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Friday fun: Are you an accounting nerd?

25th Jun 2010
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William Brighenti presents the ultimate geek test. Are you ready for your results? (WARNING: Don't read this if you're easily offended!)

There are varying degrees of accounting nerdiness. Some accounting nerds live normal lives, marry and, according to Kinsley, even propagate. Some never marry since everyone they ever dated lapsed into comas, never to be heard from again. Others are complete introverts and should never have left the convent or monastery. (The Father of Accounting, Luca Pacioli, was a monk. He never left the monastery. Ergo, he was also the Father of Accounting Nerdiness.)

Do you know how much of an accounting nerd you are? Of course you do. Or do you?! Like most accounting nerds, you probably suffer from the mistaken belief that you are not an accounting nerd at all. However, unless the confidence interval of your belief of not being an accounting nerd possesses an alpha significance value of less than 5%, then how can you be so sure that you are not a nerd after all? Let’s face facts: chances are you don’t have a clue about how nerdy you really are. It’s totally irrelevant how you perceive yourself; rather, what is relevant is how all of your friends, associates, clients, and family members laugh hysterically and derisively about you behind your back, ridiculing you as the nerdiest geek they ever met. But they won’t ever tell you how much of an accounting nerd you are because that would ruin their enjoyment of ridiculing and laughing about you behind your back at every opportunity they get.

Perhaps it’s time for you to assess objectively your accounting nerdiness. Below are a series of questions designed to measure just how much of an accounting nerd you are. Please answer all of these questions truthfully, since if you are truly the nerdiest accountant on the entire planet, no one would care in the least bit anyway.

  1. Do you examine your sales receipt before you leave the register at a store, adding it up in your mind to verify its accuracy, even though 20 people are behind you waiting in line and the store is closing?
     
  2. After you have examined your sales receipt while at the register of a store and added up every item on the receipt to ensure its accuracy, do you then tick and vouch each item on the receipt to the actual goods in your carriage?
     
  3. When you go out to lunch with others, when the bill arrives, do you whip out your calculator and tally up each individual’s share to the penny, including tip?
     
  4. When your spouse borrows money from you, do you:
    a. Charge her/him interest
    b. Compound the interest daily
    c. None of the above
     
  5. Did your tax filing status influence the timing of your wedding date?
     
  6. On your honeymoon, did you select a resort offering a CPD course in order to deduct its cost?
     
  7. During tax season, do you:
    a. Bring your laptop to bed
    b. Have sex via remote access
    c. Practice celibacy
    d. Practice points A and B
    e. None of the above
     
  8.  On your office desk, do you have a picture of Spock from Star Trek?
     
  9. Do you reconcile your personal savings account bank statement every month in QuickBooks, even though the only transaction is an interest posting?
     
  10. Out in the field on audit assignments, when you discover a client error requiring an adjusting entry, do you scream “gotcha”, and dance around the table singing “We are the champions of the world”?
     
  11. Do you eat lunch at your desk, dropping your food in your keyboard, and continue typing with ketchup and grease on your fingers?

Your scores
If you answered no to all nine questions and selected 4c and 7e, you are not an accounting nerd; however, you probably will never pass the accountancy exam and should change careers before you are fired.

If you answered no to all nine questions but selected 4b and 7c, you are not an accounting nerd but you would be advised never to marry.

If you answered yes to at least five questions, and did not select 4c or 7e, you are bi-nerd and could swing either way.

If you answered yes to all nine questions and selected 4b and 7c, you are a true accounting nerd destined to be a partner at a public accounting firm as long as you do not enter a religious order in order to avoid taxes on your wages and obtain a non-taxable living allowance.

William Brighenti is a certified public accountant at Hartford CPA Accountants in the US, and is a regular blogger for our US sister site, AccountingWEB.com

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Should Be Working ... not playing with the car
By should_be_working
25th Jun 2010 14:50

Aha!

"On your honeymoon, did you select a resort offering a CPD course in order to deduct its cost"

Of course not ... bit of a problem with the duality principle there.

Or has that just added a point to my nerd score?

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By cymraeg_draig
25th Jun 2010 16:07

Oooops

I knew I was in the wrong job. 

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By Gina Dyer
25th Jun 2010 16:19

Uh oh!

I've just had a look around the office at some of my colleagues and a few of them can answer yes to some of these! There's a Spock mug and more than a few messy keyboard eaters!

I had to answer yes to question 2. My mum always used to line up the food on the kitchen counter when we got back from the supermarket and go through the receipt to check it's all there - now I do it too!

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By cardinalcall
25th Jun 2010 17:06

And what is wrong with bringing one's laptop to bed or sex via r

And what is wrong with bringing one's laptop to bed as long as you do not wear your glasses in bed necessitating a visit to the emergency room of a hospital to remove the glass splinter's from your beloved's derriere?

And don't knock sex via remote access unless you've tried it.  You might get a "charge" out of it.

Incidentally, are accountants boring, too, besides being nerdy?  Please see, "Is accounting really boring, or has everyone else just been getting it wrong?", and judge for yourself.

The Barefoot Accountant

Accountants CPA Hartford, LLC

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By cymraeg_draig
25th Jun 2010 18:36

Oh dear Gina

I had to answer yes to question 2. My mum always used to line up the food on the kitchen counter when we got back from the supermarket and go through the receipt to check it's all there - now I do it too!

 

Posted by Gina Dyer on Fri, 25/06/2010 - 16:19

 

 

Sorry Gina but that is really really sad.  Pointless too, if you find a mistake you've left the store so you cant get anything done about it.

Maybe I shouldnt be an accountant because I never check my change, never check bills, and indeed today 2 clients paid me in cash and I didnt even count it to see if it was correct - I never do.  Maybe Im too trusting.

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By nogammonsinanundoubledgame
27th Jun 2010 06:01

Not so, CD

You may be out of pocket, but if there is an item missing you might still have to go out again and get it.

With kind regards

Clint Westwood

(from laptop in bed at 06:01)

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