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Blogger’s perspective

4th Mar 2013
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I admire all bloggers on AW because I think with blogging you are putting yourself out there taking a risk of not knowing how your blog will be received. Thankfully a large majority of people on AW are well adjusted and reasonable that makes blogging a lot easier.

Of course you get some comments that are just meant to annoy you, wind you up and just belittle you. That is part and parcel of a public forum. At times I wish those humiliating actually put themselves out there and blog. Armchair critics make my blood boil! 

I am just thinking what is it I get out of blogging? Is it worth my time? Is it purely for me to be recognised on AW?

Of course recognition does play a part in this. All bloggers want their blogs to be read and commented by maximum number of people. Hell I will be honest I do keep an eye on most read and most commented tabs.

I read the blogs higher up on the list and asked myself, what made that blog reach that status? Why was that topic so interesting to readers? What grabbed readers attention on this one? I look at the blogger writing style and see how he/she has come across. Is this the writer in me or is it the need for recognition? I think it is both.

What do I get out of blogging? I suppose it is an opportunity to get things off my mind. The process of writing is therapeutic. The added advantage is that the comments in the main tend to be helpful. They give me an angle that I did not think about.

There have been many times I have said to myself I really should stop blogging. I just come back to it! In the evening I just want to write. The question, I cannot work out is why don’t I just write and not blog ie not make it public? I think this because of the need to share and be recognised . Let’s be honest here, isn’t this why many people participate on AW? It is a human need to be recognised and to share.

Is blogging worth my time? I am not sure. I do not think it is. At the same time if I did not blog I would not get an opportunity to brain dump. 

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By Flash Gordon
05th Mar 2013 08:53

Quick observation

I'm supposed to be having a productive day so only a quick point - you say that armchair critics annoy you and they should put themselves out there and blog. But surely by commenting on your blog / questions they're effectively doing just that? They're putting themselves up for the same potential criticism, ridicule, and hostility that anyone who blogs does. Okay so their name isn't at the top of the page but it is by their comments. Particularly so with those who use their real name rather than an alias (yes folks Flash Gordon is my real name, my parents were so cruel!).

In the real world there are going to be nice people and nasty people, people who agree with you and people who don't and remarkably those roles will change at various times. Someone who winds me up at one point might be a real laugh or supportive at other times. Equally they might think i'm bang on the mark with one comment but acting like a real doofus with another (usually when it's something I feel passionate about) and they'll call me on it. If you can't take the rough with the smooth then don't post - you have to take control of your life not blame someone else when it doesn't go well. It's a bit like a Prime Minster complaining that they're getting grief in parliament - you want the job, you take the crap that comes with it.

Anyway I have 7 minutes to do some work and then I'm supposed to be studying. The day is not going to plan!

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By A mum and an accountant
05th Mar 2013 08:55

Keep blogging!
Its interesting to read about how you are getting on as a sole practioner as well as your personal stuff. It give me an idea as to what to expect if I do decide to do the same.

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 09:11

Disagreements
Thanks Lilac1 and Flash.

Flash I think differences of opinion are great. I am not talking about this.

I am we'll aware about the real world. I will have to put up on here with those who just belittle. Okay at times I lose it. I kick myself for taking the bait. This means they have won.

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By ShirleyM
05th Mar 2013 09:36

Tolerance

You can't pick & choose who you want to 'speak' to on a forum. That doesn't mean you have to tolerate abuse, and the moderators will step in where this happens.

People have different tolerance levels. I can be quite tolerant (most of the time) but some things really hit a nerve with me, so I will be less tolerant on those subjects and more easily upset.

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By Peter Bonetti
05th Mar 2013 11:56

Possibly harsh

I am not sure that anyone sets out to belittle anyone.

There will always be an element of setting yourself up to be shot at by posting a blog (and a reply too, as Flash points out) so you have, to an extent. to be prepared to encounter disagreement. That said, there's no reason why disagreement should be discourteous on either side.

Personally, from my observation, you have received a lot of very good advice from a lot of people who have been down paths before you. They may take a contrary position to you but that would seem to be an opportunity to probe them to find out why they had the experience they did rather than assume they think you're foolish.

It's my firm belief that everyone is here to help you when they can and views which differ from yours are a learning experience for both parties.

 

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 12:50

not harsh, incorrect

I agree I have received some comments that are worth a serious thought,  

I do not think that think majority posters perception of me is foolish at all. 

I love differing opinions 

There are one or two people here whose intention is to belittle. You are incorrect here. There is nothing than can be probed here.  

