Sometimes I wonder what possessed me to have two kids and have them so close together. For the first couple of months, I had help from the family nearly every day and I did need it and I am incredibly grateful for it. However, as my second one is three months old, I still get a bit of help but not as much as before.
Every minute of my day is now accounted for, if one of them is not bawling their head off, the other one is having a tantrum. There are times when I feel guilty that I don't spend all my time with the baby like I could with the first one and then there are time when I feel guilty that I can't give all my attention to the older one when she needs it. I guess that is the joys and pitfalls of having two young kids.
In a way it's a challenge to get through this first year as sanely as possible without moaning too much and not collapsing into a heap. I made this choice and I will get through it. I don't mean to be righteous about it but its my way of keep going. I go to some mum and baby groups even though most days I just want to stay in my PJ's all day but it gets incredibly lonely watching cbeebies all day and not having much adult conversation. Seeing other mums, talking about our babies and knowing I'm not going through these challenges alone is good.
The one thing I do miss is not talking about accounts or tax or moaning about clients although reading about some of this on blogs and any answers helps when I get a chance. And then I have moments like this when both my kids are asleep and I think how incredibly lucky I am to have them ( and not just because they are asleep!).
Attempting to be an amazing accountant and an amazing mum, somehow combine the two and meet somewhere in the middle but currently failing at both. Hoping that in a few years I will have found something I enjoy doing or found some sort of work life balance and will be in a less stressed out place but until then, or as I get there, I think I...