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What phrases do you dread - in a work context

4th Jul 2015
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Just a quick one today. Wondering what phrases you hate hearing in a work context. Mine is "well, that's a commercial decision you need to take" - which in every context I have heard it over the years means:

I don't respect that you have any professional training, or ethics, and you just need to do whatever is being asked - if that means lying slightly on paperwork, then so be it.

This was from a finance broker acting for a customer. Followed by calls from the customer which started with 'Listen....' which again is not one of my favourite phrases.

The same customer then said 'how you do it is up to you..', and 'I don't understand all this paperwork' - which are all variants on the same theme.

Rant over - and relax..

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By ShirleyM
04th Jul 2015 09:20

'What harm will it do' is my least favourite

When being asked to 'massage the truth'. 

I had one yesterday from an ex-client, who wanted a letter for a new employer stating his self-employment had continued beyond his cessation date.

I refused saying that it would require an amendment to his self-assessment which had his cessation date on it, and that I am not in the habit of changing history.

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By mrme89
04th Jul 2015 09:32

There's loads!
Can you just ping an email to X.

Going forward.

Close of play.

Don't let the grass grow too long on this one.

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By Old Greying Accountant
04th Jul 2015 11:11

"Just a quick question" ...

... yes, well, the question may be quick, generally asked by your top A1 client and means your plans for the day are out the window!

No so much a phrase as a term, but I hate hearing "Human Resources". 

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By KPEM online
04th Jul 2015 11:36

@mrme89
All of those and also "Basically" being put at start of every sentence..........usually followed by a story or situation with nothing basic about it!!

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By Manchester_man
04th Jul 2015 17:06

Let's 'touch base'.

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By Old Greying Accountant
04th Jul 2015 21:58

Not in a work context as such ...

... but as Kent Accountant used it is=n his post, " get out and enjoy the sunshine"

To someone of pale complexion and thinning grey hair there is nothing enjoyable about being out in the sunshine.

It burns your skin, puts you at risk of skin cancer, dehydrates you and gives you a headache, makes photography almost impossible as it reflects of things, causes heat shimmer and glare and makes it impossible to see the settings on the camera easily, and similarly makes it really hard to read your phones display. You can't even sit and read a book as the glare from the pages makes it hard to read them. It also gives me hours of work keeping the garden alive, turn your back for a minute and everything has either wilted or been crisped.

Oh, and if you put sun cream on your glasses keep slipping off and you get white strips from the ear pieces.

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Replying to ireallyshouldknowthisbut:
Man of Kent
By Kent accountant
05th Jul 2015 13:16

Umbrella

You could always sit in the shade ;)

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By Anne Robinson
04th Jul 2015 20:58

Starting a sentence with either So, or Right.

"You guys" annoys the hell out of me.

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By ftpaccounts
05th Jul 2015 09:26

annoying

Those that start obviously which means nothing is obvious we are not all psysic and catch up with you later implying you are in some mystical race with something or somebody....

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By Old Greying Accountant
05th Jul 2015 09:50

Quote I heard on QI last night ...

... ignorant people are those who don't know that which you have only just found out yourself!

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By Old Greying Accountant
05th Jul 2015 15:20

That only works ...

... when you have a dry heat, with the humid heat we have here it doesn't matter if you are in sun or shade it is still hot and sweaty, I'll stay in my air-conditioned office thank you till it breaks and we get some nice weather! 

That is the rub though, I am not one for sitting unless it is to work, I get bored, need to be doing something.

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Glenn Martin
By Glenn Martin
06th Jul 2015 12:04

"Blue Sky Thinking" or "outside the box"

makes me want to leap out of my chair and smack the person who has just said it.

It also really annoys me when clients say this will "only take you 5 minutes" or "all you did was send a letter" 

I also hate when people say keep this on the Q T, as you are probably the 20th person they have told it to.

 

 

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Man of Kent
By Kent accountant
06th Jul 2015 14:17

A fellow director

At my last proper job a fellow director use to shout people down who started a comment with "The problem is...

Of course he would say "I don't want problems I want solutions..."

Turns out he was the problem "feckin' [***]!".

He's the only person I would punch in the face if I met him again*

 

 

 

* Quite happy to explain all at the next TicknBash

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By k743snx
06th Jul 2015 12:34

words and phrases

People who use the word "around" in a variety of intended meanings, quite different from the original one.

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By memyself-eye
07th Jul 2015 09:34

anything with the word

"Community" in it.

Usually spoken by some try it on would be social 'entrepreneur' with no clue

while I'm at it...'entrepreneur'

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By k743snx
07th Jul 2015 15:41

another one

“Can I get?”.

It's passed into the language quicker than you can say "latte".

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By mwngiol
07th Jul 2015 16:39

"It's not rocket science"

Neither is brain surgery, but that doesn't mean it's simple.

Or the old  "A friend of mine said he can claim for anything he's ever spent in any context against his tax, so why can't I?"

And of course "No Mwngiol we are not having a naked day. Next time ask in advance before turning up naked".

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By Old Greying Accountant
08th Jul 2015 16:24

We were told ...

... at the Science Museum that the actual rocket "science" is incredibly simple, it is the application that is tricky.

This is an extract from an e-mail received yesterday from a newish client

"I came to know that some of my friends are allowed to take about £200 per week as miscellaneous expenses NOT DIVIDEND.

If it is okay, then I can withdraw same amount as miscellaneous expenses ??"

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