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The green-eyed monster reappears!

21st Feb 2015
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I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while but keep putting it off. I love the way I can fit work into my life at the moment and working from home plays a big part in that and work is picking up. I’m not sure if working from home will always suit me but for now and for the future I can see for myself, I want to do it forever!

But then, I catch up with a friend. We have a gossip. She tells me how tiring it is looking after her son and how she likes to go to work and put on nice, clean clothes and how it is me time. She talks about what people at work did that day and what happened to make her day go faster; How she is applying for a promotion; How she loves going to work and being herself; Having time for herself and not a having to be a mum; How people at work compliment her and say she doesn’t look like a mum.

Blah, blah, blah! Ok, so slowly a little pang of jealousy starts to creep up. I’ve got pretty clothes, just nowhere to wear it. I do things that make me still me and not just a mum, I think, although I can’t always tell. I don’t always have time to think that my day is going slowly or at least not recently. If I’m not working, I’m cooking or as, we’ve had a few illnesses in the family, I’ve been going out to see them and help out in any way I can.

I love this flexibility I have at the moment. I love being there for my kids, even though it can be so much hard work at times, I am starting to like it. So, why do I keep getting jealous of all my friends who go to work, and get promotions, and wear nice clothes every day?

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Replies (8)

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By tom123
21st Feb 2015 19:23

They don't mention the hassle

Don't forget the hassles:

Time off for sick children,

Missing parent's evenings, sports day.

Office politics etc.

 

Don't wish your life away, but once the child(ren) are grown a bit more, you will probably have an office based practice of your own, together with all the benefits etc that brings. 

You don't really want to go backwards, do you?

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By Flash Gordon
22nd Feb 2015 09:28

Exactly what Tom says.

And they're probably secretly wishing they were you, only they can't admit that so they have to try and make out how wonderful it is for them. 

If you're happy with your life that's all that matters.If you want to dress up, get a babysitter and go out somewhere - dinner, a day / half-day out, theatre, whatever. And don't forget - you don't need a promotion because you're already top of your business!!

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Man of Kent
By Kent accountant
22nd Feb 2015 18:58

No way

I left the best company I worked for in 2003. Grass is always greener isn't it and I thought for several years after that I should have stayed.

Remuneration wise I would probably be earning more if I was still there.

I received a call from one of colleagues from that company who is still there, asking me if I was interested in returning there was a vacancy.

Money on offer was very good.

My response was a thanks but no thanks. I explained to him my work/life balance - taking kids to school everyday, sitting down for tea with them most evenings, 30 second walk to the office.

He openly admitted he was jealous - he has a young family and works 50-60 hours a week and rarely sees his children in the week. Has to deal with commuting, office politics, the work environment (tough) and high workload.

Money and a big company career aren't everything.

I can't see myself ever working for someone else again. Smart clothes, office banter, lunch with mates are all appealing, but...

...thanks but no thanks.

 

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By Alan Davies
23rd Feb 2015 09:24

Underselling what you do....

If you look back in many years time you'll see that being 'just a mum' was the most important and most rewarding thing you could be doing right now, both for your children and yourself.

You are very lucky that you can do some work around this to help contribute to the household financially (this is important for your self-worth even if not financially necessary) and to keep up to date for when you wish to return to work in a more structure way.

Once your friend has got past the 'new job' buzz she'll probably start to pine for when she was at home and be jealous of you!

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By rebtay
23rd Feb 2015 09:49

You won't get the flexibility...

working for someone else.

There are compromises with both situations but when your girls are in school and you can take time out to watch their school plays or can pick them up from school every day then you will appreciate working for yourself more as you will be very lucky to find an employer who will give you that flexibility.

3 years in, I can't imagine working for someone else again. Yes there are compromises  - I'm the one that has to rearrange my day when one of the boys is sick, I don't earn as much but I probably don't work as many hours at the moment, I don't have a company car, pension, healthcare, fixed salary.... But I do do the school run most days, I can go to the school assemblies and plays, I love mornings like today when the sun is shining and we can scooter to school without having to rush as I need to get to work.

When the kids are little it is always harder and though I wouldn't want you to wish away this time with them, it is easier once both are in school. Then will be your time to dress up and have some time not being 'mum'.

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By Rachael White
23rd Feb 2015 14:29

Just a thought - but there is nothing stopping you wearing nice clothes day to day :)

On a more serious note, different people work differently.Perhaps your friends' personality is more suited to being at work - it doesn't mean you need to be too! If you're happy with how things are for you then there's nothing to prove to anyone else. 

Do what makes you happy and don't worry about anyone else - those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. 

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By A mum and an accountant
23rd Feb 2015 15:12

Thank you for all your comments and I really do appreciate what I have. Especially as I'm sat here with a slightly feverish daughter now asleep on one side of me, and having just finished doing the minimum amount of work I needed to do for now.  I guess, sometimes I like to look back to my 'old' life where success was measured in promotions and pay rises. I know if I wanted to go back to that life, I probably could but I am happy with my lifestyle right now.

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By thomas
26th Feb 2015 15:24

argh I hear you. After a foot operation I've  been signed off for two weeks.  Doesn't really count when you work for yourself from home. No excuses allowed to sit back and put my feet up.

I also identify with the green eyed monster.  I have many friends that work part time and have 2 days at home.How I would love that. Every moment without kids is swallowed by work even though I only work part time too.... they need to extend the school day beyond 3pm!

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