What's the weirdest, most bizarre, or just plain odd expense a client has tried to claim, or receipt they've handed in?
We may have had a thread on this before but I wanted to see if clients had thrown anything new up this/last year...
The best will feature in a round-up article in a few weeks' time!
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Souped up car
In an old job, had a guy which had some kind of souped up Nissan drag car. Everything was claimed as business expense, and worse still was claimed for flat rate VAT on any car part over £2,000.
It wasn't capital, it wasn't buiness, and it was about 30k+ each year...every year.
He 'claimed' it was for advertising, as he would take clients out and thats how he got his business.
I hated doing the guys accounts, luckly I was only an employee.
Souped up beat HMRC
Actually, I vaguely remember reading a case where a chap doing a very similar thing challenged HMRC and won on this.
HMRC claimed that the racing was purely for his enjoyment.
He managed to show them that yes, although he did race, he didn't 'enjoy' it as much as some other expensive hobby he had (for which he did not claim). He was also able to show that he didn't spend as much time racing as he could, and that it actually produced business for him.
Polo horses
I had a client who was in the hospitality business, wanted to put his polo team through as 'Marketing'. Bless.
familar
I had a client who was in the hospitality business, wanted to put his polo team through as 'Marketing'. Bless.
Ah yes, the old 'my racehorse (etc) is a marketing/advertising expense' arguement..
...
A receipt for 'Darker Enterprises' when googled it was found to be a wesbite for 'adult toys'
Focused advertising
As I get no explanations I spend a lot of time googling company names to find out whether the expense could be business so I now know that [***] channels use an innocuous sounding business name presumably so your bank manager/accountant/spouse don't know what you're paying for!
A receipt for 'Darker Enterprises' when googled it was found to be a wesbite for 'adult toys'I understand that Google retains some info on searches to better select ads for that IP address on sites that use their ad-streaming services. I think AccountingWeb uses them sometimes. Is it more exciting for the pair of you now? ;-)
Farmer
One farmer brought his invoices in and among them was a lab report for a bull's sperm test. In case you're interested the extraction method was described as 'manual' and the available ratings for quality were 'watery', 'milky' and 'creamy'.
Abortion
Whilst training in practice many years ago a director of one of our clients tried to put the cost of an abortion through the books.
As this was a family company goodness knows what the other family members thought.
Fridge
As a very young and inexperienced auditor, I queried the client's purchase of a refrigerator. I glowed red when he said it was for keeping the bodies in as they start to get a bit high in the summer. It was a funeral director. Never lived it down.
Asset Enhancement
We have a female entertainer who had claimed 50% of the cost of a breast enhancement. Her earnings shot up after the procedure which she said made her much more confident. She was on enquiry when she came to us and the Inspector (remember them?) said there was no way this was allowable. We said he should wait until he met her, which he did and then allowed the claim. Not sure a female inspector would have been so forgiving!
Which?
We have a female entertainer who had claimed 50% of the cost of a breast enhancement. Her earnings shot up after the procedure which she said made her much more confident. She was on enquiry when she came to us and the Inspector (remember them?) said there was no way this was allowable. We said he should wait until he met her, which he did and then allowed the claim. Not sure a female inspector would have been so forgiving!Was it the left one or the right one that was for business purposes?
Extra curricular activities
I was sat with a husband and wife client running through queries and brought up one £50 on sundries. The writing in the cash book was not clear - I laughingly said that it looked like "prostitute" to me.
It was!! Apparently the husband had been caught out and the wife, who did the books, insisted that it went in the cash book to balance petty cash!!
Cue awkward silence....................
3 gross of Condoms . . .
Receipt for 3 gross condoms in materials. Client gave a fully detailed explanation, showing photos of them in use and even taking me to the workshops for a demonstration . . . . . .
. . . . . . client was in underwater salvage and used them to waterproof explosive charges planted on the wreckage being recovered.
Why, what were you thinking?
Rubber thingies
. . . . . . client was in underwater salvage and used them to waterproof explosive charges planted on the wreckage being recovered.
Yes but why did he need whisky flavoured?
Leaving that aside, many years ago I remember a claim by an actor (sadly now long deceased ) for a new set of false teeth, because the old set were ill-fitting and causing a slight lisp (lithp?). HMRC pointed out, non entirely unreasonably I think, that some private benefit may also have accrued from the expense.
Photography ...
Not to lower the tone - but one of our "photographer" clients recently sent in receipts for gimp masks, pony outfits ... and a drill !!!
Kind regards :-)
Not claimed but in the receipts was one for a golden rabbit. After retrieving the books and records post accounts, the client must have checked through, and then rang to apologise for any embarassment that finding the receipt may have caused. How nice!
Apart from that, the usual stuff of trying to put everything and anything through the books and a £½m yacht (which HMRC were persuaded to allow 50% running costs).
I now have an exotic dancer on the books and am looking forward to those receipts and instructing a member of staff to confirm the fair market value of the assets.
It's not so much the weirdness of the receipts, it's the story
Without going into too much detail, the story the expenses *tell* is the killer, where the client directors (quoted plc ...) think no one looks, don't think, or are simply so arrogant and greedy they stick anything they can down.
So once you stick all the claims together, you see who stayed where, in whose room, what they had for breakfast together, how they travelled separately to get there etc etc ...
Divorce lawyers' pandora's box. =)
And then there's the director's car filled up with petrol on the director's fuel card in one city whilst you and the director were both sitting in another city on the other side of the country. Forging a signature isn't generally a good idea.
Receipt of Ill Repute
I once noticed an old company expense claim somewhere I worked where the employee had claimed for an expense which I questioned. The FC went a bit quiet and advised my suspicions were correct that the claim was for entertaining the customer by buying prostitutes.
Apparently it was the done thing when trying to win a facility contract off a large supermarket.
I left soon after.
Neigh sir!
A client puts the stabling/livery costs for his child's horse through as 'marketing expenses'.
Engagement Ring
Had a receipt for an Engagement Ring amongst many others that were not at all business related. Just added many more hours to my work to sort through them.
Ladies shoes - oil rig
I have also had claim for ladies designer shoes amongst expenses claims - maybe more happens on the oil rigs than we would expect - the mind boggles!