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Juggling parenthood and accountancy

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15th Apr 2016
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Becoming a parent is an exciting time. But for some practitioners fitting their professional life in with the demands of parenthood is a daunting prospect, and one where they feel like they’re losing their identity.

AccountingWEB member Monsoon brought this issue to the fore in a recent Any Answers post, where she described her career as going from a “successful businesswoman” to an “insecure mum”.

Describing how she can’t “justify charging more than £20 an hour”, Monsoon asked how she can find her mojo again. “I think I chucked mine out with a dirty nappy”.

The AccountingWEB community rallied round Monsoon, offering advice and encouragement. AWeb user Stepurhan advised: “If you start charging peanuts now, when you choose to ramp up the business later you'll be stuffed.”

“You've done amazing things in the past…You will do amazing things in the future. You are almost certainly doing amazing things now by bringing up a child properly.”

But the recent news that only one in 100 men has taken up the opportunity of shared parental leave compounds how the mother is often left trying to juggle bringing up a baby while still grasping on to her career.

AccountingWEB blogger Nisha Patel, author of the ‘A mum and an accountant’ blog, told AccountingWEB how she shared the same insecurity Monsoon describes after the birth of her child, and still feels like she hasn’t yet “overcome” this feeling.

“I remember when I was going on maternity leave thinking ‘I don’t want to lose my skills’”, she said. “I tried for three months doing part time work – two and a half days, but it got really tiring.  I remember thinking, I need to do something else; I can’t do this.”

'Find your new identity'

Accounting coach Carol McLachlan says parenting brings with it a big shift in personal identity. Approaching her maternity leave, McLachlan was adamant that she was going to meet her professional objectives, but after her child’s birth she soon had to accept that she was no longer a career accountant, which brought with it a big shift in her mindset.

She described this shift as like a grieving process. “You go through different stages (denial, anger, depression etc.) as you start to adjust and find your new identity,” she said.

Patel tried employed work, but found it didn’t have the flexibility to suit her family life. So she gained her practising certificate, which gave her the confidence to go it alone – but it took a while to achieve the lifestyle she wanted.

Her youngest, who is now three, has reached nursery age, and her oldest goes to school, which has made juggling work and family life easier. Talking with friends, she knows that after-school clubs or summer holiday camps will help ease the pressure, but at the moment, while her children are still young she doesn’t want leave them. “I am hoping when they’re a bit older I will have more time to spend on my work without worrying about them so much,” she said.

Flexibility

This is something Jessica Pillow has done; proving that running a practice can lend itself towards bringing up a family. Speaking with AccountingWEB in 2015, Pillow explained how technology had enabled her to set boundaries and switch off so she can spend time after work with her daughters. Xero accounting software allows Pillow and her staff to work remotely, and enjoy a more flexible work/life balance. “Why work if it means I can't spend time with them?" she said.

For Patel, technology has also allowed her the flexibility to work the hours that suit her. “I can do my work when [the children] are at school, but, even when they’re at nursery I still have the flexibility to [work] at night,” she said.

Ironically it’s the changing technology landscape, such as the government’s Making Tax Digital plans, or finding the time to keep up with her CPD which Patel has found most difficult. “If you were at work you would be able to talk to people who would show you how to do things,” she said. “When you are on your own you have to figure everything out yourself.”

As for Monsoon, McLachlan advises she finds the space to “let off steam” and “vocalise how she is feeling and her fears”, and decide “how she wants her new life to be”. She should then work through a practical plan to build her confidence which will help her “re-adjust to a world, devoid of perfectionism but accepting 'when good is good enough'”, says McLachlan.   

Back in the Any Answers thread, Time for Change added some perspective: “Make the most of your little one(s), as time has a great way of taking them away from you. They so quickly turn into adults and you wish you could turn the clock back.”

Replies (6)

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By Jimmy Proby
15th Apr 2016 11:33

I struggled late on in life

to obtain my qualifications as well as working 60/70 hours per week. I know how difficult it must be for a woman in the same predicament also having to deal with children. My working life took its toll on my marriage and we split up and divorced and she took all marriage assets that were paid for from my earnings and savings when we were married. I also undertook work on a run down detached house and through my work added £100,000 to its value. After we were divorced she stopped me seeing my three children and started to stalk and harrass me. When I remarried she started stalking and harrassing my new wife and her family. I eventually, at the age of 56, decided to move well away to start a new life and I had to start from scratch picking uo new clients. Being an accountant is a very stressful life with the long hours, deadlines, clients putting you under pressure, having to conform to our institute's regulations, HMRC and other authorities constantly changing tax, laws and goalposts. This is why a qualified accountant's fees are so large.

