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You know you're an accountant when...

You know you're an accountant when...

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For a bit of Friday fun (and for a potential article) I'm really curious; what would you say the main 'signs' you are an accountant?

For example, you know you're an accountant when during tax season you start to dream about cascades of receipts... 

I'm sure you can all do a lot better than me. Obviously this is for fun, so please feel free to be creative. 

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01st May 2015 10:45

...

your email signature says "Accountant" after your name.

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01st May 2015 10:52

When


Every place you visit you wonder how much profit they make!

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By Duhamel
01st May 2015 10:53

When you name your calculator
.

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01st May 2015 10:53

Front of the building

There's a big sign out the front of the building that I work in that says "accountants". That is generally considered a hint.

There is also that rewrite of Mars Bonfire's most famous work that I did. I have been told that the use of debentures in a song lyric is most unusual. 

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01st May 2015 10:56

Cost

You work out the cost of everything

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By mrme89
01st May 2015 11:00

When you receive bad service somewhere and think "this would be a PITA client".

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By SteveOH
01st May 2015 11:01

Wallet

I'm sure that a dentist, when meeting someone new, will have a crafty look at the state of their teeth. I know I'm an accountant because I look at the size of their wallet.

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01st May 2015 11:07

When you understand VAT Partial Exemption..you try and explain this to your girlfriend...she leaves you!

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01st May 2015 11:10

Brilliant responses, thank you. 

And David, that's such a shame, I hope that didn't really happen! 

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01st May 2015 11:12

Counting Sheep?

<Edited>

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By Duhamel
01st May 2015 11:13

When you get asked to divide the bill and the tip
.

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01st May 2015 11:22

Solving the world's problems

When you think you could solve all the world's problems if you had a powerful enough calculator.

RM

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01st May 2015 11:28

You know you're an accountant when ...

... you feel compelled to finish a sentence.

Also, agree with poster re dividing the bill up. Everyone's got calculators on their phones these days but it's still ends up being the accountant's job.

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01st May 2015 11:38

You know you're an accountant when ...

1. You do the accounts for every charity in a 5 mile radius for a bottle of wine

2. You're appointed to keep the score card for every round of golf

3. Strangers sidle up to you at parties and say "How do I pay less tax?" (My stock answer is "Earn less money")

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By taxguru
01st May 2015 11:41

When your personality acts as an effective contraceptive!

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By Duhamel
01st May 2015 11:43

When you recognise colleagues
pseudonym's on AWeb.

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01st May 2015 11:46

When you know for sure....

... that you are not a 'typical accountant'.

But actually you are.

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01st May 2015 11:48

..No really perhaps it was more about her KPI's in general and a long term expectation that marginal costs would exceed marginal revenues...:-) 

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01st May 2015 11:54
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01st May 2015 13:02

when...
... you log into Xero before you've finished your first cup of tea
... you keep a laptop charger in your bedside table
... you marry a man because his birthday is 5 April

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By Pelican
01st May 2015 13:20

you keep the lottery kitty and football kitty because you're an accountant. 

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01st May 2015 13:49

Spreadsheets........

I have one for each drawer of my freezer which is then updated with every purchase in and withdrawal and then agree it to the stock tab 

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01st May 2015 14:51

Spreadsheets

teresaweezer wrote:

I have one for each drawer of my freezer which is then updated with every purchase in and withdrawal and then agree it to the stock tab 

 

When you have a spreadsheet to control your spreadsheets..

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By Eve E
01st May 2015 14:21

When.....
you spend your Friday night 'relax and wind down for the weekend dinner' with your husband (also an accountant) discussing the merits of transfer pricing......and ENJOY IT.

That and having a master list to coordinate sub-lists, and ditto on being the bill-splitter on nights out, I hate that job!

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01st May 2015 19:57

Merits!

Eve E wrote:
you spend your Friday night 'relax and wind down for the weekend dinner' with your husband (also an accountant) discussing the merits of transfer pricing......and ENJOY IT. That and having a master list to coordinate sub-lists, and ditto on being the bill-splitter on nights out, I hate that job!

Merits! I do find myself pointing out to people all of the things wrong with the way the media has reported all of that stuff recently ha

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01st May 2015 14:26

Takes me back!

Many, many years ago I remember sneaking into my girlfriend's bedroom one evening - in order to have a look at her copy of the Companies Act 1948.

