Do men have a support structure?

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I am sure everyone who has been in a relationship has been dumped at some stage in their lives. I was dumped yesterday. I just cannot work out why. Handling rejection really does not get any easier with age. I think it gets worse - well in my case.

This incident made me think. I do not have a support structure that women tend to have to look after the dumpee. Generally I have seen women  have a supportive circle of friends. A woman can cry, talk through her pain over a full fat ice cream. She would be hugged and her feelings listened to. Her friends will be nice to her till she gets over the dumper.

So what about men? I speak for myself. I do not have that support structure. Besides I am bit of a loner. Me crying about being dumped over a massive tub of Haagen Dazs with a group of supportive friends is just not what I (men) do.

To get over being dumped, I get engrossed in work. There are times I feel sorry for myself while working and shed a tear  (very rare) when no one is looking. I switch on the telly and think about the woman who dumped me. I think about my life letting TV wash over me. Like everyone else who has been dumped I ask myself where do I go wrong? Even though in my mature age I know that I should not take this personally.

It will be not be easy a few weeks for me. I know I will get over it. It is just a matter of time.


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By mumpin
27th Feb 2012 19:57

Cheer up FT!

We've all been there.

Time is a great healer...

Buy an absurd car to drive when you're not cycling. A 4x4 or Merc E Class or something equally mad. Start reading Montaigne if you're over 45.

You must tap into the positive vibes from your colleagues on this board. You are not a loner! 

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28th Feb 2012 12:25


I know you don't drink but there is nothing better in this instance than going to the pub with a mate and putting the world to rights over a few beers.

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By Old Greying Accountant
28th Feb 2012 14:53

I disagree ...

... get a dog!

You will get unswerving loyalty, unconditional love and an unbreakable bond. It will also help with your weight watching, you have plenty of wonderful parks and commons near you where you can take said mutt and burn some calories.

To re-use a classic, lock your dog and wife/girlfriend in the boot of your car and see which is most pleased to see you when you let them out after an hour :o)

As a bonus, being in the park with a puppy is being what is known in the venacular as a "babe magnet" - plenty more fish in the sea as they say. And if you sign up for puppy classes it is a good way to meet new friends, and may be clients?

I would recommend (and I'm sure Paul Scholes will agree) you get a Border Terrier, or, although not one of my favourites, a short haired Jack Russell would suit you well too, as would a fox terrier. 

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