Born Dull?! Big Brother house

Kashflow logo
Share this content

They say variety is the spice of life. That is certainly true of the Big Brother house, in which the crazy mix of people makes the series strangely compelling and addictive. The subliminal advertising for the series is already in full swing.

So that got us thinking. If you could put anyone in the big brother house who would it be?

After much consideration and heated debate, the Born Dull?! team came up with their fantasy Big Brother contestants. For our choice read on - but we'd love to hear who you would put in the house.

Who would wind up who? Who might get together in a romantic clinch? Who would you evict? Who would nominate who? Who would get up Big Brothers nose? Who would lose it a la Vanessa Feltz? What tasks would you set them? Who would you vote for? What would you get your celebrit...

Please Login or Register to read the full article

The full article is available to registered members only. To read the rest of this article you’ll need to login or register. Registration is FREE and allows you to view all content, ask questions, comment and much more.


Please login or register to join the discussion.

By Anonymous
20th May 2005 11:47

My nomination would be...
....all the behind the scenes people who do work for Channel 4 in the vain hope that we wouldn't have this rubbish inflicted on our society for the whole summer.

Before anyone mentions the off switch or changing channels, the rest of the media will be delighted to jump on the Big Brother bandwagon instead of thinking and working themselves.

Thanks (0)
24th May 2005 15:22

In the House
How about these candidates?

Patrick -with trainers and suit or beachwear and black shoes and sand and gossip direct from the lurve island

Davina- good call, no more presenting for her ha ha

Dec and Ant -and this time they do all the challenges and the washing up

The House Doctor to boss everyone about and re-arrange the furniture

The Presidents of ICEAW and CAMI to form a housemates club

Mr Tweedle -whose challenge is to explain the importance of changing to IFRS to all of the other housemates so that they understand it

The Man behind the Crazy Frog -who will pay for all the texts sent to the show personally

Flavour- on condition he shuts up all the time except to recite Accounting Standards for Mr Tweddle

Bestie- to keep Pat company and reminisce about drink and women

Cheggers -to scare the ghosts away

Jimmy Fixit armed with a ticking stick to maintain order

Mr Pestcott to entertain everyone about the funniest bits of Hull

Presented by Julian Calry assisted by Terry Wonag on the voting

er That's it,
back to bean counting zzzzzzzzzzz

Thanks (0)
19th May 2005 18:23

I nominate Dan Brown
And his house mates should be

(hopefully they between them could provide the answers)

Jesus Christ
no introduction needed

Mary Magdalene
companion of Jesus according to Gnostic Gospels

Jacques de Molay
Grandmaster of Knights Templar at dissolution

Leonardo da Vinci
no introduction needed

I M Pei
architect of Louvre pyramid

Bérenger Saunière
Priest at Rennes-le-Château

Sir William St Clair
founder of Rosslyn chapel

Baigent, Leigh and Lincoln
authors of Holy Blood and Holy Grail

Thanks (0)
31st May 2005 13:28

Fantasy World
How about Gordon Brown?

He drafts all his legislation from his present 'unreal world', so being in another fantasy climate should provide him with lots of new convoluted ideas to confuse us with next year!

Thanks (0)
19th May 2005 10:23

I nominate George W. Bush...
...this is surely a lot safer than letting him continue to rule the "free" world!

Thanks (0)
17th May 2005 12:14

Lowering the tone
I think that there probably isn't much point in putting nice, intelligent, sensible people in there! The good bits aren't the conversations but the rows, the gossip and the bad behaviour!That's what makes big brother.
So just to lower the tone completely how about

Victoria Beckham (bun fight potential)
Rebecca Loos (see above)
Brad Pitt (for the ladies to oggle)
Tom Cruise (as above)
Derren Brown (to play mind tricks on them all)
Jean Christophe Novelli (talented chef in lots of ways!)
Mary Whitehouse (always outspoken)
Robbie Williams (wants to entertain us)
Angelina Jolie (wildchild and only fair for the menfolk to have something to oggle too)
Davina McColl (so that they have to find a different presenter)

Thanks (0)
By Anonymous
17th May 2005 13:43

lets make things interesting
the press has speculated that this is the year big brother goes european and everyone gets naked and 'gets down'. Hence my choices:

jenna jameson
that famous dwarf pornstar
pamela anderson
borris becker

with a guest appearance from vlad the impaler

i think that would give the secretly perverted british public exactly what they want.

Thanks (0)
17th May 2005 17:33

I nominate Ghandi
I would nominate Ghandi, because when you were doing challenges to win more food/supplies, he would be willing to sacrifice his ration for the greater good. Very noble.

Thanks (0)
By Anonymous
14th Jun 2005 11:07

the point is missed
we need a fantasy big brother of tedious accounting big cheeses.

i nominate P Wyman (aka Rowan Atkinson - hav they ever been seen 2gether?)

Dim Primarollo.

PCG Presidente

ACCA ch Exec

ICAEW presidente


oh and of course me - to inject some reality using somthing subtle like two fists and some head-banging.

Thanks (0)