It all ended well - she's been my wife for the past 35 years.

David

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01st May 2015 15:26

peek

davidwinch wrote:

Many, many years ago I remember sneaking into my girlfriend's bedroom one evening - in order to have a look at her copy of the Companies Act 1948.

It all ended well - she's been my wife for the past 35 years.

David

You sneaked into her bedroom to look at her what?

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01st May 2015 15:31

You know you're an accountant...

When asked to name a famous Doctor, the first name you come up with is Samadian.

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01st May 2015 15:43

James Reeves wins.

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By jndavs
01st May 2015 16:01

When
You can repeat all the HMRC 'on hold' messages word perfectly.

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01st May 2015 16:58

when

you calculate that buying your Tassimo coffee machine Costa Pods from Costco, in 5 a pack (with 16 pods per pack) of 'americano' pods rather than a 5 pack (8 pods per pack) of 'latte' pods works out to be 25p per pod rather than 56p pod (latte packs are more expensive hence the reason it isn't simply double the price...), whilst appreciating that the taste of the coffee isn't quite the same but is acceptable given the cost benefit...(I prefer latte)

Then realising that you have just said that out aloud by way of justifying that purchase...(thinking in your head "how sad am I!") - only to see your wife's facial expression saying exactly the same.... 

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01st May 2015 18:14

Your husband or wife says

I can't believe I married an accountant (true story :-)

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01st May 2015 18:21

When anybody mentions tax, you say "that's really interesting because..," and you then realise all has gone deathly quiet!

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By Melody
01st May 2015 22:44

Counting sheep means attending a farmer's stocktake!

Zzzzz! 

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01st May 2015 23:04

When...

...you log onto AWeb at 11pm on a Friday night to make sure you haven't missed anything :(

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02nd May 2015 00:27

try 00:27 :(

Kent accountant wrote:

...you log onto AWeb at 11pm on a Friday night to make sure you haven't missed anything :(

 

Wife is kipping (great for a <1 year newly wed) and I've just found out I am the stereotype with footy kitty and bill split duties. 

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02nd May 2015 12:11

When...

... you look in the mirror :(

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02nd May 2015 16:23

When . . .

 . . . you tip the waitress and wonder who the troncmaster is.

Yes, happened today, but I resisted asking.

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By CMED
02nd May 2015 21:36

When me and

andy.partridge go out for a meal and he doesn't ask who the troncmaster is and I think we should, but don't.

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By MSD1968
03rd May 2015 11:22

When actuaries make some sense
and you feel that they are good company. Apologies to any actuaries but security in stereotypical numbers!

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03rd May 2015 17:19

Exams with experience

You give up so much in your life at an early age to study and gain practical experience. 

Then you see so many calling themselves accountants without the exams or any fear of a prof body jumping on them. You wonder why you did what you did. May be there was no need? 

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03rd May 2015 22:33

In my case, I know I'm an accountant when…

… I've prepared the accounts of a furniture manufacturer or clothing importer or whatever, see how much these things cost in shops and then tell my missus I'm not going to be opening my wallet for that size of markup!

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By WongR
04th May 2015 00:01

Us tightwad accountants...

ming_the_reasonable wrote:

… I've prepared the accounts of a furniture manufacturer or clothing importer or whatever, see how much these things cost in shops and then tell my missus I'm not going to be opening my wallet for that size of markup!

 

I think you are more of the accountant if you:

a) use the information above to haggle  or:

b) ask the said clients to help you get a discounted good - given you know it would cost them very little to perform such a small favour for you :D

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03rd May 2015 23:20

Dates

... and not the getting of them!

When I see a date of death and an age in the news or in an article, I calculate back the year of their birth and then compare that with people I know.  Or in wikipedia if I see the date of birth and date of death I work out how old they were when they died (before looking at the answer).

Or if I see a date of birth I calculate their age now to work out whether I should take them seriously or not.

So I guess I'm either an accountant, or Rain Man.  Or just weird.

 

 

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By WongR
04th May 2015 00:08

For me...

As for me.... I know I'm a small self employed accountant, when every Friday, I dream of going out for late lunches, but instead end up spending most of it indoors cursing HMRC's introduction of the RTI system.  (and know its only going to get worse with AE).... 

 

And also... I plan my annual holidays looking at company year end filing dates... (and important tax dates too - now including RTI filing dates)

 

Too young to retire just yet... if only...

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