A never-ending struggle with self-disclosure
To kick off Pride Month 2021, Ben Steele shares a personal story of navigating firms as an LGBT+ accountant over the last 15 years, leading to the creation of his own firm.
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It's amazing how times have changed. Twenty years ago I faced homophobic bullying at Grant Thornton, and that was from the Partners.
I'm sorry for what you have been through.
I stopped telling people I was trans (albeit what I have been told is 'trans-lite' given I dress when it suits, not because I want to transition or even dress full time - basically less Caitlyn Jenner and more Eddie Izzard) a couple of jobs ago - even then I only mentioned it to a select group of people. Every single one I have regretted telling, so now I just don't tell anyone.
I have never told anyone at work my sexuality as I've never needed to. I've brought both sexes to Christmas parties and similar and let people assume what they wanted.
Ben, great to share your story.
I think having a practice is a real issue with relationships generally as you can end up working ridiculous hours and being rather stressed, but as you say you can make it your own and do it your way which I love about having my own practice.
I think the world has improved hugely in the past 20 years on these issues but there is still a huge way to go when as you say there is still the "coming out" thing to deal with. My very first direct report in the late 90's had a same sex partner and whilst it was widely known about she never talked about it, and she referred to her partner as her "friend", never bought her to works do or anything. She was in her late 50's then and basically hidden it for years and was only then really being more open about it. I recall she was really pleased when a colleague my age then (early 20's) sat another young lady on her knee during the xmas party and made it quite clear they were a couple, which was quite a brave thing to do even in the last 90's.
Very brave sharing your story.
A friend of mine told his parents and they did not speak to him for a year.
Accountancy firms can be very narrow minded at times.
A great read. I was 19 in 1979 and was so scared to even mention the word Gay. I was quiet and reverted into my own world. Being quiet made me the [***] of many jokes in my first work place as a junior trainee. Being Gay held me back I didn't study however I worked hard. I would never tell my Boss , co-workers or clients I was Gay and I lived in a lonely world of total isolation. Even typing this causes tears. It was around two or three years ago when I took over the business that I once worked for that things changed although I am still embarrassed of my sexuality. Well this is my story and a true story.