For the last three years I've been keeping a track of my new years resolution and every year they seem to be basically the same: lose weight, do more exercise, eat healthily, be a good mum, work harder - and this year is more or less the same.
It almost makes me wonder why I bother in the first place, but if nothing else, it's still a good time to reflect on the year and take stock of where you are and what you want to do next year.
Recently, I read an article in the newspaper about generation x (the one I fall into, I think) and how unambitious they are. I'm not sure that's entirely true. When I was younger I was fairly ambitious about making my way up the career ladder - but since having kids, what I want has become a lot more confusing. I want to be a full time mum and have a full time career, but the more I think about it, the more I've realised that where I am right now is good for now and I'm quite content.
Maybe later on when the girls are older, I might want something different but I can refocus then and I don't need to have it all worked out right now. I should know by now that things will always change, regardless of how much you plan and think and rethink.
Career wise maybe I would like more but I don't think I would be able to give it my all and I like being able to do a few tax returns, having my subcontract and doing some writing and then spending the rest of my time being a mum.
Maybe I'm not as ambitious as other people who are in the same position as me but I'm ok with that for now. I'm happy with things as they are, although it still sometimes feel hard to say that - even to myself.
I'm sure within a few months I'll be moaning again and reading this quote from the Grimms' complete fairy tale yesterday didn't help: "How often when we are comfortable we begin to want for something more."
I think mindfulness and meditation are having an effect on me at the moment. So even though it's a new year, and the time of the year when I normally start twitching and wanting to do something new, I'm going to resist and just keep going as I am but be a little better at it than last year.
Although, the slow panic of getting all the self assessment tax returns done in time is starting to creep up.
You might also be interested in
Attempting to be an amazing accountant and an amazing mum, somehow combine the two and meet somewhere in the middle but currently failing at both. Hoping that in a few years I will have found something I enjoy doing or found some sort of work life balance and will be in a less stressed out place but until then, or as I get there, I think I...