.

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By ireallyshouldknowthisbut
28th Feb 2024 09:16

I was once accused of having a "prince albert" by a female member of staff in a toilet I used with 3 females on our floor due to some clearly quesitonable aim which I had not spotted and cleaned up.

Due to the design of the bathroom in question (it was very dark) I decided to sit and not stand and all was well......

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Replying to ireallyshouldknowthisbut:
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By I'msorryIhaven'taclue
02nd Mar 2024 12:05

You've reminded me of a sign in a rough London pub's cubicle some years ago:

It's no use standing on the seat,
The crabs in here can jump six feet!

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By zebaa
28th Feb 2024 09:26

At our board meetings we used to have ‘dribblers’. The CEO took to reminding us of this and asked politely if we did, to wipe up. Another board member did have difficulty and in a quite moving little talk he described how to manipulate a person s ‘member’ to gently eject any dribbles.

Here is advice from a web site;

After passing urine, wait for a few seconds to allow the bladder to empty
1. Place the fingertips of the left hand three finger-breadths behind the [***] and apply gentle pressure
2. Keeping the pressure in the mid line, gently but positively draw the fingers forwards towards the base of the [***] under the [***]
3. This pushes the urine forward into the penile urethra from where it can be emptied by shaking or squeezing in the usual way
4. Before leaving the toilet, repeat the technique twice to ensure that the urethra is completely empty.
This technique can be practised at home. When in public toilets it can be done discreetly, with a hand inside a trouser pocket. It only takes a few seconds and may avoid the problem of wet trousers.

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Replying to zebaa:
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By Paul Crowley
28th Feb 2024 15:45

Good job you did not mention Scunthorpe

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By carnmores
28th Feb 2024 15:55

Qi?

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Replying to carnmores:
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By Paul Crowley
01st Mar 2024 17:27

Yes. Fair play to Lou.

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Replying to zebaa:
Lone Wolf
By Lone_Wolf
28th Feb 2024 13:07

Oy oy. Check out Mr Three Finger Breadths with the stealth boast.

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By Leywood
28th Feb 2024 09:32

This site is now attempting a race to the bottom.
.

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Replying to Leywood:
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By FactChecker
28th Feb 2024 16:35

... which reminds me of my favourite (true) office toilet contretemps:

Ardent anti-smoker, on finding cubicle shut but clouds of smoke pouring over the top, banging on door and shouting:
"Get your filthy effing habit out of there - it stinks and some of us don't appreciate being forced to endure it".
Less audible response from within cubicle that ended with:
" ... what you gonna do about it?"
As first party exited, the response was heard up and down the corridor:
"I'm off to find your ashtray so I can have a crap in it!"

BTW both protagonists were female (if that matters to anyone).

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By JCresswellTax
28th Feb 2024 10:14

I find this subject matter wholly inappropriate for a professional forum.

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Replying to JCresswellTax:
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By Open all hours
28th Feb 2024 12:16

One in a line of increasingly unsuitable topics. Polly Filler is alive and well in Aweb Towers.

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Replying to JCresswellTax:
stonks
By WinterDragon
29th Feb 2024 18:19

Leaving aside the subject matter as I'd rather play semantics...

I wouldn't consider this to be a professional forum as myself and countless others enjoy our anonymity and feel more free to speak our actual opinions (although some opinions can be gross and inappropriate to my tastes). I'd instead call this a forum for professionals but there is no expectation or rules for us to act as such on here. I actually quite prefer it this way.

And sorry to be really pedantic but I've just checked your profile and your bio is "#bullshit", now that doesn't seem very appropriate if this were a professional forum but thank you for the chuckle.

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Replying to WinterDragon:
By JCresswellTax
01st Mar 2024 10:20

Thanks for pointing this out, that certainly was not me!

I have been having some rather heated PMs with Aweb, I suspect they have done this!

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Replying to JCresswellTax:
Tom Herbert
By Tom Herbert
01st Mar 2024 10:41

Tin foil hats at the ready folks, the AWeb illuminati are coming for your bios :-/

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Replying to TomHerbert:
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By FactChecker
01st Mar 2024 11:59

And I thought you were jesting ... but my attempt to view her bio only generates the dreaded "Uh oh. This page isn't available to you right now." screen!
Has Putin taken over at Aweb Towers?

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Replying to FactChecker:
By JCresswellTax
19th Mar 2024 14:17

FactChecker wrote:

And I thought you were jesting ... but my attempt to view her bio only generates the dreaded "Uh oh. This page isn't available to you right now." screen!
Has Putin taken over at Aweb Towers?

Yes, I was banned shortly after the above post.

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Replying to JCresswellTax:
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By FactChecker
19th Mar 2024 16:47

Welcome back ... and on the day that HMRC appears to have reached meltdown.
Are you sure you're not responsible for that?

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Replying to FactChecker:
By JCresswellTax
20th Mar 2024 10:10

I would love to be able to claim responsibility for that however it appears i only make insulting comments rather than being able to hack computer systems :)

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Replying to JCresswellTax:
stonks
By WinterDragon
01st Mar 2024 16:51

I do usually look at people's posting history when judging the merit of their contribution (I'd make a terrible judge) and I'm sure I've seen that bio a long time ago so I doubt it's recent. But as I repeatedly find others pointing out to me in other threads, my memory is bloody awful!

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By Crouchy
28th Feb 2024 11:20

never mind the men!!

I used to work for a firm where one lady had a particular reputation for not properly cleaning up the pan after going 'big jobs'

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By Hometing
28th Feb 2024 12:15

From my retail experience (not in a weird way), women's bathrooms are much worse than men's by the end of the day!

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By Tom+Cross
28th Feb 2024 12:28

Where is the common sense and decency, these days?

For goodness sake, just leave the place, which you've visited, exactly how you'd like to find it.

Pride in your work. No matter what that 'work' might be.

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By carnmores
28th Feb 2024 13:47

women often complain that a loo seat is left up personally i am happy because it showsthat it is unlikely that someone has peed on it

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By Tax Dragon
28th Feb 2024 23:21

Is the profession known for precision? Set the tolerance level at immaterial inexactitude, leave the practitioner to judge what 'material' means, accept that no two accountants would produce the same output from the same inputs, and... maybe?

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Routemaster image
By tom123
29th Feb 2024 07:19

I work in a school - and we have laminated notices attached to all (pupil) toilet doors saying "no food to be taken into the toilets"..

My brother is the caretaker - you don't even want to ask about the toilet related issues he deals with..

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By JCresswellTax
29th Feb 2024 09:43

Following - so I can read next time I go to the toilet.

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Replying to JCresswellTax:
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By Craigy1874
01st Mar 2024 14:04

LOL

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