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Shocking expense claims

What are the most shocking expense claims you've seen submitted?

I've just finished submitting my rather meagre and dull expense claims. It was mostly the odd sandwich and a few Uber rides. As I was getting through the expenses, I wondered: there must be some fantastical and bizarre expense claims out there?

So what are some of the crazier ones you've seen? And have you actually approved them?

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08th Nov 2017 15:59

I was shocked to find on mine a journalist fishing for a future article :P

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to ireallyshouldknowthisbut
08th Nov 2017 16:27

So you're saying you got a scoop for me? :)

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08th Nov 2017 16:37

You need to check what Tom and Richard have claimed for Xerocon as it was a free bar.

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to Glennzy
08th Nov 2017 17:05

Nothing to see here, move along folks.

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to Glennzy
08th Nov 2017 17:06

Already saw them. Rich attempted to claim a boomerang, a DVD boxset of the show 'The Wire', and a one way flight ticket to Dresden. These were presented in a shoe box.

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to Glennzy
08th Nov 2017 17:07

What's the worst expense claim you've seen Glennzy?

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to Francois Badenhorst
09th Nov 2017 00:04

Not really dodgy but a genuine claim springs to mind. In about 1992 I had been sent to work down in Middlesborough in a really rough trading estate, (In case you have not been the Boro is the [***] end of England and is in a worse state that Aleppo).

There were hookers and smack heads walking around in the middle of the afternoon.

Needless to say my car was broken into, so my expenses claim for that month included my usual mileage, plus the cost of new spare wheel and car radio (As was only 20 at the time and no claims bonus was crucial).

I got paid out and it was re billed to the client, next time I went they let me park inside the factory.

I also claimed for a new pair of trousers once as a farmers dog ripped the bottom 6 inches of my pants on another job, (He gave me a massive pack of steak from his farm shop to say nowt about though).

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to Glennzy
09th Nov 2017 09:22

Glennzy wrote:

I also claimed for a new pair of trousers once as a farmers dog ripped the bottom 6 inches of my pants on another job, (He gave me a massive pack of steak from his farm shop to say nowt about though).

The massive pack of steak is my sort of expense claim!

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08th Nov 2017 17:25

In a previous life working for a company with a very high profile Chairman one of my jobs was to check employee expense claims. The Chairman's son, now infamous, worked there too and regularly claimed for a range of gentleman's magazines (a euphemism).

I did query the legitimacy (of the claim, not the content) with my manager. His view was that if we valued our jobs we should keep quiet and I have . . . oh damn.

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to andy.partridge
09th Nov 2017 09:20

By 'gentlemen's magazines', I assume he wasn't buying them for the articles...

Which is the classic defence for buying Playboy back in the day, since they actually did do some incredible journalism.

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to Francois Badenhorst
09th Nov 2017 09:57

I can not comment. I did not sit with him while he browsed.

I took it that he was 'flexing his muscles' (snigger) in the sense that it was so brazen to be almost a challenge to us. 'Go on, I dare you to say something and we'll see how it plays out'.

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08th Nov 2017 17:35

I used to sign off expenses claims in industry.......but were all pretty dull.

Usual attempts at golf days, long weekends on alleged business trips, ordering ludicrously expensive wine [we were strict half a bottle of house plonk per head kind of a set up], electronic gadgets, that sort of a thing.

No escorts or di*do's I am afraid.

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to ireallyshouldknowthisbut
09th Nov 2017 09:18

Haha the ol' "Business trip"! Anywhere good? Or were they always to somewhere underwhelming?

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09th Nov 2017 08:47

One Superman fancy dress suit (adult size)
claimed by a sales manager, apparently to reward the best sales person of the month.

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to Chipette
09th Nov 2017 09:16

You sure it was fancy dress? Might've been the real Clark Kent's suit!

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to Francois Badenhorst
09th Nov 2017 09:47

Genuine fancy dress from Argos. I wasn't told whether the recipient had to wear it or not for the rest of the conference ;-)

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By Matrix
09th Nov 2017 10:53

The accounts I am currently working on - the self-assessment tax bill was charged as a PAYE expense. I don't really know how they expected me not to spot this.

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to Matrix
09th Nov 2017 11:04

With tax season coming, there's probably gonna be a few more of these clangers, no doubt?

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09th Nov 2017 11:38

When I was a trainee one client claimed a brothel as « entertaining ». It’s a good thing that my boss was familiar with the establishment and spotted the error.

More recently we had a client selling adult toys (some of them extremely adult). These were genuine cost of sale but there was often interesting sales literature from their suppliers accompanying the invoices.

Oh, and of course the client who tried to put his entire new house through as it included a home office.

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By gphemy
to HudsonCo
09th Nov 2017 12:43

It would have been mid 1990s, we had completed a privatisation-related project in an Eastern European country for one of the international funding agencies, but the bill was long overdue. I was asked to chase them, as I had the closest contact with the agency in question. Duly made the innocent phone call...

Agency felt unable to pay the bill due to the inclusion in the billed expenses of a "nightclub" bill. In Bangkok. Incurred by the local COO of our local office in said Eastern European country. Oops, he must have thought it would go through without question. Which it did - nobody in the office dared to question it, but they did pass it through verbatim!

It was an entertaining follow-up call I had with the Managing Partner, to explain why I had agreed to write off a chunk of the receivable.

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to HudsonCo
09th Nov 2017 13:17

I'm now intrigued by what constitutes an 'adult' toy as opposed to 'extremely' adult!

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By kar999
to HudsonCo
09th Nov 2017 13:53

A senior manager flew out to the Philippines to entertain some VIPs who expected to be wined and dined followed by a visit to the local brothel.

The manager was advised by his fellow colleagues, more accustomed to conducting business in the country, to claim the latter as "Hire of Local Labour".

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By mrme89
09th Nov 2017 13:01

Not expense claims, but claims from tenants.

I recently worked for a social landlord and some of the claims tenants made were ridiculous.

An example is one of our electricians going out to a repair. The tenant called to say that the electrician knocked the switch on the fridge freezer turning it off and it had ruined their food. Their claim was for reimbursement of the food ... lobster, 18oz rib eye steaks etc. The food claim was for around £600, and my employer settled.

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09th Nov 2017 15:19

My client (film director) regularly claimed for his wife's hairdressing and beauty salon treatments as she had to look her best at all times.

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By Briar
09th Nov 2017 16:06

One client claimed a breast enhancement which his wife (and business partner) had had done. They ran a nursing home so it was in medical consultancy expenses. Me, being a sceptic, a quick Google of the clinic's name revealed what the clinic specialised in. Next time I met the wife, I admit to looking closely.

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to Briar
09th Nov 2017 16:19

Did I hear you right? Blow job was it?

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to andy.partridge
09th Nov 2017 16:21

Haha, alas no. It's our swear filter that has picked up an inoffensive word. I've edited it for clarity.

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By JRVA
27th Nov 2017 19:25

One client who works on stages and stage lighting once tried to claim red satin bedding sheets, a 'Kinky Boots' dvd and a [***] pump! Ahem, they were given back in a sealed envelope.

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By DJKL
27th Nov 2017 19:42

Nothing exotic but did pick up during an audit (we also dealt with tax) some airfares to USA for a marketing launch re golf clothing the company made, nothing special except the tickets filed clearly showed that about six of the twelve pax on this excursion were children, they did not do a children's range of clothing , the trip was Florida, it took place during school holidays,the wives (also directors) went and the directors had in aggregate ,by chance ,six children.

There also used to be a lot of payments to famous golfers but they were legit but interesting (wore the clothes x times etc)

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