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Strange things in clients receipts

What is the strangest additional item in a bag of receipts

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What is the strangest thing you've found in a clients bag of receipts?

This year we've had a flattened box of corn flakes complete with all its contents, a handful of salted? peanuts and the latest find is 5 viagra tablets. What made the latest find so funny is the client has 6 children - perhaps his wife hid the remaining tablets with the receipts knowing he would never look in there. 

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Oaklea
By Chris.Mann
30th Jan 2020 14:45

Sand and peat, in an old fashioned garden nursery's records.

I also have a carpet fitter, who's a heavy smoker. Oh, well, that really is something to behold, when you open each monthly folder???

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Replying to Chris.Mann:
Dog
By ClaireB
31st Jan 2020 11:54

I get a lovely waft of the salon when I open my hairdresser's books. Always reminds me to book a haircut.

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Replying to Chris.Mann:
ALISK
By atleastisoundknowledgable...
01st Feb 2020 14:46

Chris.Mann wrote:

I also have a carpet fitter, who's a heavy smoker. Oh, well, that really is something to behold, when you open each monthly folder???

Had that with a garage

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Scooby
By gainsborough
30th Jan 2020 15:12

A client once set me a lock of hair in a separate envelope enclosed with the documents (no, she wasn't a hairdresser). Our receptionist opened it and gave me a very strange look as she handed it over.

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Replying to gainsborough:
Lone Wolf
By Lone_Wolf
30th Jan 2020 15:28

Nothing beats a good old fashioned nutcase as a client :)

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Red Leader
By Red Leader
30th Jan 2020 15:18

The correct information.

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By jannerdunk
30th Jan 2020 15:19

Just a few memorable ones:-

1 - A clients HIV test results - Thankfully negative
2 - A note from the soon to be ex wife stating in no uncertain terms why she was leaving him
3 - A clients topless holiday photos on the same memory stick as her accounting records
4 - Used Tea-bags

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Replying to jannerdunk:
Lone Wolf
By Lone_Wolf
30th Jan 2020 15:29

jannerdunk wrote:

3 - A clients topless holiday photos on the same memory stick as her accounting records

Ahem! I feel you have to provide some evidence here...
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Replying to Lone_Wolf:
By ireallyshouldknowthisbut
30th Jan 2020 15:48

One hopes (3) did not resemble (4)

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Replying to jannerdunk:
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By AWeb72
31st Jan 2020 12:01

3) Reminds me not of a client, but someone I used to work for from his home office. So the computer I used was on a small network. Being nosey one day I looked in the Photos folder of the other computer and saw photos of his wife which would certainly belong in Readers Wives!!!

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Replying to jannerdunk:
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By AWeb72
31st Jan 2020 12:02

(duplicate)

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ALISK
By atleastisoundknowledgable...
30th Jan 2020 17:34

My best are:

1. Labour discharge notes. Not a nice read.
2. A bag of white powder (smelt like washing powder), which burst all over our carpet. Mrs ALISK was somewhere below impressed.

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Hallerud at Easter
By DJKL
30th Jan 2020 18:49

What looked distinctly (word is apt re aroma) like flecks of cowdung on a plastic bag into which bundles of receipts had been packed- it was a dairy farm and they posted us in the books from quite far away and obviously agricultural quality plastic is strong to ensure package did not rip in transit, however as back then when it came in it went in my steel cupboard beside my desk the aroma did encourage me to crack on with their accounts quickly so that books could be returned as soon as possible- maybe their plan.

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By MECtax
31st Jan 2020 00:46

I had a hairdresser client who wrote her takings in a diary - along with her current weight every Friday! Not sure the diet was working!

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Quack
By Constantly Confused
31st Jan 2020 08:25

Not so much found in records, but a client once sent me a letter which had a red thumb-print next to his signature. To this day I hope it was ink... but given how odd the rest of the letter was I often wonder if it was some other fluid.

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By [email protected]
31st Jan 2020 10:06

Valuable paper currency from around the world.

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By sallyrichardson
31st Jan 2020 10:09

I've had a mixture of fortunes...