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By thatsnumberwang
15th Apr 2016 12:46

It's not an easy option

When my children were very young and I was establishing my own practice, I had lofty ideas that this would be the easiest option. Truth was it really wasn't. There was always a sense that I was compromising on everything; giving my clients the time and focus they needed and giving my children the time and focus they needed. Everyone was a loser.

For me the biggest strain was finding the time to focus on CPD and staying on top of all of the tax and legislation changes, which left me feeling I wasn't doing a good enough job for my clients. I wonder if the better approach for working mums in this situation is to focus on a niche tax specialism or specific service offering to provide to other practice accountants? The potential there is to take away all of the practice management guff and focus on the core work.

If you are a working mum reading this, I promise you it gets so much easier once they are settled at school. Honestly, if I hadn't realised that practice accounting wasn't for me (for completely different reasons/it's a long story) life would be pretty great right now!!

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By Sjsaccountant
15th Apr 2016 13:38

this shift as like a grieving process..

I found this article very interesting!  I don't think there is enough support for young mums/dads trying to hold on to their career and forge a decent balance between motherhood/fatherhood and keeping the skills achieved (in my case)  over a decade in the corporate world.  The UK is particularly poor at this  - our European friends are much more forgiving and allow longer time at home with their child before going back to work and offer a variety of alternative roles in a lot of cases (ie not full time for example).  I had to take legal action with my employer which was hugely stressful. 

 

Also many of the courses offered are mostly all day, expensive and in cities for the most part.

There could be more done for scaling costs to members in practise returning to work after having families.  I think there is little consideration/ support to mums and dads who have been at home and wanting to commence work as an MIP.  There could be more local 'short day' workshops, technical helplines or mentoring for new MIPs.  Technology might be changing to accommodate a shift in work patterns but the mindset in the main accounting institutes is not nor those companies offering training to accountants.

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By JonathanD
15th Apr 2016 16:27

I agree

I was lucky enough to be able to take 3 months Additional Paternity Leave in 2015, and now work part time (4 days a week), with the day off to look after my, now, toddler.

It is a little tricky as an employee, especially if there are sick days from nursery, or CPD courses scheduled for my 'non working day'.

I do feel like I still need to check my emails during my day off, and it's almost not perceived that well by clients (and partners!) that a man is working part time

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Sarah Douglas - HouseTree Business Ltd
By sarah douglas
18th Apr 2016 13:20

It depends

Losing your confidence as Mum in accountancy roles.  I think this is down to how much pressure you put on yourself and how much support you have.   I have a fellow group of Accountants and bookkeepers Mums and Dads and fellow collegues with no children in Glasgow and Edinburgh and  we are very supportive of each other and we all have had our moments.  I do not think isolating yourself is a good thing.

At the end of the day you are not super woman or superman.   Kids come first and you work around that.   Work Saturdays or Sundays half day if you want and do it if it suits the way your family works and their activities.   I have never missed a sports day a concert or anything.  I put in 7 hours a day my office is nearby 20 min walk and have the same time off. but is suits me when I want my time off. 

We now get asked on regular basis can I have a meeting on Saturday and it has turned out very successful.  Leave early on Friday to do family things.

I love my work but I always accepted that for at least 10 years are so I would lose some earnings  and adjusted our  life style to suit that and holidays.  I work around the weather in the summer  so we as a family can get out and have a cycle. 

I feel very confident but it is not about the money.  I think caring to much what other mums or dads think worries many.  Stay away from social media and main thing do not isolate your self from outside people.

Use it as time to visit everything and be a big kid again but get out of the house work in the evening if you want.

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By roseorgan.fsbdial
18th Apr 2016 16:01

Perfect career for a mother!

 

 I always tell people that I didn't really appreciate accountancy as a career until I had my son.  I work from home and while he was little I had someone come to care for him for a few hours a day so that I could keep the business ticking over.

 I think the juggling can be managed as long as you don't take on too much work and your clients know what to expect. I make it quite clear to my clients that I am not at my desk all day every day but that if they leave a message I will call them back.  They benefit from a personal service and prompt attention.

Once my son got to school age I only ever worked while he was at school, so I was always there for him.  The rate you can charge enables you to work less hours compared to what you would have to do as an employee to earn the same.  As for  keeping up to date - I belong to a group of sole traders that meet once a month to share knowledge.  We also use a Google group to pose questions and ask for help if a problem arises between meetings.

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