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Weirdest receipt filed by a client

Weirdest receipt filed by a client

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What's the weirdest, most bizarre, or just plain odd expense a client has tried to claim, or receipt they've handed in? 

We may have had a thread on this before but I wanted to see if clients had thrown anything new up this/last year...

The best will feature in a round-up article in a few weeks' time! 

Replies (72)

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By nogammonsinanundoubledgame
06th Jan 2015 12:00

Not quite a "receipt", but ...

We did have a client who coded all expenses to T1 in Sage, and claimed back the Input VAT on, ... wait for it ...

Depreciation

Wages

Interest

Corporation Tax

and anything else you care to mention.

With kind regards

Clint Westwood

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By ShirleyM
06th Jan 2015 12:07

Children's clothing ...

.... and ladies lingerie!

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RLI
By lionofludesch
06th Jan 2015 12:09

Enthusiastic

Yes, I too have seen some over enthusiastic input tax recovery in my time.

The best one I've seen was a publican who claimed back his entire VAT payment as Input Tax in the subsequent quarter.

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By Craigie_Bhoy
06th Jan 2015 12:15

Love it!

lionofludesch wrote:

Yes, I too have seen some over enthusiastic input tax recovery in my time.

The best one I've seen was a publican who claimed back his entire VAT payment as Input Tax in the subsequent quarter.

That's a brilliant one :)

And are you trying to tell me that ladies lingerie isnt an allowable business expense???????

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By TerryD
06th Jan 2015 12:11

Many years ago I acted for a company run by an Italian gentleman with close ties to his "family" back in Sicily. Hidden in Sundries was an invoice for the cost of an artificial leg: on enquiry, it turned out that the recipient of the leg was a customer who was a habitually bad payer and had suffered a freak accident with a sledge hammer........

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By TerryD
06th Jan 2015 12:12

Did any of these guys get away with their novel interpretations of the VAT rules?

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RLI
By lionofludesch
06th Jan 2015 13:07

Yes

TerryD wrote:

Did any of these guys get away with their novel interpretations of the VAT rules?

Yes - until he brought his books in to have his accounts prepared.

I have to say that this was in the early days of VAT, back in the 1970s.

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By taxation4
06th Jan 2015 12:32

Weird receipt

I once had a joiner who had a receipt for an STD clinic in amongst his papers!

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By craig__2k4
06th Jan 2015 12:52

Deoderant

I had a client who claimed for a monthly subscription of about £20 for a "scientifically proven" deodorant which instantly makes women attracted to you.

Not sure how many women hang around building sites nowadays.

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By sumo69
06th Jan 2015 12:56

Woof!

I had a client who worked from home as an IT bod and also was a delivery driver with his own vehicle.

He gave me all his receipts for vet bills, dog food etc as he believed his dog was principally a guard dog for his home office and the van when out doing his rounds - he was incidentally a pet per the client.

It wasn't a Doberman, Alsation or anything "substantial", but a miniature Yorkshire Terrier!!

David

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By Fenella
14th Jan 2015 11:15

Actually my Jack Russell/Chihauhau cross is the only security my van needs - she won't let me in it sometimes! Small dogs are the worst....

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By andrew.hyde
14th Jan 2015 11:44

Strange name for a pooch.

Fenella wrote:

Actually my Jack Russell...

 Better than 'Tyson' I suppose.

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By Fenella
15th Jan 2015 12:56

Ha ha ha

andrew.hyde wrote:

Fenella wrote:

Actually my Jack Russell...

 Better than 'Tyson' I suppose.

 

Ha ha just got it!

 

Her name in reality is Gnasher, so nearly Tyson....give a dog a bad name....

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PJ
By paulgrca.net
06th Jan 2015 13:00

Running Machine

£5k spent on a running machine because the client had been advised to lose weight by his doctor.

