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Sent by my cat

17th Nov 2013
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One thing that I have always found nauseating is the apparent boast implicit in the email signature “sent by my iphone”. It just screams “Hey everyone, I’ve got an iPhone”.

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By Mouse007
17th Nov 2013 21:54

Sent by my cat

One thing that I have always found nauseating is the apparent boast implicit in the email signature “sent by my iphone”. It just screams “Hey everyone, I’ve got an iPhone”.

Who cares? I’ve got a life!

Knowingly of course the sender did no such thing; the great evil Apple planted that irritating strap line on all devices capable of sending emails. A stoke of brilliance from the marketing department perhaps. It works because the sheep that buy Apple products have been conditioned to never change anything.

That is precisely why I have a particular loathing for all things Apple. You can’t tinker with anything, personalise it, mod it, change it, fix it. No, it is any colour you want so long as it’s black or white. Which co-incidentally are the only colours sheep come in.

And that is exactly what happens. Sheep change nothing and consequently email billions of Apple adverts worldwide daily boasting “I’ve got an iPhone”, with an almost sneering tone of “have you?”.

Inner wisdom had always told me not to, but this week Eve made me. No one makes mobile phones anymore, “try this” she soothed “go on”. So just two days ago I received my first taste of the forbidden fruit. I didn’t like it; it didn’t look, feel or behave like a mobile phone. It looks and feels more like something from the tiling store.

A small brick: I could imagine grouting hundreds of them to a bathroom for a classic 1930's look. That would be uber cool. But holding this cold slab to my ear, that’s daft.

I switch it on and immediately discover it is already infested with undeletable icons for things I will never ever use. I’ve seen social media turn little Miss Mouse into a zombie, best avoided me thinks. At least with a new PC you can run Decrapifier and get rid, but no this is Apple. No right click, no drop downs, no recycle bins.

Things are not going well.

Time to target “settings” hoping to find the “format” function. Perhaps I could fix it and install Windows 7 pro instead. No chance.

But then Eureka. I found my nemesis - hidden deep within mail, contacts, calendars was the  signature “sent from my iPhone”. I stabbed at the words in anger hoping to inflict a mortal wound when like a genie up pops a keyboard. Oh my giddy god, something I can change. YES YES YES. I don’t have to join the flocks of unwitting sheep emailing Apple adverts all day and night after all.

Being a mouse it was obvious.

So now if you are ever lucky enough to receive an email from my fruit it will sign off

“Sent by my Cat”.

 

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By User deleted
17th Nov 2013 15:12

OMG, NOOOOOoooo ...

... in the words of Ruth

Lost! lost! lost!

Alas poor Mouse! I knew him, Horatio: a fellow of infinite jest, of most excellent fancy ...

 

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By Mouse007
22nd Nov 2013 21:35

Keeping my head OUT of the cloud

Now available here

 

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Routemaster image
By tom123
17th Nov 2013 23:16

I just can't summon enthusiasm for Apple

I don't have an iphone, or use a mac. My parents have an Ipad, which I use when I am there. For work, I use a Blackberry (my firm is Canadian, so supports local industry), which is ok for email but a bit rubbish for other stuff.

The whole cult of apple just leaves me cold. As for queueing outside the stores and the upgrades - pah.

My own phone is Nokia - and can do calls and texts. It cost £10 four years ago and is indestructible.

Aren't the 'cool kids' moving onto other stuff now anyway?

Glad I'm not still at school though, because if I was I am sure I would have 'had' to have one.

 

 

EDIT - just realised I used the word 'stores' rather than shops. they're getting into my subconcious.

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By User deleted
17th Nov 2013 23:20

Just watched ...

... Crackanory on Dave - with Jack Dee reading a cautionary tale about twitter - suggest you watch then bin the i-phone :o)

 

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Locutus of Borg
By Locutus
18th Nov 2013 10:05

One Direction saved me
I've gone into the Apple sea just up to my knees so far (iPhone and iPad). I'm not a fanboy and am happy to wait for a year (when my contract has expired) to get the latest iPhone rather than camp out at the store three days ahead of the launch.

I hear the siren voices of those Apple mermaids tempting me further in with that lovely MacBook Pro. It is so thin and has a gorgeous retina screen. Who cares about the price!

But then my salvation came from an unlikely source: boyband One Direction. Every Christmas my phone provider Orange do a 12 days of Christmas thing, where they give away some free app, song video, etc every day for 12 days.

Two Christmases ago, I made the mistake of downloading a One Direction video. I had no idea who they were and promptly deleted it when I found out it was just a boy band singing a crap song.

Upon installing the most recent iOS 7 onto my i-devices I see that those grinning turds are back, mocking me. I delete them from the device, but their iCloud link is still there. I've checked the forums and it looks like you can't ever get rid of it. I can never show my music collection again, without this lengthy explanation of why One Direction and a few other dodgy artists are on there.

Thanks Apple for ruining my i-experience. No further into this particular sea.

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