I do not get the point about setting myself up. Most of the time  I intentionally write about subjects that  I feel uncomfortable about. This blog is a good example of this. 

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By Flash Gordon
05th Mar 2013 13:09

Shot at

Anyone who puts any opinion in the public domain is setting themselves up to be shot at regardless of their intention, purely because opinions differ. If you put your head above the parapet then it can be shot at.

I disagree that you love differing opinions because you seemed to get upset when everyone said going with TAA was a bad move. No-one there was trying to offend you, belittle you or wind you up. You'd set out what your opinion was and we did the same. It just so happened that we all had the opposing view to yours. Like PB says, that was an opportunity to take the advice on board and query why we all thought differently. But you appeared to take it as a personal attack and refused to discuss it any further. If I posted that I was thinking of doing something that would cost me a small fortune I'd much rather have a couple of dozen people going 'for crying out loud Flash, don't do it' than all saying 'yeah great' and then it going belly up afterwards. That's the whole point of AWeb, you get to benefit from people who have been there done that and people who haven't been there but wouldn't go because of x, y and z that you might not have considered.

 

 

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By Peter Bonetti
05th Mar 2013 13:17

Different term

Maybe I should have said 'putting your head above the parapet' rather than setting up but all I meant is (as you acknowledge) you are inviting a response when you post.

Without getting into any kind of debate, I genuinely don't see anyone trying to belittle you. I see disagreement which can lead to a bit of incivility (from you too) but everyone starts trying to help.

Interestingly you don't ask why I don't think people are trying to belittle you, choosing rather to dismiss my opinion somewhat out of hand. Maybe you might like to make a conclusion about that?

Anyway, I've said my piece and taken the return fire so I'll leave you to it.

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 13:23

Yes Differing Opinions

I love differing constructive opinions.  

As I mentioned in my OP I am welll aware of the risks of a pubic forum. I also mentioned in my OP that vast majority of posters are more than okay.

On TAA blog post it turned out to a voting in the main rather than constructive views due to such a negative perception  of franchising. 

Also you will note that on TAA OP I did not ask for advice. I asked if people could offer any further information to aid my decision making. I was looking for further information of people's experience of TAA. In the main the responses were people's negative perception.

I was so hoping not to bring TAA blog post here.  

Of course Flash you are entitled to retain your opinion about me. 

 

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 13:29

My piece than back to work

Peter Bonetti  I do not need to ask it is just one to two people. It is so obvious, because you are not being belittled so you do not notice it.

I know everyone is trying to help and I always say thank you to all those people. 

We will agree to disagree and move on. 

 

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By Old Greying Accountant
05th Mar 2013 14:22

The easiest thing ...

... is to not respond.

If you know someone is tunnel visioned or thin skinned just don't post back. You know what they will say so don't give the opportunity.

Some people have different ways of speaking and the written word doesn't always convey that. You need to try and allow for this and the fact some people are very black and white so read the message and ignore the arrow it is tied to.

Not 100% with Flash, it is easy to comment on something and you only give yourself minimal exposure to flak. Some here may also post queries, but that isn't the same as posting a blog entry.

I suppose I was lucky as my Dad and Grandad used to argue quite vehemently about things, generally that black was white and vice versa so I have got immune to such things, although on the TAA thread some posts were in my view out of order.

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By ShirleyM
05th Mar 2013 14:48

You are too sensitive FT

If I think someone has sent a barbed comment in my direction I tend to look at their other comments to see if I am being singled out.

It is quite clear who you are referring to, and that person doesn't speak any differently to you than to any other person. You can choose to take the worst case, and consider they are deliberately belittling you, or you can consider their viewpoint, in that they may get frustrated because they don't seem able to get their message across. If you took the trouble to get to know people, they are often much nicer than the first impressions give.

I may, or may not, be one of the people you think belittle you. I can be blunt at times, but I don't set out to belittle people. We all have different personalities and opinions. At times, you criticise everyone who doesn't agree with you. That could be interpreted as you only want answers from 'yes' men, and any other opinion is not valued. I am sure that isn't true, but first impressions say it is.

 

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 15:18

Can we please move on from this?

Shirley it certainly not you I am thinking about. 

Can we please. please, please move on from this now? 