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By Briar
06th Jan 2015 13:17

5000 sq meters of carpet

I asked why the factory would buy 5000 sq meters of carpet and where it was. It transpired (after insistent enquiry) that it was for local mosque and this was a way of getting the VAT back.

Also, I once came across an invoice from a clinic which (after searching the internet) was obviously a  breast implant for the wife of the client - It was in repairs and renewals! I looked at her carefully next time we met.

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By Democratus
06th Jan 2015 13:46

@ Briar - the treatment

Briar wrote:

Also, I once came across an invoice from a clinic which (after searching the internet) was obviously a  breast implant for the wife of the client - It was in repairs and renewals! I looked at her carefully next time we met.

Back in the old day this would have been accounted for under the inflation rules.....

 

 

tumbleweed slowly drifts by...................

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By airgeadagam
14th Jan 2015 11:32

The company went bust sometime later.

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By airgeadagam
14th Jan 2015 11:37

the treatment

Democratus wrote:

Briar wrote:

Also, I once came across an invoice from a clinic which (after searching the internet) was obviously a  breast implant for the wife of the client - It was in repairs and renewals! I looked at her carefully next time we met.

Back in the old day this would have been accounted for under the inflation rules.....

 

 

tumbleweed slowly drifts by...................

 

The company went bust sometime later.

 

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By sosleepy
06th Jan 2015 13:30

Receipt

I was doing the accounts for a builder a few months ago and among his paperwork was a receipt for groceries from Tesco!

Yes I know that's hysterical, but it gets even funnier! One of the things he'd bought there was a box of Corn Flakes!!! Oh my, I'm in tears of laughter at the mere memory of it!

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By BananaMan
06th Jan 2015 13:47

I must have really boring clients

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By martin.curtis
06th Jan 2015 14:10

Broken wind £50 Mrs Smith

A few years back I was preparing some trading accounts for a big, burly tree surgeon. All was going well until I came a across a receipt which simply said ' Broken wind £50, Mrs Smith'

All sorts of things crossed my mind, in fact mainly I had a vision of a Mrs Smith lying prostrate in her garden whilst Mr Client revived her with tenners after he had caused her to faint with a particularly loud or repugnant 'bottom burp'. Was this allowable, would it pass the 'wholly and exclusively' test?

The truth was in fact much less colourful; it turned out that whilst my client was sawing off a branch it fell and broke a neighbours window and the £50 was compensation

Phew!

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By andy.partridge
06th Jan 2015 14:39

Magazines

I had an expense claim from the a member of a world-famous publishing magnate's family that contained all his receipts for girlie magazines. It was going to take a brave person to disallow them.

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Flag of the Soviet Union
By thevaliant
06th Jan 2015 14:49

Saturday shop

I've seen clients:

Just deliberately go for it. Saturday shops, personal items whatever, all just claimed through the business (Ltd company) - sundry was insanely high, usually 6 figure sums - I don't think they had any personal expenditure at all. They had a company credit card and used it for everything. They don't care. Just consider it a game to see if we can find it all.

 

Insurance Premium Tax recovered on VAT return (why not hey?)

 

 

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By Moonbeam
06th Jan 2015 15:03

Typos

Many years ago when I was temping in a merchant bank, an invoice came in from an odd job man who'd clearly been asked to do a bit of plumbing, and to sort out various problems with cupboards.

The invoice had been typed up badly by the sort of person who doesn't believe checking is necessary. Many words had, as Eric Morecambe might have put it "most of the right letters" but not necessarily in the right order.

There were repairs to the snik.

We also had repairs to the Fling Cupboard, which had my boss in stitches for days after this, and he never referred to it as anything else thereafter. I think it's a great name to describe how people often use cupboards!

 

 

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By ShirleyM
06th Jan 2015 15:30

Love it :)

Moonbeam wrote:

Many years ago when I was temping in a merchant bank, an invoice came in from an odd job man who'd clearly been asked to do a bit of plumbing, and to sort out various problems with cupboards.

