Prat of the year (first nomination)

Can anyone beat this one?

Didn't find your answer?

Even before January 31 I nominate the following client (sole trader 5 April 2017 yearend)

Circa August 2017- email asking if I could accept his books in November.  Replied "yes" but best for him if no later

Circa late November 2017 my home office door nearly flattened - client stood there saying he had not finished his books. 

December 24 2017 16:30 Phone call from client. Ignored

December 24 2017 16:50 Phone call from client. Ignored

December 24 2017 17:15 Text from client. Deleted in anger (Bit hasty)

December 24 2017 19:45 My front door and door bell under assault from client for 10 long minutes. Ignored, obviously. (His van was seen outside)

December 26 2017 I sent terse email to client reminding him of Christmas and let me have his information early January

December 27 2017 Email from client saying books not ready yet- expect today (January 8) Not holding my breath!!

Harking back to Christmas Eve "siege" one wonders if I look like Bob Cratchitt or Ebenezer Scrooge????  

BTW- his "books" comprise 52 or so weekly sheets on a pre-prepared stencil of my design- all he has to do is fill in the figures. Other subcontractor clients say it takes 10-15 minutes per week and they love it.  Game given away- yup, he's a subcontractor........

Gauntlet now thrown down- can anyone beat this prat?

Replies (17)

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RLI
By lionofludesch
08th Jan 2018 12:09

What about yourself ?

Why is he still your client ?

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paddle steamer
By DJKL
08th Jan 2018 12:21

Wally

No relation to Ira "The Heart of a Village: Intimate History of Aldbourne" Gandy, perchance?

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By ireallyshouldknowthisbut
08th Jan 2018 13:56

I would find myself that anyone trying that on a sunday, xmas eve or otherwise would be looking for a new accountant come the monday.

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Replying to ireallyshouldknowthisbut:
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By WallyGandy
08th Jan 2018 17:41

Hi- OP here. Thanks for your comment. Not yet decided to boot him or not- the entire job takes only about 2 hours, then I surcharge him for unsociable working hours and inconvenience- SA100 won't be filed until I'm paid in full. It's worth my while financially- but I agree- Christmas Eve?????? First time in 44 years!! Think it's "goodbye" from Ebenezer!!

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Glenn Martin
By Glenn Martin
08th Jan 2018 13:08

Hmm

I have had a similar ex client I took on in mid 2017. He was going to do something which was potentially quite big but he didn't get it off the ground so I was left with the rather crappy task of his SA return which was priced on the low side as thought I would be getting the bigger job.

When he emails he never says Hi or morning or even my name in his emails which does wind me up.

His emails are

"where is my tax return"
Bob

The info provided was crap and 6 months was missing. I told him until he had the other 6 months could not do it.

He replied it was lost so therefore it didn't need to go onto return.

Explained that tax system did not work like otherwise everyone would just burn their records.

Replied saying i was not much use to him and he didn't like how I did business.

At which point I said I was sick of his rude and Micky Mouse emails and told him to go elsewhere on 20.12.2107

He has obviously looked around locally realised no one will probably do it

So is now bombarding me with emails stating how he
cannot believe I have dropped him in it.

The guy is a total clown, and I would comfortably smack him in the mouth if he ever come to my office again.

Thanks (4)
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By lesley.barnes
08th Jan 2018 14:25

I've got a joint nomination. Husband and wife partnership they've been clients two years. They are a pain and pull their faces when they get my invoice so won't be clients after these returns are submitted. I complete their personal returns on HMRC website and went in to print them off for signing. As I checked the returns it became obvious the figures were different than I had input. Much head scratching and several corrections on my part to put everything back in the right place. On speaking to the clients they admitted accessing their accounts to see how easy it was to do a tax return and had made some changes but didn't know what was there before so couldn't change it back to the correct figures. Now they know how easy it is to stick a few figures in they can do them next year themselves.

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By andy.partridge
08th Jan 2018 14:44

I've got one very unhappy with their tax payments on account.

'Lets see what your income is this year,' said I, 'and I'll see if there is any scope to reduce them. Perhaps you could send me your sales invoices and I'll take it from there.'

Silence

Reminder from me

Client says, 'Busy at present. It's OK, I trust you. Just do your best for me and let me know the reduction. Thanks.'

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Replying to andy.partridge:
Red Leader
By Red Leader
11th Jan 2018 11:34

Reply: "Could you make the noose a bit wider, I can't quite get my head in it. Thanks".

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By Michael Beaver
08th Jan 2018 16:48

Client 6 months late with £1.8k of fees overdue. Continually promises to pay, but the deadline passes with money. Always goes up against the deadline for returns and accounts.

Email from him on Friday saying that he and his wife had found a property and need all this stuff for the mortgage, and can I do her PAYE from her company now, and can it be done asap? And can I advise him on bitcoin?

