Dear Nick: ‘Is anyone else feeling the strain?’

The dilemma: I ended up with a client on an indoor market a few years ago, and then I was recommended to other stallholders. So I now have a few on this market.

I’ve been chasing one client on there for records but have had no response. I've seen them at various points throughout the year and every single time they ask "When does our stuff need to be in again?"

Anyway, despite requests right up to November, they texted me last week to say "books are ready for collection". I ignored it, thinking I'll collect when I'm in that area. Now, they are complaining to all the other stallholders that "our stuff is here but he hasn't been in to collect it and they are due soon".

This particular client stands about all day gossiping, as they have nothing else to do. So I'm getting messages from other clients on the market telling me that I've upset one, and asking "is everything ok"!

I can't sack them as I will potentially lose the other eight. Otherwise, I would happily tell them I'll see them in Feb. I’m seriously fed up with dealing with imbeciles. Anyone else feeling the strain?

The response

Nick replies: The example you highlighted says everything about them and nothing about you, or your business or professionalism.

As someone who can be triggered by money when it comes to anxiety, I actually understand why people put it off – or bury their heads. I’m not saying it’s right, but I get it. 

• Money is scary
• Tax is scary
• Accountants are scary

In fact, anything is scary when you don’t know anything about that area of life or business other than the scare stories you read, overhear in the market or you just see it as a huge pain which takes money out of their pockets. So I do get why they would delay getting stuff done. But as I said it doesn’t make it right. It’s not professional and it’s not fair on you.

To then spread gossip that you hadn’t actioned something in a relatively small time compared to how long you had been made to wait, I can understand why you are “seriously fed up dealing with imbeciles”.

I imagine your massive sense of overwhelm at this time only compounds the frustration and anger you feel. And no, they won’t be thinking of you, they will be thinking of themselves. They expect their priority to be your priority because that’s all that matters to them.

Now, more than ever, I see that mentality creeping into everything. And yes, it makes me despair. We live in an increasingly entitled and impatient culture and this does ramp up things like anxiety, stress and poor mental health.

I think I would suggest two things here:

Ensure you are recovering well.  Yes, you have a lot to do but make sure you are diarising the things you love to do. What helps you relax, disconnect and recharge?  If you need help on that, just shout.

You say that you can’t sack them otherwise you may lose the others. I’d like you to really think about that. Is that true? Or just fear-based? I say that because in my experience the clients that caused me the most problems were the least profitable and most difficult.  Plus, if your relationship is strong with the others and you are up to speed with their stuff, they have no reason to doubt you and therefore no reason to leave you. 

I often work with clients on an exercise called ‘cold processes’ where we take the emotion out of situations to see them for exactly what they are in terms of fact.  What price or cost is your sanity?

Plus there is an argument to say that if you are working for people that you don’t want to work for, you may as well get a job. It’ll be a lot easier. That sounds flippant but it’s your business and your choice on who you work with. If someone doesn’t fit you culturally, for any reason, I would look to replace them with shiny, new, house-trained clients as soon as possible. 

This is an abridged version of the dilemma taken from the Any Answers thread: People!!! Seriously losing the will