Accountants' fortune cookies

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The new tax year is just around the corner, but before that it's Chinese New Year! Is it fate? You decide! The Year of the Tiger begins on 14 February, so in preparation Steven West, a writer from Farmington Hills, MI, offers these ten witty fortune cookie sayings from the mouths of accountants.

  1. Don't be upset, but you are in deep debt.
  2. Your favorite uncle is planning to visit you this year. (Yep, it's your Uncle Sam.)
  3. Taking a deduction for the care and maintenance of your fish tank is not likely to succeed.
  4. Things could be worse, you still own your house. (Oops, sorry, I was wrong about that.)
  5. You may want to delay taking a vacation after you see what you owe the government.
  6. You're getting a lot of money back this year after filing your returns. Just kidding.
  7. Hope you are steady because your records sure are out of balance.
  8. Fraud is a five letter word. Prison is a six letter word. See, you still know how to count.
  9. Your wife left you. You're out of work. But you still have your dignity. Unfortunately, you cannot declare your dignity as a deduction.
  10. You've been cooking the books for years. After the IRS is done with you, you'll be basted and roasted just right.

Fancy writing your own fortune? Head over to our sister site, and add your fortune to the box!


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