So my mental health has always been hit and miss, usually coming in cycles where I am content for a while, then anxious/paranoid for a while. There used to be bouts of depression mixed in, but they seem to have lessened these last few years (yay!) though I've noticed an upturn in anxiety and paranoia (boo!).
My paranoia has been acting up recently and I've realised that I have never really tried to address it before, not in any menaingful way anyway. Anxiety I have books on (The Chimp Paradox has been a help with my anxiety - though I have an issue where when I'm anxious I struggle to read it and wish I had read further into the book when my head was straight, and when I'm not anxious I don't prioritise reading it, as I'm not anxious and so don't need to... Stupid brain...).
So I have been looking into how to cope with paranoia and one of the suggestions online is a diary, something I have done before for anxiety and depression (I still get the book out from time to time to laugh at the stupid things I was anxious about in years gone by) but never for paranoia.
Here is the (darkly) 'amusing' part:
I find when I am in the middle of my paranoia I don't want to write down what I am paranoid about. In case someone else reads it, which obviously they will want to do. As I'm paranoid.
So I find myself creating cyphers, but then I assume everyone will be able to break them, so I add extra layers and do you know what it's all a bit pointless as eventually I can barely read them myself without 20 minutes of decoding.
Does anyone have any tips on coping with paranoia? I can usually look back on things afterwards and identify the paranoid acts from the reasonable ones, but it's hard to do it mid-paranoia.