 

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By Flash Gordon
05th Mar 2013 15:32

Moving on

That's what I find strange, you write a blog post specifically about the risk of blogging and people annoying you and then when someone responds (who's not agreeing with you) you want to move on and not discuss it again. Why write the post in the first place? It's a bit like me waving a giant pig's ear in front of my dog's nose then putting it back in the cupboard and complaining that she whines pitifully (except I wouldn't put it back in the cupboard because I spoil her rotten). If you post somewhere where you can receive responses you have to accept that there's a chance someone will respond and maybe they might say something you don't like.

The world's a much nicer place when you (non-specific) give people the benefit of the doubt.

 

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By Peter Bonetti
05th Mar 2013 15:32

Possibly not ..............

This seems to have become another example of you inviting comment and then wanting to shut things down when they don't go the way you anticipated.

This seems an endlessly recurring theme with your posts. If you feel the need to share as you do, you simply have to accept that people will disagree and you should consider the reasons they give for disagreeing with you.

It is most frustrating to see your prolific posting on all manner of subjects only for those trying to make ..............................

 

Oh, what the hell, I can't be bothered to finish.

 

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 15:41

It was naming people

I want to move on because it came to naming people. I

Please disagree with me.All okay

The blog is a lot more than about belittling me.

Please let's me on  

None of the response so far have belittle me

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Replying to chatman:
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By Old Greying Accountant
05th Mar 2013 17:53

I understand this ...

FirstTab wrote:
 

I want to move on because it came to naming people. I

Please disagree with me.All okay

The blog is a lot more than about belittling me.

Please let's me on  

None of the response so far have belittle me

 

... I didn't find this acceptable. I think FirstTab got frustrated because of miscommunicaton.

He wanted to know what other information he should consider, not a yes or no vote, but, unless you read the OP slowly and carefully that appeared to be what he was asking for.

FirstTab wrote:

"It is now crunch time – yes or no?" (this was rhetorical)

"Any further light you can throw that will aid my decision making?" (this was the question)

Unfortunately the two got merged, so a key point when blogging and asking for opinion is taking the time and care to  avoid ambiguity  and make sure you are crystal clear in what you are asking opinion on.

FT will always make his own decisions, we know that, and rightly so, he just wanted to know if he had all the information and everyone jumped in to a yes/no opinion.

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 15:44

So many other better blogs

Peter Bonetti they are so many other far better blogs, ignore mine and read others. They are far more suited to your high calibre. I am just not right for you. 

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By ShirleyM
05th Mar 2013 15:47

That's you told, PB!

You've got your orders, get off!

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By Peter Bonetti
05th Mar 2013 15:49

... and miss this roller coaster?

Without a certain Celtic fire breather around, or Swiss Toni, I'm afraid you're my light relief so I feel compelled to read your blogs. I don't often respond but occasionally I feel you are worthy of the benefit of my staggering intellect.

P.s. - that was just a little pulling of my own leg as I'm sure you recognised.

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By Flash Gordon
05th Mar 2013 15:52

Toys. Pram. Thrown. Out Of.

So Peter B's made 3 comments, all valid, all polite (okay the final sentence might have been a tad sarky (and funny) but through frustration I'd guess) and yet FT you have to take the hump and make a comment about his 'high calibre'. I think you've made his point perfectly.

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 15:54

Now Peter

even I LOL at  your last comment.

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 15:55

Okay time out for me

Before the gang mentality really kicks in. 

 

 

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By ShirleyM
05th Mar 2013 16:04

'Gang' mentality???

Is that how you see us?

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By Flash Gordon
05th Mar 2013 16:16

Charmed, I'm Sure

Splendid, so we're gang members now. One person disagreeing is okay (apparently), three is ganging up. Gosh, the TAA thread must have been a full-scale riot and not the putting forward of dissenting views. Remind me next time I consider giving an opinion that might not tick all the right boxes to think twice and not bother.

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By Henry Osadzinski
05th Mar 2013 17:01

Call for calm

Folks, things are getting a bit out of hand - please remember the community rules and avoid getting into arguments over posts. As always, if you feel a post crosses the line or is otherwise inappropriate, report it and avoid commenting further.

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Replying to lionofludesch:
Red Leader
By Red Leader
05th Mar 2013 17:33

I LOVE IT!!!!

.

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By ShirleyM
05th Mar 2013 17:43

I'm confused!

Which parts were 'out of hand' and 'inappropriate'?

Was it the 'gang' mentality comment, or the part where we disobeyed orders?

No matter. I'll go away and seek sympathy from the 'gang' for my hurt feelings.

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 18:09

RL
Your concise response is just too concise. Please explian.

So pleased that you read my blogs.