A £10 note (which I promptly returned to the client)
A lottery ticket that would have won £28 but was out of date
A season ticket to the local tank museum
A bag of dried up dog poo. No - not kidding!

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By Denzil
31st Jan 2020 10:16

My best are:

1. A piece of paper with a username & password for an online dating website and also details about flight times and days he could go to Bangkok.
2. Clothes pegs

I occasionally find nuts, bolts, drill bits & screws in a bag handed in by a builder/joiner etc...

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By baktax
31st Jan 2020 10:17

A receipt for a child's toy hammer from a plumber.

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@enanen
By enanen
31st Jan 2020 10:20

Cash and Condoms.

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By [email protected]
31st Jan 2020 10:27

Why did you only count the [***] tablets?

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By Susan Keane
31st Jan 2020 10:27

Receipt for black ribbed condoms (from a business trip) and from another client, some dog food tin labels all flattened out.

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By DTB27
31st Jan 2020 10:39

I once had an elderly locum GP client, his records came in a carrier bag. When the bag was emptied on my desk there were:

1) a various assortment of tablets including, [***], anti-depresents, sedatives, very strong pain killers and some I couldn't find out the details of.
2) used tissues, some with obvious bloodstains on, some with other dried fluids!!
3) scabs and other large flakes of what looked (from a distance) to be skin.
4) an assortment of body hair.

Needless to say the client was contacted immediately and warned that the state of his records was unacceptable. Also the desk was promptly wiped down, disinfected twice and, fairly soon after, replaced.

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Replying to DTB27:
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By rosataylor
31st Jan 2020 16:17

I never accept a bag of receipt. I always ask them to tidy them in a file.
I Never charge much but will not put up with messy records.

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By David Gordon FCCA
31st Jan 2020 10:57

Some years ago a terrible smell permeated our office.
We traced it to a client's bank statements.
I called him asking what on earth had he done to us?
Sheepishly he apologised. Apparently the statements had been spread out on his floor and the cat had pee'd all over them.

Thanks (3)
By 0098087
31st Jan 2020 11:18

Once there was a rubber ball, it was thrown around the office and ended up out of the window, one colleague looked down and a chap was looking up scratching his head!!

Thanks (1)
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By AWeb72
31st Jan 2020 11:58

Next to a date in the diary "Birthday Blow Job"

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By PitiBev
31st Jan 2020 12:49

In a very large bag of filthy receipts, hiding at the bottom, was a flattened dead mouse !!
Well, not actually hiding as that would then be a non-dead mouse.
I refused to to that job.
Oh - and one client used to record his income and expenses in a diary and each time he paid HMRC, the diary entry read ''Thieving B*****ds''

Thanks (1)
Replying to PitiBev:
ALISK
By atleastisoundknowledgable...
01st Feb 2020 14:45

PitiBev wrote:

each time he paid HMRC, the diary entry read ''Thieving B*****ds''

I used to have a client who wrote that in his chq books

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By [email protected]
31st Jan 2020 13:02

2 sets of books!

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Replying to [email protected]:
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By rosataylor
31st Jan 2020 16:15

I thought only Chinese keeps 2 sets of books.
I know this for a fact. Not UK though.

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By SteveHa
31st Jan 2020 13:27

Receipts for adult toys and gentlemen's clubs of ill repute.

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By snickersinatwix
31st Jan 2020 14:58

School photo of my client's child all nicely framed.

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By rocket_queen
31st Jan 2020 18:52

One particular client, over several occasions has sent in receipts for various sex toys including restraints, his subscription to a popular swingers website and leather womens underwear.

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boxfile
By spilly
01st Feb 2020 09:55

The worst was the odd maggot or worm stuck to a receipt and a few more live wrigglers at the bottom of the box from a fishing tackle shop. The smell wasn’t great either.
We’ve also found a nipple tassel (just the one) and t*t tape in with the paperwork from a burlesque dancer.
Oddest was a last will and testament - unsigned though.

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counting
By Counting numbers
12th Feb 2020 13:33

Oh how I love opening a box of receipts. Here are a few highlights -

A banana skin (smelt it before I found it)
A child's dummy
A pregnancy test (negative)
Tissues (used)
An envelope with a significant amount of cash inside (returned to client)

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