I informed him that I could do that, but I'm not doing a thing until I get paid. Money magically appeared overnight.

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Replying to michaelbeaver:
Red Leader
By Red Leader
08th Jan 2018 17:48

Are you putting him on payment in advance from now on?

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By SXGuy
10th Jan 2018 11:06

Not a client but was a potential one. Had a phone call. Guy needed 3 years of SA completed. Had 3 years of late filing penalties.

After missing his morning appointment he calls late that evening saying something came up. No apology. Rang him back to arrange another first appointment to which he said, look can't I just drop the work to you. I said well we still haven't agreed costs and if need a deposit to start as I'm not prepared to work on credit until your accounts are up to date. To which he replied well I can't see you then as I expected you to take your fee from my refunds.

I thought about explaining how any refund could potentially be soaked up by his 3 years of penalties and then decided to not bother. Said my goodbyes and hung up.

Think I had a lucky escape to be honest. Anyone who can't be bothered to seek an accountant for 3 years and is aware of the large penalties he has, is more than likely going to expect all the work for free since he had no money to either pay me or his fines.

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Replying to SXGuy:
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By WallyGandy
10th Jan 2018 11:50

I can beat that! Email from electrician found yesterday- obviously Googling all local accountants.
TEN years behind. Can he be brought up to date by January 31. Viva the building trade- they always give us a laugh.
BTW- to be polite I did return his enquiry with a "no" to try to avoid him finding my phone number......

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By legerman
10th Jan 2018 12:33

In 9 years of trading I've only had one, only a couple of months ago. Recommendation - 3 years subby accounts, over 5k in penalties. Was able to reduce to the low 2k after calculating cis paid. He approved submission then a couple of months later said I had [***] him over as no way was there tax was still outstanding. I sent him all the tax calculations and summaries from his online account and haven't heard a dicky bird, or more importantly an apology, since. Luckily I got paid upfront.

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ALISK
By atleastisoundknowledgable...
11th Jan 2018 11:08

Think I may have a winner ...

In 2016 I took on a new (1st year) ltd. Directors had been both self employed and PAYE employees for a number of years. Normal late info etc. 2 x 2015/16 SAs done on 31 Jan - filed 6pm & 11pm. Reeled in by prospect of significantly larger fees from potential new venture ... (cough cough).

Anyway, came to do a/cs & CT (8.5 months after y/e) Spring 17. Presented my bill. Higher than initially agreed as they didn’t do any analysis, we did (extra fees had been discussed beforehand) - carrier bag (correction, bin liner) of receipts.

Them: this is higher that we agreed.
Me: yes, but we did this extra work you said you’d do. We did agreed the extra fees at our meeting on XX/XX/XX
Them: But I could have done that analysis .
Me: Yes but you didn’t, did you?
Them: Can you take your fees out of the refund?
Me: what refund?
Them: from HMRC
Me: here’s no refund. You owe CT.
Them: but what about my expense claim?
Me: ??!
Them: the [trading] expenses that the company have had. Don’t we get them refunded?
Me: by who?
Them: dunno. HMRC?
Me: No
Them: whenever I’ve done expense claims in the past I’ve been refunded.
Me: that’s when you were employed by someone else’s company.
Them: I feel that you lied to us at our first meeting. The relationship has broken down & I don’t trust you anymore.
Me: ok. Pay me for these accounts and I’ll submit them.
Them: no
Me: goodbye

I genuinely believe the ‘expense claim’ was the issue, not the increased fee. And we’re talking £800, up from £600.

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By andy.partridge
11th Jan 2018 11:31

I had a (very) high earning PAYE prospect who was convinced that his expenditure on a new buy to let could be set against his employment income.

When I told him it wouldn't result in the nice big tax refund he had anticipated he gave me a look that told me we probably weren't going to get along.

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By WallyGandy
15th Jan 2018 16:08

All well and bad (not good), team, but my annoyance was Christmas Eve.
Unless he's a Jehovah's Witness... hadn't thought of that....

(Not a trigger point for religious discussions- just bewilderment)

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By whatdoyoumeanwashe
16th Jan 2018 11:28

I had a prospective client a few years back who came to me in January asking me to prepare his self assessment. He'd lived in Dubai for ten years and this was his first year back in the UK. Only employment income he said (six figure salary). It quickly emerged that he'd been renting out his house and also a holiday let for ten years and never declared the income. Quick calculation, approx £30k tax owed. "But I can't afford that!" (Err, you jolly well should be able to, you've been earning six figures tax free for ten years!).
Needless to say he left to "think about it". Never heard from him, of course, but he left his records with me, so after repeated attempts to track him down I ended up having to post them at my expense to his place of work.
It really winds me up that he'll have just gone to another accountant and kept his mouth shut about his property income.

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