The invoice had been typed up badly by the sort of person who doesn't believe checking is necessary. Many words had, as Eric Morecambe might have put it "most of the right letters" but not necessarily in the right order.

There were repairs to the snik.

We also had repairs to the Fling Cupboard, which had my boss in stitches for days after this, and he never referred to it as anything else thereafter. I think it's a great name to describe how people often use cupboards!

This sort of thing really tickles me. Maybe that's why I loved Morecambe & Wise so much. One of the best scenes, apart from Mr Preview's scene, was the breakfast scene put to 'the stripper' music.

I'll be thinking of the fling cupboard for days now. :)

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By andy.partridge
06th Jan 2015 15:22

Photographer

A photographic shoot was put down as advertising and promotion. I was thinking 'hmmm, for the website, maybe, a brochure, business cards?'

Being curious and suspicious I wondered if looking at the photographer's website might help. Basically he was a portrait photographer and amongst the recent testimonials was a set of photographs of my client's 4 year old child. Coincidence, of course.

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By andy.partridge
06th Jan 2015 15:52

Silk tie

Supposedly wholly and exclusively for a meeting with the bank manager.

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By andy.partridge
06th Jan 2015 15:57

Entertaining

One consultancy client asserted that all his entertainment was tax-deductible because schmoozing was the chief tool of his trade. 

 

Edit - I'm just filling in until Peter Saxton wakes up.

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By JSK
06th Jan 2015 16:22

Tights

Clients claimed she needed these for business meetings so they are a business expense. 

The client in question was an interior designer. 

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By Flash Gordon
06th Jan 2015 18:23

Hair & beauty

Client said she needed haircuts and beauty products for her work - she worked in a call centre...

Mean old Flash took them out. Every single one. 

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By pawncob
06th Jan 2015 20:40

And why not?

Weirdest was an "escort" who claimed for a gross of condoms. (And yes, I decided they were allowable)

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By Chipette
07th Jan 2015 11:03

Cat flea treatment

the cat slept on the settee in the client's office...

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By Ann Lovatt
07th Jan 2015 12:03

Helicopter?

I once had a builder/ property developer who tried to claim his helicopter and all associated aerodrome costs as research for new building sites........this actually went to review with HMRC (by senior partner of the firm I was working for at the time) as client was so adamant on it being "wholly & exclusively" for his trade? 

Needless to say it was thrown out after the Inspector picked himself up off the floor!

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By andyjdicker
07th Jan 2015 14:00

Maybe

Ann Lovatt wrote:

I once had a builder/ property developer who tried to claim his helicopter and all associated aerodrome costs as research for new building sites........this actually went to review with HMRC (by senior partner of the firm I was working for at the time) as client was so adamant on it being "wholly & exclusively" for his trade? 

Needless to say it was thrown out after the Inspector picked himself up off the floor!

Should have put it through, then stung him with a massive BIK bill.... ;)

(only joking!!)

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By lh3f9764bg1g
07th Jan 2015 12:07

ahem!

My weirdest ever . . . . an invoice for several thousand pounds for the (ahem) straightening of (ahem!) an appendage . . . . .

Needless to say . . . . . this was not claimed and we never actually broached the subject with the client.

Ahem!

C.

 

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della hudson
By Della Hudson
07th Jan 2015 12:08

Brothel

When I was a trainee a certain club was listed as "entertaining" by a client. My boss recognised it as a local brothel

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By Red Leader
07th Jan 2015 12:16

clients are easily confused

"You can claim a business expense but you should have a receipt",

is interpreted as:

"You can claim anything for which you have a receipt".

Big difference.

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By Psyche
07th Jan 2015 14:11

Receipts

Red Leader wrote:

"You can claim a business expense but you should have a receipt",

is interpreted as:

"You can claim anything for which you have a receipt".

Big difference.

Indeed. I was doing a self assessment return for a makeup artist client and noticed she must have had an awful lot of jobs out of town, based on all the subsistence receipts she had put through... when I queried it she admitted she had just given me ALL of her receipts for EVERYTHING and expected me to know which were for food on a shoot and which were her own groceries!