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By Flash Gordon
05th Mar 2013 18:15

Not just yes or no

On the thread that shall not be named (that was a Harry Potter-esque joke in case anyone wonders)  FT got all het up and said he'd wanted a balanced discussion when the vast majority of the responses he'd received at that point were actually full responses with reasons for not going for it rather than just no votes. We were giving him information that we didn't think he'd necessarily considered fully e.g. if telemarketers had told him that London was difficult then it was probably going to still be difficult even under the TAA banner. I asked him where his new location was likely to be but didn't get an answer - if he'd said it was going to be some distance away from where he currently is then I'd have asked if he'd considered the extra travel, potentially need to relocate his home, would his current staff member still want to work for him and so on. All things that he gave no hint of considering but that I'd consider vital to a decision like that. I think we're all getting frustrated - FT because he's not getting the answers he wants, and a lot of us because we're trying to be helpful and constructive but it's quite frankly painful (that's the polite version).

Yes he should make a decision on his own but what's the point in asking for advice / opinions etc. if you're going to at best ignore them?

You're right OGA (only so you don't get upset!!!) - it is vital to be clear what you're asking for. And equally if someone responds to something that wasn't a question then it's probably best to ignore it or politely make it clear that it's a 'no comment' moment. 

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By Flash Gordon
05th Mar 2013 18:17

@ Shirley

Come and be in my gang Shirley - I've got some new marbles we can play with in the corner of the playground :)

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By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 18:27

Fair enough
All people have to is not read and respond to my blogs.

I think this is the best suction.

If there is no response I may go away.

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By Flash Gordon
05th Mar 2013 18:37

Might as well suck it and see
Fair enoughFirstTab PM | Tue, 05/03/2013 - 18:27 | Permalink

All people have to is not read and respond to my blogs.

I think this is the best suction.

If there is no response I may go away.

 

Worth a try. I've always found mains-powered vacuum cleaners to give the best suction myself but with all the fur my cats produce I'm open to new suggestions....!

(Public health warning - this post contains an attempt at humour that some people may find offensive)

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By ShirleyM
05th Mar 2013 18:40

You know the solution (suction????)

Use the ignore utility ....  make an effort yourself instead of expecting everyone to pussyfoot around you.

So we can't read & respond, but you'll go away if nobody responds? Aren't they contradictory?

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 18:51

I am really trying to understand
People don't like my blogs. So just don't read them. Reduce my click rate. That really is the best way.

Do you want me stop me stop blogging?

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By ShirleyM
05th Mar 2013 18:57

No, of course not!

Who said people don't like your blogs? Your blogs are very popular.

We have explained above why we feel that our views are not welcomed. That is the frustrating part. We want to join in and help, but you see it as something different, and throw it back into our faces.

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bike
By FirstTab
05th Mar 2013 19:13

If that's the case
I am truly sorry. That was not my intention.

I will review my response before pressing send button next time. I will respond in the evenings now when I am not distracted.

Furthermore thank you all for reading my blog and doing your best to help.

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By Old Greying Accountant
05th Mar 2013 21:11

Shirley has it right ...

... we all like you, and your blogs and we are all worried you will spend a large sum of money for no material benefit.

One person in particular is very concerned about you, and the frustration from you not seeming to take any heed of what they are giving as friendly advice spills over in their posts causing them to seem to patronise and belittle, which really is not the case. 

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bike
By FirstTab
06th Mar 2013 00:25

OGA
Fair enough point taken and understood.

Really good of that person and once again I apologise for my misunderstanding.

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By Sarah Offord
13th Mar 2013 12:42

Honest, open and very interesting

I think you're blogs are extremely refreshing and open. I should imagine it is very unnerving to put yourself in the spotlight like this and I think you are very brave!

If blogging is something you enjoy doing then keep on doing it. Just because an activity isn't adding directly to your bottom line doesn't mean it's not a worthwhile thing to do.

I just wish you wouldn't let yourself get wound up so much! I know it's easy to take comments personally, and I would be exactly the same as you (perhaps with a few more swear words). But the point where you get into heated debate with others is when the blog becomes just a drain on your time.

Maybe in future you would be better off resisting looking at your blog responses until after the end of the working day, giving you the opportunity to see the balance of all responses before responding yourself.

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bike
By FirstTab
13th Mar 2013 12:55

SIr D

Thanks.

You are so right. I get really heated. I need to stop this and as you say only look at the responses at the end of the day.  For the moment break is good. 

I hope the office move goes well. 

 

 

 

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