Handling Rejections

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Rejections are a fact of life. Yet even at my age I am not getting any better at handling them.

The fact is it is more likely I would be rejected than accepted. Think of top level jobs or any job there is always more than one person applying. Only one person will be selected and the rest will be rejected.

On the personal front, it is normal for a guy at times to be told no when he asks a woman for a date. Well in my case I think it is more than average!

Yesterday I wrote what I thought was a really good email to a gorgeous woman on one of the dating sites. It was rejected. This is okay (well not really!), and got me thinking about the subject of rejections and handling them.

I think the way to handle rejections is to play the numbers game and not to have all my eggs in one basket. In the case of my poor getting a date success, not wait for a response from one person before going on to the next. Just to email more than few people. Accept a ratio of 1:1000 on getting a response? What do I do if I do not get a response after a 1000? Try another 1000!

The same applies to increasing my fee level. The more potential clients I see the higher the chances of signing them.

Further, to change my mind set on how I see rejections. From oh no! to they are other opportunities in the pipeline. Further to remind myself according probabilities rejection is normal and being accepted is not.

How do you handle rejections either on business or personal front? 


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10th Jan 2013 12:31

'Gorgeous' women????

Is that a prerequisite? If so, you are probably reducing your chances of meeting your ideal partner to nil! The 'gorgeous' women will have their pick and will have been snapped up by now.

Why not concentrate on meeting someone whose company you enjoy, has common interests, and is fun to be around? You would have a better chance of finding your 'soul mate' that way.


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10th Jan 2013 12:37

good experience

"Think of top level jobs or any job there is always more than one person applying. Only one person will be selected and the rest will be rejected." 


being selected for the "ideal" job as I was this summer- a small number of regular hours- sounds great on the impact-

but when a demanding role retreats into routine- its so easy to loose touch with the roles core objectives-and what you should focus on (because its seems like "ideal" and you are running it like a red rag to a bull) rather than in a cooperative team builing manner.



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10th Jan 2013 14:08

Rejection, or self esteem.

It seems to me that your problem is not rejection, more a lack of self esteem. If you are rejected than that is their loss, not yours.

I agree with ShirleyM, don’t restrict yourself to “gorgeous women”, the ones who look good often know it and are shallow.

Constant rejection can affect your self esteem and if you set your sights on the unattainable you are simply setting yourself up for rejection.

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10th Jan 2013 16:07

Re-think your approach

If you are using the shotgun marketing approach to trying to meet women it is no wonder they are not interested.You can't find a partner like you would approach finding people to sell you their gold or have been in a traffic accident in the last 5 years.



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11th Jan 2013 10:32

Numbers game, but ......

In one respect it is a numbers game - the more people you ask, then statistically the more likely that you will get a "yes" (althoug this strategy is best played by those of thick skin who can easily brush off any "no" answers and are able to quickly move on to the next person to ask).

I have also noticed that in this and your previous posts, you always mention "gorgeous" women, and you do not mention any other qualities that you may be looking for.

If you are basing your "requirements" on such a narrow superficial criteria, then based on your own description of yourself you are likely to be disappointed (no offence !) - unless you have other "qualities", eg. Donald Trump isn't an Armani model, but he seems to do ok for himself ...



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11th Jan 2013 11:49

B Robers

Thank you for reading my blog and taking the time to comment.

You are right I am a person of extremes and I do not think that I will change on this front. 

As you indicate I am overly fussy in what I am looking for, bearing in mind how I have described myself.  

I rather be on my own if I do not find someone who I think is goregous in every way- both looks and personality.  

I have a real feeling 2013 will be very different because of  actions I have  already taken and will continue to take. 

All I can say to myself is I want to see my outcomes at the end of 2013. If they are not what I would like then I will have good reason to make changes on areas so far I am not willing to change.  

Please do not stop reading my blog and more importantly don't stop commenting.  


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to mbee1
11th Jan 2013 15:46

Must have a pulse.

FirstTab wrote:

I rather be on my own if I do not find someone who I think is goregous in every way- both looks and personality.  



Try setting a realistic minimum requirement. 

Personally when I was on the market (a long time ago) my minimum requirement for a woman was simple - "must have a pulse" - after that I didnt care.  Looks dont last, personality does.


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