And then there was the client who was a burlesque dancer. Did someone mention ladies' lingerie as a business expense? :)

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By waltere
07th Jan 2015 12:24

How brave of your boss...

@HudsonCo - How brave of your boss to admit that he (or maybe she?) recognised not just the name of the club in question but also its true function ;-)

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By gary_taylor
07th Jan 2015 12:38

Company vehicle from Mothercare

I used to act for a client who maintained his own manual cash book. The client would then take the bottom total and claim back VAT on the whole figure. The client had a VAT visit from a very experienced inspector who recognised quite quickly what the client had done. He called over to the client and talked him through the process. The payments included the settlement of the clients Amex bill. The VAT inspector pulled out the bill and highlighted a charge for a pram purchased from Mothercare with the question “is this a company vehicle sir?”. It was added back.

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By The Naked Accountant
07th Jan 2015 12:59

Implants

Had a client who was a stripper and wanted to claim for a boob job.  Of course, I had to perform a physical asset verification first.

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By Susan Keane
07th Jan 2015 13:01

Receipt

I remember years ago a receipt for a packet of black ribbed condoms among a clients travel expenses for a long business trip. The wife (for whom we also acted) wasn't on the trip. I "accidentally" lost the receipt and didn't mention to anyone...

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By jndavs
07th Jan 2015 13:28

That's terrible

Susan Keane wrote:

I remember years ago a receipt for a packet of black ribbed condoms among a clients travel expenses for a long business trip. The wife (for whom we also acted) wasn't on the trip. I "accidentally" lost the receipt and didn't mention to anyone...

What if he needed to take them back?

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By edrogers
07th Jan 2015 15:04

Childrens Swimming lessons

I am aware of a client handled by a colleague who was notorious for trying to claim for everything. One of the strangest items were children's swimming lessons. Quite how that related to his work of selling double glazing was beyond us.

Oh, and the occasional Saturday afternoon Cinema ticket was also considered unusual.

I have also come across the apparently now common: Helicopter for builders, Seaside Caravans (clients work nowhere near the coast), Quad-bikes, Pool-tables (again a builder), VAT claims on VAT payments, 'kinky' shop receipts. The list goes on...

Mind you, the thing that gets me are the regular iPad purchases in mid-December, and not just because of a personal vendetta I have against Apple.

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By BananaMan
07th Jan 2015 14:56

e-vendetta

edrogers wrote:

not just because of e personal vendetta I have against Apple.

 

Is an e personal vendetta specific to electronic retailers?

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By edrogers
07th Jan 2015 15:07

iVendetta

BananaMan wrote:

edrogers wrote:

not just because of e personal vendetta I have against Apple.

 

Is an e personal vendetta specific to electronic retailers?

Well spotted, and duly corrected. I'm using a rubbish wireless keyboard today that caused the error.

However you raise a good point, perhaps I have an iVendetta?

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By SThornton
08th Jan 2015 11:06

If you had an Apple one, it would have worked.

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By sharonm1
07th Jan 2015 13:06

Using bank statements as records

One of my clients uses his bank statements as his records and so everything that goes out was included in purchases for VAT even (especially) his own drawings and he just worked out the 20% and claimed it in his returns! As I get no explanations I spend a lot of time googling company names to find out whether the expense could be business so I now know that porn[***][***] channels use an innocuous sounding business name presumably so your bank manager/accountant/spouse don't know what you're paying for!  

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By Tim1
07th Jan 2015 13:32

Have a client who tried to claim for a pair of Christian Louboutin high heeled shoes, quite what he needed those for on an oil rig in the middle of the North Sea, one can only imagine

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By myn
07th Jan 2015 14:14

Excess ducks...

...an essential part of business entertaining, if your clients are the sort of chaps to go on a duck shoot, and they turn out to be good shots.

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